General Sir,

I'd like to take a moment to recognize a True American Hero.

It makes my heart swell with manly pride to see Pulitzer Prize-winner Michael Goodwin's latest tactical combat maneuver to keep the Liberals from cutting us off on the gutter end in this election race. He has put his finger on Kerry the Pretender's most dangerous weakness: his wife.

I hope you'll agree to nominate him for a medal for his valiant conduct in the battle for the housewife swing-vote. We're lucky to have this man fighting on our side, wielding his black-belt catfighting techniques abd PMS-filled prose. Why, he's not the slightest bit concerned that people might think he's homosexual -- now that Sir, is outstanding bravery!
melior | 10.27.04 - 3:30 am | #

Sir,

Here is the executive summary I'd propose be submitted to the Pulitzer committee:

"...spoiled rich brat unpopular insulting oddball goofy Botox Armani Chanel head case weird Prozac crazy rich spoiled rich billionaire feared
wise superior arrogant presumptive privileged rich inherited ketchup pampered super-rich philanthropist first lady."
melior | 10.27.04 - 3:35 am | #

Sounds interestingly evil and French.

I'd do her.
cgeye | 10.27.04 - 1:25 pm | #

Yuck. Those guys haven't put out a decent album since 1981, and now they're doing a movie?

Ick.
Grand Moff Texan | Homepage | 10.27.04 - 1:43 pm | #

Another tribute to Dubya's leadership:

Catastrophic Success
James | Homepage | 10.27.04 - 2:53 pm | #

General,
I am afraid you are mistaken.

During the years that our George II was protecting Texas poolrooms and saloons from infiltration by the Viet Cong, and that the Pretender was busily betraying America and meeting with Ho Chi Mhin, Rush was denied his opportunity for martial glory.

The Army Doctor, probably a Commie agent, detected a pimple on Rush's ample and manly buttocks and said he was 4F.

Now, I know that is a crock of shit.
No one would be rejected for a mere pimple. For years, cowardly Frenchies have suggested Rush's rich Dad pulled some strings, but I think the traitorous Doktor Commie reconized a grade AA Hetrosexual Giant of a Man, who would be more than a match for the pajama wearing pansies that the Viet Cong had fighting!

Too bad you weren't there, General. In Rush's hometown.
I am sure you would have lovingly, but manly rubbed as much Clearasil on Rush's masculine ass as was needed. And, perhaps, teach Rush a few wrestling moves he would need in 'Nam, right?
I remember one move my Scout leader taught me, it served me well in my unfortunate stretch in prison.
He called it "Doggy Humping."
Holy Jack | 10.27.04 - 4:30 pm | #

Rush heroically supported the pharmaceutical industry almost single-handedly for a while.
Mojo | 10.27.04 - 5:05 pm | #

Ah, Rush Limbaugh.
Now there's a man who knows the value of baconfat.
the Rev. Jerry Gloryhole | 10.27.04 - 6:45 pm | #

what's the difference between the Hindenburg and Rush Limbaugh?

One is a Nazi gasbag, the other's a blimp.

-- credit due I believe to Doonesbury about 8 years ago.
fubarsnafu | 10.28.04 - 10:09 am | #

So this guy expects that people will read a whole book in less than a week? What a dufus.
Sunnie | Homepage | 10.28.04 - 11:58 am | #

Oops. I mean "Great plan".

Seriously, I hope it works, but I won't hold my breath.
Sunnie | Homepage | 10.28.04 - 5:25 pm | #

Now now, Miss Cgeye, don't go talkin' like that, or you'll get the Soldiers (big and little and even el penitos) all hot & bothered.

You're also not doing me a damned bit of a favor here, with my abstinence campaign...
Anntichrist S. Coulter | 10.28.04 - 10:30 pm | #