suicide is a hard thing to understand, especially when you're in the medical field and witness people fighting for their lives day in day out, and then someone comes along and chooses to end their life for no reason (well none that you can see)
i think as medical professionals too, you tend to analyse it a bit more... you can only live in hope that she is in a happier place
I'm sorry that you and your coworkers are having to go through this experience. There are no easy answers when it comes to why people kill themselves. You are right when you say that it was her decision, and that is that. There is nothing more that you can do.
MJ
I am SO sorry that happened. That would be traumatic to a unit. It is hard to understand why someone would do that. Hang in there...
Everyone, thank you for your very kind words. Having friends like you is a blessing beyond words.
I'm okay. She never gave anyone a clue that she was so unhappy. Not even her husband. She denied the people who loved her most from helping her. So she did not just rob herself... she robbed us of the chance to love her back.
Sad for her, mad at her... sad for her, mad at her. It's just nuts.
What a horrible thing...glad to know you are handling it okay. When someone doesn't give any signs, it's hard to know when they need help....
My friend. I'm so sorry. 
I seen your blog name in my referred list.
You're an excellent writer.
-Chuck
My grandmother was a R.N. and knows the devastating effects of suicide. My grandmother's youngest sister, which would be my great-aunt, commmited suicide when I was only about a year old.
I am coming over a crisis myself, just last week I was in a terrible automibile accident. I am still recovering from it, but doing much better than what I was. I was just so lucky that my five year old was not along with us when the accident happened.
Many many years ago, the nurse in charge of our ICU put a shotgun in her mouth. The feelings of the whole staff were similar to what you described. The only positive thing that came out of it was that many, many people who were stressed, depressed, and nearly over the edge, learned to share, to seek help, and to prevent themselves from seeking that terribly permanent solution.
Take care of each other...we are all that we have, at the end of the day.
I am sorry for the loss of your friend.
It is really sad that she wasnt able to reach out when there were people who loved her to help.
It is hard to understand, even when you have been standing on that edge yourself. Let it be known that there is help out there. The one thing I learnt was that it wasn't a burden to my counciler, and it wan't frivalus, but it was a burden off me as my issues were imporant to me.
I said that I would never stop someone, and I think this is still true. But I would sure try to get them the help they need.
Gone but never forgotten.
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