AFA Boycotts Disney!!!
Dear Readers of Jesus' General,
This is the final turkey in the straw. I, along with my fellow furry and feathered movie stars will no longer tolerate these kinds of personal attacks on our freedoms:
This from the AFA:

"Disney’s attack on America’s families has become so blatant, so intentional, so obvious, that American Family Association has called for a boycott of all Disney products until such time as this activity ceases"

Please join myself, Mickey and Minnie, Ferdinand the Bull, Peter Pan and tomboy Jet in Annette in protest against the AFA by stealing our videos from neighborhood stores. AFA sponsors homeschooling, and the paucity of these videos available to AFA parents will immediately break up their support of AFA and cause these parents to send their children to government sponsored schools.
Big Bird | 12.10.04 - 7:04 am | #

I think we all know that it was the sin of sodomy with fish that caused God to destroy Atlantis. So, General, I think you'd be wise to give your virgin daughters to the mob of sinful liberals who were outside the door, trying to rape either you, Ed, or that plastic shark (they weren't really clear in what it was they wanted, and may have only been trick or treaters, but one can't be too sure when fish sodomy is involved.
s.z. | Homepage | 12.10.04 - 7:43 am | #

General, sir;

Ah yes, the joys of vinyl.

In my college days, me and my friends decided to play a prank on a roommate. We liquored him up and then placed a vinyl marital-aid doll in his bed. We told him that a hot co-ed was waiting for him in his room. Well, he bolted in there, closed the door, and came out 10 minutes later. "How was it?" we all sniggered. "Not so bad," my roommate replied. "But she was kinda strange," he continued, "we were getting all hot and heavy and when I bit her tit, she farted and flew out the window!"
wry twinger | 12.10.04 - 7:46 am | #

Now hold on just a minute! Is this Ed guy (no relation) trying to imply that Santa is a homsexual trying to recruit the young?! That's pure french propaganda if there ever was such a thing. Everyone knows there is a Mrs. Claus up there at the North Pole, and Santa is a manly man if there ever was one. General, congratulations, you appear to have unmasked this poseur for what he is---a Village Voice reading flamer!

Perhaps someone should alert CBS as to this Ed guy's blatant deception---how dare he pose as a spokesman for the moral Christians among us, while secretly reading the Village Voice and having impure thoughts about Santa!
The Venerable Ed | 12.10.04 - 9:55 am | #

Give the winger some credit for a sense of humor. That was a pretty decent response.
Arnold Publius California | Homepage | 12.10.04 - 11:00 am | #

My Liege,

I have pondered why so many of our batallion are throwing spitballs ( having run out of regulation ordinance) at Mr. Vitaglioni. He speaks the truth whether we like it or not. When Mr. Stinkeye and I went to our first dinner theater, we were disbielivin''t what we saw on stage. My unsaved sister-in-law had given us the tickets and, though we had our misgivings, there was the free meal to consider. Heaven help us but we were subjected to 15 minutes of the worst kind of nancy boy cavorting. My stomach lurched and I dug my nails into Mr. Stinkeye's arm when we saw this Bernardo fellow taunt and tease the confused Tony. We stormed out of there after hearing the propogandist abomination "Somewhere". "Somewhere" is a firey hell meant for these gunsels of Satan. That sweet, though brownish, little Maria never saw it coming. It should have been that Tony person singing "I Feel Pretty" when that Bernardo creature stared him up and down and all around.
"I Feel Filthy" is more like it. Mr. Stinkeye was so unnerved that he spent an awful long time in the Mens Room. He told me he had been
on his knees, God Bless him, when he felt the Rapture. I'll just
bet that sister-in-law of mine knew just what she was doing; That Rhymes With Witch!
stinkeye | 12.10.04 - 12:02 pm | #

Herr General?
thehim | Homepage | 12.10.04 - 12:59 pm | #

General,

It gets worse. Remember Cheaper by the Dozen? The father has sex with the wife 12 times, which equals the number "twelve", a fact obvious to all except Bakers. So I'm watching the movie and all I can think about is papa swimming up the momma stream (saw your earliar post with the Monica Fish--nice stuff!) over and over again. 12 times! As you already know, 12 is an astrological number, and is referent to Pagan Coupling and Lunar Babies (see L.Ron Hubbard for that one).

God has so frowned on the number 12 that he added dinner-roll-Jesus to the last supper list, only to then have him slaughtered by "Free Willy" (another instance where the loaves and the fishes never have to do dishes!)

Are you confused? As my Aunt Larry used to sing,

Bang the vinyl animated figure
Slip and slide, my friend
Start with kissing at the top
Then move on down the bend, boys
Move on down the bend

Ah, Aunt Larry! She was the one who pointed out that God created the Universe all by Himself, but instead of cleaning up the onanistic stain he made everybody tell Him how great it was. Vinyl didn't come along until much, much later.

Tres Quatros

+++
MJS | 12.10.04 - 1:28 pm | #

Reserve some of that credit, Mr. Pubicus, it's an old joke...
wry twinger | 12.10.04 - 2:28 pm | #

It took me many trips to the man in Seattle who spanks people for money before I felt that I had been appropriately punished for my transgression, but my redemption is finally complete. I know that God has forgiven me, and I stand spotless before Him.

Bwahahahahhahhahahahhahaahahahahaha

I need another keyboard.
Blondesense | Homepage | 12.10.04 - 2:30 pm | #

MJS,

the family that "Cheaper by the Dozen" was based on had a few sets of twins, and they weren't "Irish", so they obviously violated the Catholic "One ride, one post-born fetus" rule.

Just so you know.
The Dark Avenger | Homepage | 12.10.04 - 3:21 pm | #

Catholics and their shifty ways! Argh! Still, some sperm were wasted, I suppose.

+++
MJS | 12.10.04 - 8:39 pm | #

Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh...

And to S.Z.: Ditto.

Small wonder why y'all are my two favorite peoples on all of the internets...

Fish-fucking.

Whew.

Just another completely normal day here at the General's... heh heh heh...
Anntichrist S. Coulter | 12.10.04 - 10:12 pm | #

Buddy Whackett, I mean Hackett, did a joke about fish fucking about 20 years ago, I don't recall the joke completely, only that it was about him being an old man and would only get a hard on about twice a year. Well one time he was out fishing in a boat by himself, and got one, and the only thing around was a fish he caught. He went on to say that news in the celebrity realm travels fast, and when he went back to shore, a woman came up to him and said to him, "Fish Fucker!"

Yeah I know, I should have posted this in the previous thread, but it seemed just as appropriate here...
jeff-perado | 12.10.04 - 11:14 pm | #

Kerik just stepped down because of an illegal nanny. Go here for more info: www.politicalthought.net
Igor | Homepage | 12.10.04 - 11:30 pm | #

So Kerik didn't step down because he schtupped a Vietnamese woman and ditched her and the kid, but he did step down because he might have hired a housekeeper whose papers weren't in order.

Oooooo-kaaaay.....
renato | Homepage | 12.11.04 - 2:30 am | #

But of course, Renato!

It's all a matter of perspective, my dear.

An illegitimate child and abandoned concubine in VietNam? Trifles.

A minor-league felony over illegal domestics? Tres tasteless. Besides, reminding everyone that he wasn't the rough-and-ready Nu Yawk copper that he might have once been --- instead, he was a social-climber with DOMESTICS --- something that really pisses in the face of Dumbya's whole "down-home" bullshit.

Perspective.

After all, Dumbya didn't actually GO to VietNam, but he's somehow perceived as a "veteran" and "WAR HERO," so I guess it all depends on which side of the looking glass you prefer.
Anntichrist S. Coulter | 12.11.04 - 9:53 pm | #