Thanks William, for the information you have provided. When my Mother was living at home alone a few years back I would call every day to make sure she was doing OK and I would go there once a week to check on her and the house. A neighbor lady that was just a few years younger than Mom would take her food shopping and to the doctor. Mom had some kind of problem that would make her just black out without any warning and she fell a few times but luckily the way I had it set up there would be someone checking on her at least once a day.
One day I tried to call her from my home while I was getting ready for work and there was no answer. I got to work and still, no answer. It was about 4 o'clock in the afternoon and I had still not gotten an answer from her, I told one of guys to take over (I was the 2nd shift supervisor at the time) and I drove like a crazy person to her house that was about a half hour away from my job. I got to the house and stuck the key in and opened the door and there was Mom sitting there watching Oprah eating her cheese crackers. Mom looked at me and asked what the heck I was doing there and shouldn't I be at work. I said "Mom!!! I've been trying to call you all afternoon. I checked the phone and it worked but the ringer volume had gotten turned down somehow.
Phew, I was both relieved and knew that it wouldn't be much longer before I would have to get her into an assisted living facility closer to my home so I could keep a better eye on her care. My Mom died of a brain seizure after just a few months at the assisted living place in November 2002 but she just loved it there and it was only 20 minutes from my home and I could stop there on the way to work to see her and make sure she had everything she needed. Mom made some friends there that she could talk to about the old days.
You’re right William; too many people are too busy to keep a close eye on their elderly parents. I now check on a friend’s Mom a couple of times a week and her youngest son and wife check on her the rest of the time. My friend moved to New Mexico two year ago but her Mom always treated me like one of her daughters so now I act like I am one and make sure Mom (she won’t let me call her anything but Mom) is doing OK.
Wowzers, what a public service message---Should be broadcast from every TV, unless ppl have a run in with this situation they just don't think about it.
As you know at AL and the NH all the restraints have been taken off (the use it or lose it theory) Which of course is good.
but I remember going to an inservice one day at the BEST NH in MN and the educator answered a well thought out question with......"It is every person's RIGHT to fall"
Sounded kinda funny to hear it.
Think about it.....interesting.
Every elderly person living alone should have someone call them (well check) QD or QOD just to be sure. Not rocket science here....But, like you say=We need to start caring about our elderly and give them the respect THEY HAVE EARNED.
I continue to work at that nursing home. Why? Because they NEED a good nurse. Some one who really cares. Who will hug them and ask about their lives. It is one of my true loves in life....the elderly. And don't you know we are all in training.
Last nite I was floated to an intensive med/surg floor as hospice had a low census. My favorite pt. was a 97 yo tiny little woman with sore on her feet and terrible rashes on her legs. She was such a dear, so pale. So Vulnerable. White wispy hair, red-rimmed eyes full of tears. Lost within herself, needy, scared. "I want to get out of here!"
"Where is my mom and dad, why don't they come and pick me up?"
My heart just went out to her. I held her hand, and cooed sweet nothings (don't even remember what i said) and soothed her hair as a mother would do to a child. The continuum of life had come full circle. For her. And for me.
What a pleasure for me to sit with her and share. No words. None necessary. Just a deep deep abiding love and such peace. Tears in my eyes as I share this with you.
All the previous charting. Noncompliant, angry, won't take her pills, verbally abusive, wants to be left alone.....all words that push someone deeper into a box of no return. So sad. I do understand tho, it was a med/surg floor, different focus....task oriented care. Not bad just different, not my usual focus.
I so wanted to just pick her up and carry her to Hospice. Here again we need education, it is coming slowly.
As the day shift arrived an aide went in to weigh her roomate. NA comes out and sez "are you the nurse just recently talking with the elderly lady in bed 2?" Yeppers, that would be me. "She sez she loves you and needs you."
It doesn't get any better than that.
I need you too Annabelle. God Speed.
HIPPA---Not her real name.
Mamabear, I had such a darling patient just last week. She was 96 years old and terriby frightened after taking a fall and hurting her hip. She did not fracture it, thank God!
But every time I would lean over her to listen to her breathing or her heart, she would reach up and stroke my cheek with her tiny hand and say, "I just loooooove you!" I would take her hand in mine and say, "Thank you, my dear lady!" She was still Alert/Oriented X3, but she was simply scared and needed some reassurance. She had the clearest hazel eyes... I still remember how bright they were.
She went back home, but her daughter (who was in her seventies and looked to be in her fifties) told me that she would make arrangements for her mother to move to an assisted living facility in the area that had an excellent reputation.
There are happy endings, Mamabear. You and I both know this- every nurse does. And what a privelege it is to be allowed to have a small place in the lives of these amazing, beautiful people! Bless you, Mamabear, and thank you for bringing out that memory. My heart is that much warmer for it.
This is a fabulous post. When my dad (now deceased) began living alone after Mother was placed in a nursing home, I set him up with Life Alert. But the stinker would not wear the Life Alert button. Fortunately he never had to use it.
Life Alert is a great idea provided the elderly person cooperates and wears the button.
Thank you for answering my question. It is true more and more elderly choose to live alone, which they have more years of experience than what we have. I do check on my elderly relative reguarly and make sure they are in good shape.
Pennsy, I'm glad I could answer your question. And I sincerely applaud you for the care you give your relative. I can listen to good stories like yours all day long and not get tired! It's really encouraging. Keep up the great work!
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