I heard tell that the newly elected brownskin hottie, Senator Salazar, has been asked to introduce Gonzales at the beginning of the hearings. (That French screed Corrente said it was in the NY Times, so make of it what you will.)
Could anyone up early today be a love and call Senator Salazar's office, to give him the congratulations he deserves? His number is 202-224-5852; he doesn't have voicemail yet, but I'm sure his staff would be happy to hear from right-thinking Americans.
Oh -- and isn't the Presidential vote ratified tomorrow morning, too? Hmmm....
cgeye |
01.06.05 - 2:32 am | #
He didn't cover the statue because he was a prude.
He was jealous.
Ashcroft just wanted to be the only Boob on the podium.
Holy Jack |
01.06.05 - 5:04 am | #
Of course. That addition elevates that statue from mere pornography to art. See the difference is pornography strictly tries to arouse you, and that statue, without the addition, certainly would have my soldier aroused and ready for action. What a build!
Now jump start the seductive statue with a practical, manly tool, and you've got a statement. Look beyond the practicality of jumper-cable storage, and you'll see that the statement is the spirit of justice sometimes has a weak battery. And nothing jump starts justice's weak battery like a jolt of electricity to the nipple.
Nothing arousing about that, well maybe for the S&M crowd, but elevate your sensibilities. The potential Inquisitor General would like to send the message that if we think justice needs a little jolt to get it where we need it to be, we'll do it. We've got ways.
The Venerable Ed |
01.06.05 - 5:31 am | #
¿Qué el jode? ¡Quite esta estatua inmediatamente y lo reemplaza con un luchador Romano muscular!
Senor Gonzalez |
01.06.05 - 6:30 am | #
General Sir,
Unfortunatly the photographer has cropped the shot so much we cannot see the electrodes attatched to the Spirit of Justice's genitals. A truly great day for the further erosion of democratic rights.
A fellow stalwart of the General recommended A Handmaid's Tale as an inspirational and prescient comment on the New America. How it has opened my eyes to the beauty of self-effacing service to our Fearless Commander! The book did have one serious flaw in assigning only one "handmaid" (though I didn't notice much hand action, disappointingly) to each commander. The beauty of Dear Leader's leadership is the there is room for not just one Ofgeorge, but many. Ofgeorge/oftorture can stand proudly alongside Ofgeorge/ofignoringBinLaden and the rest of the Ofgeorge legion.
I can clearly picture Ofgeorge/oftorture sitting on the lower rung of the birthing stool suffering the contractions of labor to deliver the newborn torture document while on the higher rung of the birthing chair, the Commander himself holds full possession the fruit of his helper's loins.
ZTP |
01.06.05 - 10:19 am | #
he is already hemming and hawing!!!!
dig how he brought his kids to sit in the front row to bat their 1st generaqtion eyes at the bad, bad liberals.
if bush loves him he might fold up like a cheap suit just like that Kerik creep did.
Beth |
Homepage |
01.06.05 - 10:33 am | #
Somewhere, Michael Powell's XXL head just exploded.
norbizness |
Homepage |
01.06.05 - 10:39 am | #
High on the wind, up in the breeze
That terrorist bird does what he please
But we all know better, and soon he will pay
We'll zap that bird's titties and zap him some more
(we'll zap that bird's titties and zap him some more)
The will of the people is loud and so clear
As we fight off enemies far and some near
From stem cells to women who tempt us because they are whores
And don't get me started on homos, dear Lord
(and don't get me started on homos, dear Lord)
(chorus)
Up in the sky, a symbol of yore
The pansy ass-eagle, he looks mighty sore
(the pansy-ass eagle, he looks mighty sore)
No enemies can peck and claw at our land
Without getting electrodes placed on their glands
Placed on their glands--after all it is war
The pansy-ass eagle, he looks mighty sore
Never let faint heart, never ye' squirm
Empty the bottle and knock back the worm
Justice is empty when we're in the dark
Let's light up those bastards right here in the park
(Let's light up those bastards right here in the park)
This wire will stand for those brave and true
This constant conduit puts black on the blue
This is the switch that startles Tom Joad
Let's keep him down, boys, apply electrodes!
(Let's keep him down, boys, apply electrodes!)
(chorus)
Up in the sky, a symbol of yore
The pansy ass-eagle, he looks mighty sore
(the pansy-ass eagle, he looks mighty sore)
No enemies can peck and claw at our land
Without getting electrodes placed on their glands
Placed on their glands--after all it is war
The pansy-ass eagle, he looks mighty sore
Now why didn't you submit that beautiful piece of poetry to the contest? I'd plagerize it but the results are in.
Sue |
01.06.05 - 2:52 pm | #
Oh yeah, that's quaint. You like it quaint, don't you?
drew |
Homepage |
01.06.05 - 3:08 pm | #
Hey, I just heard the potential Inquisitor General say he's against torture! What is up with that? I feel totally duped and betrayed. I sure hope Dear Leader has second thoughts.
I don't care if the boy was instrumental in killing a bunch of minorities and slow-witted folks here in Texas, or if he paved the way for the fine work at Abu Ghraib and Gitmo, what has he done lately? The man cannot rest on his laurels.
I say either he comes out squarely in favor of torturing folks in the name of justice and freedom or we force him to drain his lizard on a subway's third rail. Friggin' traitor.
The Venerable Ed |
01.06.05 - 3:32 pm | #
He kept his fingers crossed behind his back.
Sue |
01.06.05 - 4:01 pm | #
I'm with Ed on this one! I need to see some committment to the cause here!
Snuffy |
01.06.05 - 4:03 pm | #
LOOK OUT
THE STONE TITS ARE LOOSE
THE CALICO CATS DID THIS, I'D SWEAR IT
Oh, almost forgot [ahem] "torture didn't take place, but it's still ok."
.
Grand Moff Texan |
Homepage |
01.06.05 - 4:04 pm | #
I dare say the General's loins are on fire with a vengeance at the start of this Year of our Lord 2005. I do hope he can impregnate the body politic with his righteous seeds of burning thought throughout the year of our Dear Leaders reprise.
Zappatero |
01.06.05 - 4:48 pm | #
The blue-footed boobies are just so cute! Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.
bethiris |
01.06.05 - 4:53 pm | #
The blue-footed boobies are just so cute! Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.
I get a lot of that. People really like my boobies for some reason. Never get any complements on my tentacles, though.
They forgot to give the new Inquisitor his copy of The Malleus Maleficarum, perhaps we should Fed Ex him a copy? That way he could carry out his divinely appointed duties to the letter.
omigod general you are so fucking funny i can't stop laughing
tinfoil hattie |
01.06.05 - 9:51 pm | #
Sir,
I'm concerned there may be a rush to judgement going on with the whole Andrea Yates thing.
If the Lord told her those children were possessed by Satan, how do we know they weren't, hmm? Were we there? I think not.
It could just be that she averted a much greater tragedy, that could have compromised the immortal souls of a whole lot more people.
Kind of like how we had to kill all those kids in Fallujah so they wouldn't grow up to be terrorists and attack America.
melior |
01.07.05 - 2:51 am | #
His official portrait is ready. Link
BOHICA |
Homepage |
01.07.05 - 12:22 pm | #
Ooooo...do I see 
Dear General,
Somewhere, Michael Powell's XXL head just exploded.
THE EAGLE'S SORE
Oh yeah, that's quaint. You like it quaint, don't you?
LOOK OUT
I dare say the General's loins are on fire with a vengeance at the start of this Year of our Lord 2005. I do hope he can impregnate the body politic with his righteous seeds of burning thought throughout the year of our Dear Leaders reprise.
General Sir:
Sir,
