Nzingha's Soapbox
Nz, may God increase your kind.
When are men going to learn that the mere presence of a woman does not have to send them into fits of hysterical sexual frustration? That they actually have a choice about the direction of their thoughts?
When they get it that we are like and equal humans. I just don't know if that will ever happen in the Middle East.
I'm a Christian, not a Muslim, so I'm not familiar with what the Koran has to say about this subject. I am, however, familiar with what the Bible has to say. I'm paraphrasing here, but Jesus said "If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out". Meaning, of course, that you have the choice of looking away if there's something that you're looking at that's tempting you to sin.
Conservative Christian circles seem to think of women in much the same way as women are thought of in Saudi. If a man has an impure thought, naturally it couldn't POSSIBLY be his fault for allowing the thought to continue. No, it MUST be the fault of the woman he's thinking about for being so "sexy". I think it's total crap, personally.
Men, you're responsible for your own thoughts. If you're finding yourself tempted by a woman, LOOK AWAY and think of baseball or something. Women shouldn't have to be completely removed from your sight in order for you to function as a decent human being. As adults, you should have enough self control to look away even if women are parading themselves naked in front of you (not that parading naked would be okay, but you get my point). Placing all of the blame on women actually says that men aren't much better than animals with uncontrollable mating instincts. I truly don't understand why men would rather widows and their children live in squalor rather than avert their eyes once in a while.
Lindsey, thx for mentioning the Christian aspect of the same thought, I forgot to. Guess it shows I didn't read the Book today :S
Funny how some Christian men forget the verses just previous to the one you cited, where Jesus says that to look upon a woman and lust after her makes a man guilty of adultery.
kinzi- oddly it is the minority who seemed to be sent into a sexual frenzy when I'm out and about. I have had my share of perverts, in various countries Saudi doesn't hold a monopoly here but they aren't the norm, at least not for me.
What is amusing, but sad at the same time, is that most men, especially Arab men, claim to be the 'protectors' of women who are weak and dependent in need of their protection. Yet it is men who tend to argue they are so weak they can't resist us in the next breath. Make sense?
Lindsey- Islam is clear that each individual, who is a capable mature individual (meaning the mentally ill or challenged are not held in the same light) are responsible for their own actions. I really need to write something about this to make it clear, at least how I know it. Men are told to lower their gaze, women are told to take care about themselves however they are not responsible for a mans decision to act in a wrong way.
For some men, yes it is better to ignore that women are largely the ones who live in poverty with such thinking. That they, the ones they claim to be protecting, are the ones that are put under more hardship just because there is a lack of accountability.
This lack of accountability seeps into so many other areas of life which creates an even larger social problem. And quite frankly it is something that needs to be corrected.
lol @ baseball.. true blue American. They can think of soccer here 
Kinzi- we have similiar teachings in hadith
Abu Hurairah,reported:
Muhammad pbuh said: Allah has preordained the very portion of adultery which a man (the son of Adam) will indulge in. There would be no escape from it. The adultery of the eye is the lustful look; the adultery of the tongue is licentious speech; and the heart yearns and desires, while the loins may or may not put into effect.
The strangest thing of all is that these very same men are being raised by whom? Women, mothers, sisters, grandmothers etc...these are the women that are basically teaching their sons and ultimately have blame in some part for what they grow up to be. So the women that are complaining...should change what they apparently believe about males as well...because they are the ones that seemingly believe that "boys will be boys" and not make the effort to correct that belief or behavoir in their sons while they are still small...and have some influence on them. It starts in the home...it starts with the mother...in my opinion.
It is economically sound to employ women than foreign workers, maybe the dwindling world economy will bring about a change. Many of the obstacles cited against employment for women can be overcome through stringent laws and regulations that are accessible. Lack of it will surely lead to abuse.
A great topic, and you've covered it well. Saudization is a start for women, and hopefully the progress will continue as it has in other countries at other times through the efforts of individual men and women and society as a whole.
It is amazing that nursing is so looked down upon for women, and that most nurses in MENA are men, as nurses in North America have increasing power and respect. I understand the cultural underpinnings though.
That other female occupation, air stewardess, is also out of the question in the Gulf--I was so amazed that all the stewardesses on Gulf Air with their "Arabian" caps were Brits and blond, and all the stewards Gulf Arabs looking forward to their stopover in Morocco (that comparatively relaxed country).
do most saudi women wear niqab? is there pressure to wear it?
coolred- Parenting in Saudi has its own issues which I want to address but will have to take more time with that.
1. parenting styles and the status of boys is much different. Probably similiar to how it is in Bahrain from what I'm seeing. That the 'boy can do no wrong' and he is a 'boy' and will be treated differently is the norm
2. most saudi women don't understand the power position they have as a Mother. For a mother is often seen as nothing more than the caregiver of her husbands children. They are their fathers possession after all and it complicates the matter. Because Saudi women generally lack authority as a law giver in the home it is picked up on by her kids and extended to her parenting over all.
just my view I'm no psychologist here
Kalimat- The lack of laws and regulations when it comes to women is a serious issue and needs definate attention. The other problem is enforcing those laws which as many working women around the globe knows isn't easy. I do hope that the economic slow down in Saudi (which is going to hit hard soon) will hopefully have a positive impact on more women working.. including my SIL instead of foreign hires.
Chiara- Air stwardesses was addressed not that long back.. NO WAY a saudi woman will be employed as one due to the travel and the need to have a mahram. I wouldn't suggest a Saudi woman up in the air traped with possible crazies just yet, I dont think it is safe. I would say that Saudi needs to SEE more SAUDI women working and outside of hospitals and schools.
The nurse issue is about touching or seeing a male. While it is ok to have a foriegn nurse come attend to a male patient a Saudi woman is out of the question. Keep in mind a Saudi male doctor can see a Saudi female if medially necessary so go figure that out!!
Naseem- I would say for most yes, but many of the younger generation seems not to be. I know some girls who would rip it off if they had the chance but feel forced to wear it by relatives or society at large.
Thanks for a review of the cultural underpinnings of certain off limits occupations. Since Morocco is more liberal all this was new to me in my first encounters with the Gulf.
Your take on parenting boys is accurate in my experience of various traditional patriarchal cultures, and your description elsewhere of Jihad's new found power of male hair patterns is hilarious and soooo familiar.
Chiara- Jihad is going to be a hairy ape according to his location of hair all over his body. It is intersting to watch him go through changes especially since he finds it all so fascinating.
Saudi tends to be the most limiting with its views on women in the work force. Which means only limited spots are open to begin with.
LOL--Ah yes, but an Alpha male "hairy ape". Tarzan of Arabia?
My nephew, on the other hand, is going to earn mega-bucks being the top goal tender in the National Hockey League. Perhaps he and Jihad the soccer star will meet at some future international press conference.
Saudi plus "most limiting" seem to go together.
why is it so unfortunate for women living in the country which follows sharia law the most?
rani- probably because they tend to use religion to dominate women and lessor their importance in society. Not that religion is the issue, or shariah itself, rather it is interpretation.
Chiara- Jihad prefers to be a goalie in ice hockey. So if the soccer thing doesn't work out I'm sure he can venture to that area of multi million dollar status
Ah I can see it now the World Hockey Tournament with Luke in one net and Jihad in the other, going for mega-bucks with bonuses for shut outs; followed by the Olympics, with Luke in goal for Canada or Italy(thanks to his aunt) and Jihad in goal for Saudi, Bahrain, or the US, going for the glory and the Gold! Television pans widely to adoring family members!
And back to the post, obviously professional hockey player is a profession that would be excluded for women.
Nzingha--Since you have so much time on your hands (big smile) I was wondering if you would be willing to take this on:
Calling on My White Sisters: Got Privilege?
Asalamu Walaikum Sisters (bros too)-
I have a lot of interest in white privilege and especially how mine has been altered since I have taken on the hijab. One sister likened it to having her "white privilege card revoked."
Sister Shahida has invited "Something I’d love to see a White Muslim woman blog about- confronting their White privilege in the larger society (suddenly becoming the ‘other’) and also within the Muslim community (being the sought after White woman, using Muslim community White privilege to dictate norms to other- brown- Muslim women) etc." And golly that does sound like fun, eh?
So I'm wondering if any of yous have interest in this topic and would maybe do something along the lines of a blog carnival? We could do both on face book and in the blogosphere.
What say eh? Input, advice and encouragement always appreciated.
If I tagged you and you are not white or white-identifying, I probably think you are right smart and would be interested in this or have connections who would 
*I think this would be best as a carnival or multi blog thing because our experiences are so diverse and yet similar because of this common thread--as we are already seeing in the comments. And it is an important topic, we can at least better ourselves through this kind of discourse--and maybe someone(s) else will get a clue too.
Love and Peace
Here's Shahida's post w/the comment
http://jamericanmuslimah.wordpre...k-me-questions/
well since that seems like such a simple subject to blog about LOL.. yea right.. of course I've had my card revoked in the US but moving here ya kind of get it back. now when I notice time passing by I'll write it down
"...she can quickly call security and have him put out if not arrested thus putting women in the role of power rather than leaving them powerless."
You've just answered why this change will never happen.
Men will not give up their position of privilege.
It will have to be TAKEN from them.
Umm Izzy- Yes and it will have to be Saudi women who takes it from them. It isn't like they will volunteer it
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