Show 'em the comfy chair, General, that'll get them talking!
renato |
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05.14.04 - 4:13 am | #
Praise Jesus, praise holy Mary, mother of God. Finally the Church is rigorously enforcing its pro-life policies so that American mothers can raise lots of young Christian soldiers who will grow up to fight in Dear Leader's glorious, just wars.
Remember, war doesn't kill people... abortion kills people!
Yours in Christ...
renato |
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05.14.04 - 4:16 am | #
Thank the Lord that the Catholic Church is taking such a principled, rigorous stance on abortion.
Some Catholic-haters say that the Church should instead focus on the problem of priestly pedophilia. This is just evidence of their mental illness and ungodliness.
After all, Jesus was clearly anti-abortion, but he never said anything about sex with children.
renato |
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05.14.04 - 4:20 am | #
"No one expects the American Inquisition!"
Sorry, that one just slipped out.
General, as the token daemon around these here parts, I must insist that you stop letting these people continue their breeding. While your Little Soldier snaps to attention at the idea of legions of new recruits, trust Cthulhu when He says: "You! Out of the gene pool!"
cthulhu |
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05.14.04 - 4:51 am | #
Fortunately conservative catholics are still entitled to their calls of death sentences for godless criminal types. The Lord, you will recall, smote many a heathen.
Jeff |
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05.14.04 - 8:05 am | #
I smote somebody once... but everbody experiments in college!
Hubris Sonic |
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05.14.04 - 8:34 am | #
Renato's conclusion, that Jesus "never said anything about sex with children", seems poorly grounded to me. I point to the Biblical verse "Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not." What does he think Jesus was talking about here?
However, until the infallible Pope, the Vicar of Christ on earth, reveals God's word on this issue beyond a shadow of a doubt, I think Renato should be allowed to receive communion, unless his pastor knows of a reason why not.
MistahCharley |
05.14.04 - 10:54 am | #
Indeed, they haven't actually sinned until they casts their vote for some stem cell research funding supporting servant of Satan.
That may be true for the Protestants, but Sister Rosemary taught us that it is as grave of a sin to think about an act as it to commit it. So any of you Catlics that have considered Kerry - get thee to a confessional before the eternal fires of damnation consume you!
R. O. |
05.14.04 - 11:10 am | #
Darn. Forgot to end the italics!
R. O. |
05.14.04 - 11:11 am | #
Darn. Forgot to end the italics!
R. O.
NO COMMUNION FOR YOU!!!! That's it, spit it back ... never mind the saliva, our priests carry a blowdryer just for that purpose.
Bishop Sheridan: Catholics, whether candidates for office or those who would vote for them, may not receive Holy Communion until they have recanted their positions
Aw, crap, he's going Galileo on us. (Bad idea in the middle of this low-carb diet craze.)
Peanut |
Homepage |
05.14.04 - 11:38 am | #
General,
Where there's Smote there's Furor. Or Fuehrer.
I am not a Catholic but I sleep at night on the Church approved Father Junipero Serra Bed O' Nails--I bought mine before the Mel Gibson Torture Yourself To Sleep O' Matic was on the market. Should I upgrade? Does God desire me to stay current in my blood-letting product choices, or should I just wake up screaming every morning and admit that having been created is the Greatest Sin of All? Help?
Yours in utter worthlessness and nagging weeping sores,
Forget the Spanish inquisitors, we will send AMERICAN ones who will wear black women's skirts while naked and high heels to boot!
Kick!
And we will send females who will taunt Jesus and make him naked and force him to mastrubate! Yes! Go, America!
Elaine Supkis |
05.14.04 - 12:45 pm | #
I received a response. I'll post it, along with my response to it, later, when I have some time.
Gen. JC Christian, Patriot |
Homepage |
05.14.04 - 2:31 pm | #
NPR had a segment on "All Things Considered" this afternoon, by Jeff Brady, about the Colorado Springs bishop who says Catholics who vote for Kerry or other pro-choice politicians, should be refused communion.
No mention of pro-choice Republicans.
No mention of pro-war or pro-death penalty Republicans.
It's all about Kerry and whether he's a good Catholic or not.
NPR - Nice, Polite Republicans.
I'm going to work phone bank next week for our local NPR station's classical station. I will be sure to bring this up with their personnel (who work for the news/talk NPR station as well).
renato |
Homepage |
05.14.04 - 6:52 pm | #
So, General, the Bishops heed your mighty sword?
Next, they will stop raiding the collection boxes!
Elaine Supkis |
05.14.04 - 9:32 pm | #
I also did not write nearly as excellent a letter as the General, but my questions were:
1. If a politician is morally opposed to abortion, yet believes that the proper way to deal with limiting abortion is through Christian intervention and education rather than secular laws, does this place them outside full communion? (and those who vote for them?) It's hard to believe that such a moral viewpoint could be a sin. Or is it the position of the church that salvation is achieved through secular laws?
2. Imagine a campaign for Senator. Politician A is a good, decent family man who has worked tirelessly for the people and helped the poor and happens to be for stem cell research to help research to cure people. Politician B is a racist, completely in the pocket of corporate interests, divorced twice and cheats on his third wife, and is opposed to stem cell research. How do I vote?
3. What about politicians who support the death penalty?
4. What about politicians who support preemptive war?
Pete Guither |
Homepage |
05.15.04 - 8:52 am | #
Now me, I want to sell indulgences for a mere 10% commission. That way, the rich can be blessed and let a vote-pecadillo or two, like voting for the Gropinator, go right past.
Dear General, since you are on such a friendly basis with the Bishop, would you make an inquiry for me? Before the Bishop begins the next round, would you ask what plans are being made to provide reparations to the decendants of families of the previous Inquisitions? My family has yet to recoup the 600 square leagues of land the RCC so graciously removed from our possession. Do you think the 27 silver mines were just too much temptation? Imagine, and after we gave them a Saint! Infallible in deed. Snort
Yours in perpetuity
Confirmed Heathen |
05.17.04 - 2:32 am | #
Show 'em the comfy chair, General, that'll get them talking!
"No one expects the American Inquisition!"
Fortunately conservative catholics are still entitled to their calls of death sentences for godless criminal types. The Lord, you will recall, smote many a heathen.
I smote somebody once... but everbody experiments in college!
Indeed, they haven't actually sinned until they casts their vote for some stem cell research funding supporting servant of Satan.
Darn. Forgot to end the italics!
General,
Forget the Spanish inquisitors, we will send AMERICAN ones who will wear black women's skirts while naked and high heels to boot!
I sent a letter to my local diocese today and will also send one to this bishop. My letter is on my blog. Not quite as sarcastic as the General's. 
I also did not write nearly as excellent a letter as the General, but my questions were:
Now me, I want to sell indulgences for a mere 10% commission. That way, the rich can be blessed and let a vote-pecadillo or two, like voting for the Gropinator, go right past.
Dear General, since you are on such a friendly basis with the Bishop, would you make an inquiry for me? Before the Bishop begins the next round, would you ask what plans are being made to provide reparations to the decendants of families of the previous Inquisitions? My family has yet to recoup the 600 square leagues of land the RCC so graciously removed from our possession. Do you think the 27 silver mines were just too much temptation? Imagine, and after we gave them a Saint! Infallible in deed. Snort
