Nzingha's Soapbox
Assalamu Alaikum,
MashaAllah. I don't commend fighting for no reason, but I also don't recommend letting yourself get beat, shoot, child, please. I can't believe the principal hasn't seen that attitude before; and I really can't believe that he doesn't believe Jihad when he tells his story. If you know a kid is honest, then you have to believe he's honest all of the time. Why tell on yourself, then lie about a small detail?! Makes no sense.
IA Jihad's hand feels better quickly, and issues resolve themselves and your kids come out strong but discerning. I really want to discuss education in the ME sometime with you; I've followed your vignettes from (not) learning Arabic and English to math and special ed with great English.
Keep up the good work, advocate for your kids; no one else will. And when you do, people pay attention.
fimanillah
TT
GAH! With great INTEREST. Good grief.
Our daughter's elementary school, a Catholic school, had a strict no-fighting policy. I told her that if she had any problems she was to give the school personnel one chance to take care of them, since they said they would, and after that she was to do what she had to do and we'd back her to the hilt.
So once there was a two-hour in-school suspension, and I could see the school's point; both girls got into it and no one could say who started it. Another time a boy bumped into her in the hall, (she thought on purpose,) she pushed him, he pushed her back, she slapped him, he slapped her ... all of this took place in the amount of time it took the teacher to reach them, running full tilt. The punishment for this was that she had to apologize on the phone to his mom, and he had to apologize to me. That boy weighed three times what she did, literally, and while I think she didn't have to engage in the fighting I was proud that she didn't back down.
wa alaikum salaam 22: Mr. Man can attest to the fact that for years I did the whole "don't fight, walk away if you can, see if you can talk it out" and a slew of other things I came to realize after years of bad things happening to Jihad and Hannah that I can't hold to it anymore. That they, Jihad especially, should be able to physically stand up for himself.
But the principal is a whole other issue and i don't think it is done with him yet.
Laura- Jihad is under a strictly DO NOT HIT GIRLS rule. If he was pushed by a girl in the hall if he pushed her back he would be in trouble.. let alone slap her even if she slapped him. Your daughter could have abused my poor boy and he would have to take it lol
he told the foul mouthed girl "I can't hit girls but I'll staple your mouth shut" I had to tell him that was included in the no hitting girls rule.
I wish Hannah would stick up for herself more.. she needs to find that courage in herself. And I keep telling her "your worth it bean" and she is starting to get it.
When we were kids, my mom had us walk ourselves to the bus stop or to school. I was in middle school and my brother was in elementary school. The neighborhood bully had been tormenting my brother and his friends all year. Phone calls to the bully's parents, to the school, etc., did nothing. The bully was never punished.
One day, my brother and his friend (named Mitch) were walking home from school together. The bully and his friend were on bikes, and started to circle around them saying "Mitch the bitch, Mitch the bitch" over and over again. I guess my brother finally snapped. He reached out, pulled the bully off of his bike, and proceeded to beat the ever loving tar out of the bully.
Bully never came near my brother or his friend again.
I totally believe in your principle. Don't start a fight but don't take @#$% from no one!! In the beginning, I told my daughter, tell the teacher is someone bothers you, well, that didn't work out well. One day she came home crying that I girl called her names and pinched her really hard. I simple told her, these are issues that would *crop out* once in a while in the school but she should *fight* back. LOL
The next week,the same girl shoved her and my little girl shoved her back, since then, she's been getting respect from this girl. I told my daughter, once you defend yourself, no one would pick on you because they know you can fight back.
he told the foul mouthed girl "I can't hit girls but I'll staple your mouth shut" I had to tell him that was included in the no hitting girls rule.
Nzingha, I know you couldn't laugh at the time, but that's funny as heck right there.
I think if the school has a no-fighting policy then you or somebody needs to tell the principal that having such a policy means that the school has taken upon itself the responsibility for making sure the kids don't have to fight. It's not enough to say "don't fight", you have to have a plan for what to do when somebody curses somebody else's mother. And then follow through. Would the principal be more likely to listen if Mr. Man talked to him? And told him that the principal could solve Jihad's problem, or Jihad could solve it?
Also - the part about not hitting women; I feel you, but I'd hate to think Jihad could get the snot beaten out of him b/c some girl took advantage of your raising him to be a gentleman. Don't know what to do there. The boy who got in trouble with my daughter was expelled not long after that for holding another boy's hand under the hot water in the bathroom, trying to scald him. Some kids nowadays aren't playing.
Sadly this principal is forcing this behaviour on children since he doesn't have their respect.
We were initially appalled when my SIL told us her husband was teaching one of my Moroccan nephews how to fight, so he could handle the boys at school. However, she explained that although he is big, he is very gentle and doesn't fight back so he was getting pummelled at school. My Canadian nephew has 3 friends with a similar dilemma. The mothers are finally at the point where they are saying, just hit whomever once, you can take him easy and he won't bother you again. No little girl tormentors that I am aware of, but it is amazing how young some of the b**chy ones start, isn't it!
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