Nzingha's Soapbox
Well luckily my maid ran away yesterday,so I dont have to kill her, she only took some gold and left my son (3) in the street after she put some dettol in his milk, I kid you not. But you know what? THIS WAS MY MISTAKE! I take full responsibility for being so overwhelmed that I let a stranger into my home or to have any close contact with my children or my kitchen. Iam the idiot, shes just the poor desperate bitch that offered her services, and pretended to be a great practicing Muslim (married I may add) before she took off with a Bengali driver (not my driver). Oh yeah She also killed the battery in my van by leaving the door open all night so I wouldnt chase her.
The reality is these people are losers, so why let them into our homes? I guess Im off the point here, but why would the problems go so far that someone should get killed? I told her from the beginning, if ever your not comfortable or anything is wrong TALK TO ME, and ALLAH knows I treated her as a sister in Islam and I ask him to punish her, and he will.
And I am sitting here asking how the Middle East changed me that much that I feel I need domestic help, this is my family and for now on we will do everything ourselves. Ironing will go out, car to wash and we will be back to eating out alot more but over my dead body will I bring another maid stranger into my home. Never liked the idea, just got swept up with the idea of my burden being a little lighter. But I praise ALLAH to have this large family and am grateful that nothing worse happened. Alhumdallah
Nzingha--Indeed, hard to put a price on any life, and prevention is key. It would seem easier to transfer the maid elsewhere rather than to kill/torture the woman, if only to prevent criminal charges, a trial, and publicity.
UmMuhammad--you are the official winner of the award for the horrible maid stories I am aware of (poor-caregiving category).
I hope that you will take advantage of other services as you implied(like sending out chores, and bringing in food) since you are understandably live-in maid shy.
Oh Chiara,
then you have heard nothing yet.
UmMuhammad - You can't report it to police if crime is committed?
Sometimes these maids bring more work than one granted for if kids are raised to pick up after themselves then really there isn't much work beside cooking and cleaning which can be done with involving everyone in the family. I found out if stay at home moms or wives do work themselves then husbands also doesn't give that much grieve and try to help you out.
Um Muhammed--It was the " left my son (3) in the street after she put some dettol in his milk" that won you the award. I've heard of the theft, accidental burning of child, sleeping with the husband, as part of expat life, but this somehow surpasses them.
I was saddened to read that it could be only two years for the wife. I thought life in prison was too easy for murderers here. What an odd system....People here stateside make it sound like a Saudi is beheaded everyday, like it's a normal press conference event for the country...
Um Muhammad- you do win the award my stories are slight in comparison to that.
Chiara- It is sad that people woudln't choose to just send the maid out of the home in order not to harm her because it is the right thing to do. Now I'm not saying that there aren't people in the world that can press your buttons we all have that. And it is really hard when that person lives in your home day after day but to abuse them!!
Neena- it all depends on the size of the family, the makeup of the family and the need to have a babysitter, or how much company you have ect ect. It is easy to say "well you can do it all" and yea.. I'm sure each woman can do it all and go flippen insane. It is stressful at times having a maid and more stressful sometimes not having one. flip a coin really. But there is plenty of work to go around my house with a maid and a nanny.
Lisa- not quite everyday. There was a man who was put to death in the last few days who take the blame for his wife who killed their maid. Sad..But two years is not enough.
These stories that keep coming out of Saudi and the Gulf about the way they treat their maids are really shocking and depressing :S...especially since Saudi claims to deal out justice fairly and follow Islam etc etc...but I guess once again justice is selective.
Um Muhammad: your story is horrible, I can't believe someone would do that to a 3-year old...but like you said, it's not necessary to sink so low as to kill the maid.
As Salaam Alaikum,
The usual way a maid is brought to your home is through an agency. The agency hands you about a dozen papers with a picture of the maid, how tall she is, how much she weighs, what she can do and if she has worked before. That's all. There is no way that you can interview a maid before you bring her to your home. So you don't know what you are getting until you get her. You are bringing a total stranger into your home and you don't if she is some kind of psycho, thief, etc. The money that you spend just to bring her (agency fees, medical fees, immigration fees )is at least $3,500 USD.
You don't know if she will make voodoo on you and your family, you don't know if she will spit in your food just to be spiteful, etc. I too have maid horror stories. I guess everyone does. UmMuhammed that former maid of yours takes the top award. Alhamdulilah your son wasn't harmed by her.
Nzingha, I don't know what the Islamic laws are regarding punishment for killing a person but the woman should have been punished more not just two years and as made to pay the blood money to the maid's family. Such a shame. Aoothubillah.
Sorry for the long comment.
i am horrified.the maid story is terrible.and i agree.its better to do stuff on your own than to depend on outside help.specially where kids are involved.
I gave up prestige and career for the sake of not wanting to have a stranger in my home, touching my stuff and raising my kids. I kept thinking what if but over and over again the answer would be the same. I CANNOT have a stranger in my home too many risks involve and won't be able to forgive myself if anything happen.
sara- I guess when you consider how many maids are in the kingdom and are treated well, are paid on time, and are never harmed vs that of the cases you see in the news where they are abused.. I think the good outnumbers the bad. But it is the bad that makes press. Who wants to hear that I pay my maid on time? Buy her food? Makes sure she is safe?? nobody 
Maryann- we gave up on agencies. Mr. Man went to Morocco to interview the nanny, she is leaving in April and has decided to not give me attitude in the last two months (after a year + being here lol) so it is working out. Our maid's brother, uncle and nephew all work for Mr. Man at the office. She is..ok I don't think she would do us any harm because her families livelihood is to intertwined with our household.But I told her that she needed to start thinking of not being someones maid.. come up with a plan where she can earn money for her self back home with her kids. After her contract is up that is it... no more full time maids.
UmYusuf- I think many women the world over struggle with the same decisions.
I cant believe that someone would only get 2 years for killing a maid or anyone else. Regardless of what they do, to kill them is absurd.
My neighbor is some big shot in the police and he has put out a warrant for my maid, for theft,negligence and attempted murder was just added as the toxicology reports came back positive. Her name and passport # is in every computer in this country and he was thinking about interpol. The problem is she will work w/ no passport illegally in another emirate and it could be years until she gets caught. I can only imagine what her judgement day will be like. What is scary is she was happy here. I admit my lil guy is a brat and hit her in the head w/ a wooden paddle cause she wouldnt leave her work and play tennis with him, I disciplined him (he just turned 3 days ago) and had to apoligize, stand on time out for 20 mins and then help her w/ her work. She acted like it was no big deal and then even acted oh like dont punish him, hes just a baby. But she obviously didnt forget it (it was several weeks ago) and poisoned him. She didnt know that wouldnt kill him. Whats the difference between her and the Saudi that tortured the maid to death? Anyway I just pray for the strength to ge my things done myself. Well actually someone I know and trust (more like a family member) is going to help me for 3 hours a day which will be great, plus my kids will be homeschooling so they will have chores.
UmMuhamed--glad to hear that she will at least be identifiable, and serious employers will be able to check the real ID.
Nzingha--it is true, that like much else the gruesome minority make the news. Most maids, including friends who worked au pair between degrees, are good, and some are wonderful. they do make life easier for career women and full-time moms.
OHHhh, SubhanAllah,
I wish there was some sort of Non-fiction Compilation of Crazy Maid Stories.
My husband and I talk of living abroad (his home country) when the kids are teenagers (wallahu alim), and he always talks about how having a maid is so great.
I'm always like, "Not from what I'VE read!! I've heard so many crazy maid stories!"
And he always says, totally skeptical, "WHAT crazy maid stories??"
p.s. Sorry, I didn't mean to tread on the subject of this particular maid's grim end lightly.
As usual, after reading these Arab News stories though, I'm left with more questions than were answered.
I can't imagine what possessed all the people involved in that tragic story.
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