Nzingha's Soapbox
Nzingha, I think you've left out some stuff.
You're in the States with some or all of your kids, your father is very ill, and you've fallen out with your brother?
Well anyway, as of yesterday I have two empty bedrooms now that my daughter and her friend have moved to an apartment. If you want to come to Florida, I'll find you a spot.
Great you're back on the blog--too bad your life with bro' is unhappy, and your father is hospitalized.
One of the best pieces of advice I've ever received from a colleague about career choices, but that also applies here is: Go where you are wanted and loved.
I would add, do it ASAP before what is an unpleasant situation breaks final ties, and causes hurts no one needs; and try to be near enough to your father so you are reassured about his well-being (or stay in touch with him and his doctors). If you + 5 kids are considered too large a family in the US then consider having the 2 older ones stay in a welcoming environment you trust or even an overnight camp (a Muslim one?) while you and the 3 youngest stay together somewhere else. If you can afford it, renting a cottage until Mr. Man arrives would give you and the whole family your own home away from home, be fun, and ease tensions. If it is close to your future home (aren't you glad you bought it!) you can get to know the neighbourhood, neighbours, children's activities, etc.
Good luck!
I don't think it's ever too late with family sweetie. Your brother sounds somewhat narcissistic (very self absorbed), but I also have to ask what happened with your parents that caused this falling out. Each side has a story here, and he may have suffered being closer to the family for whatever reason.
I think you can still have him in your life, but just make it a once a month family eats out kind of thing, so there's very little private contact. You don't call unless there's a life-threatening emergency and just come together periodically for now.
I hope that you can find a new housing arrangement since this doesn't sound healthy. Your husband is so supportive luckily, so lean on him and tell him about your brother. Good luck dear.
Laura: lol yes I'm in the states, got here on the 2nd, flight went ok btw and I'm having problems w/ my brother. He is who he is or at least chooses to be and I've personally had enough. my father will be in the hospital for a few days so if I leave I won't do it till he is back home. But w/out totally telling my brother off in a major way it is best I probably move on. So I just may take you up on that offer 
Chiara- I don't have a shortage of options. I can catch up with old friends in Lousianna and I don't doubt I'll be welcome w/ open doors. Or I can go to St. Louis rent a place and wait on Mr. Man. Or I can sit here go on with my life, visit with my father and ignore my brother (easy to do since he is never here). But this isn't what I came all this way for and it is sad.
Lisa- No never too late for family but there comes a time when you question if putting yourself out there is worth it. The other person has to at least come half and I'm not even getting that.
But no worries I have my own family to put that energy in to
sadddd...i hope things work out for u..and u have agood holiday at least for your kids sake..
sad.i know.i know how you feel.my brother is also the same kind.its very sad.thank goodness i dont have to stay with him even for a short while otherwise i would die of disappointment.if i were you,i would leave if i have other options.
Its hard to turn your back on family, but sometimes I think you just have to. I've written my brother off, he's in jail (again) 3000 miles away so it hasn't been that hard, although I did get a letter the other day but it was mostly about how he's the victim and could I send him some stamps, so I probably won't answer.
My mother has written her brother off, for different reasons but he's still a major jerk. None of us speak to him at all anymore, he just doesn't exist to us. Strange how 2 people can be raised in the same house with the same parents and yet turn out so differently.
Nzingha, my heart goes out to you and the children. It must be awful to have such stress and your father's hospitalization, but I know that you will do what is necessary for those you love. You have a huge network of support and will attract the 'answer' to this situation. Peace be with you
Nzingha--great you have options, including staying put!
Families can be so complicated!! I could also write a post or two about this...
"where will u go?" ouch. i dont think i would ever visit my brother if that was his response to me saying i am thinking about leaving his house.
at least you have your own house to move into soon and wont have to put up with anyone's bs when you want to go to the states.
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