Then he burns each stripe while reciting it's meaning.
You missed a golden opportunity to reference "the undivided state of Virginia" there. Just saying.
Painini |
06.23.05 - 3:05 am | #
General:
The first link in the letter ("your remarks") gave me a 404, six times in a row, even when I copied the link and opened a new browser window.
Other than that, I thoroughly enjoyed the truly authentic picture. Can we put that check in Tom Delay's hands, too? Seeing as how that Jack Abramoff feller is churning up ALLLLL kinds of problems for Delay, Ralph Reed, David Vitter, Bobby Jindal... oh, the list just keeps on growing... and so do the check trails...
I hate to sound like a nag, Oh General My General, but, um...
Told ya so, told ya so, tol' ya, tol' ya, tol' ya so so SOOOOOOO!!!
Remember that name, Jack Abramoff. He may finally be the card that brings this joke of a White House tumbling down... But, of course, none of it will actually TOUCH Dumbya... it's just gonna kill-off most of his staff. I hope that Scotty McClellan has to get a job at Dollar Tree.
Anntichrist S. Coulter |
06.23.05 - 3:16 am | #
General, I honestly don't know what it is about this particular missive... I only know that I love it truly, madly, deeply, slightly drunkenly, and totally heterosexually.
Annti, none of it actually has to "TOUCH Dumbya". You know he's not capable of standing unsupported.
Mentis Fugit |
Homepage |
06.23.05 - 4:35 am | #
General, sir:
But what about that eighth stripe?!
"Congress shall make no law respecting and establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof"? What kind of crap is that? This is, as you know, a Christian nation.
Perhaps we can ammend that one to "Congress shall make a law..."
Other than that, it sounds like a cool ceremony. Especially the beer part.
The Venerable Ed |
06.23.05 - 5:29 am | #
General, sir;
I'm thinking that VE has his priorities a bit skewed, re: "...the beer part." As any adhominemsexually oriented murkan knows it's the BEATING part that makes us all manly men. For the love of Pete; Ed, you sot, drop that PBR and grab your spatula.
democommie |
06.23.05 - 6:03 am | #
As we go bankrupt, it is nice to know that global warming is no problem IF WE STOP FLAG BURNERS!
Yes, the millions of unpatriotic Americans burning flags is heating up the atmosphere! The raging fires set across the country have cause world temps to rise 5 degrees!
Will this prohibition on flag burning include only those flags that are actually flags or any graphical representation of Old Glory whether it be on a suitcase of PBR, a 'family values' size jar of Slim Jims or the Ford F350 Eddie Bauer KKKristian KKKrusader. Howsabout all of those CK, RL and TH shirts with all the cutesy little embroidered flags on the pockets? I think we are talking not just a slippery but an extremely littered slope here.
democommie |
06.23.05 - 8:29 am | #
Of course, you should offer to pay for Rep. Cunningham's flight and hotel, and maybe toss in $900,000.00 or so for miscellaneous expenses.
chimpchange |
06.23.05 - 8:35 am | #
democommie,
Point taken. But I've got to ask, what's the point of working up a very manly sweat beating the crap out of people, if you can't rehash it over a few brewskies? Are you saying beatings are intrinsically motivating?
Huh, maybe I am a sot.
The Venerable Ed |
06.23.05 - 8:48 am | #
this has been cleared up.rep issa says duke is a stand up guy and somebody should check out that real estate agent...either way i can see duke going to work for an as yet un-named military contractor.
kingweasil |
06.23.05 - 10:40 am | #
only those flags that are actually flags or any graphical representation of Old Glory
DemoC raises a good point.
While they're at it, Duke and the Boys should put some real teeth in that law, and make it mandatory to genuflect to the flag (the real one, not one on somebody's chest). Then they would have cause to establish an enforcement system. AG Gonzales would have a field day!
MOJoe |
06.23.05 - 10:49 am | #
These are burning issues.
What of the little automobile flags tattered and torn but still indicative of superior patriotism?
What of the flags that hang limp and weary after a 24 hour a day, 365 a year ( rules are ya take the poor thing in at dusk and send it out at dawn, or burn them when not pristine ) ?
What of the timing of this Patriotic booster shot...4th of July....Bush approval ratings in perilous decline?
WHAT OF THOSE PEOPLE THAT WERE ON TOP OF THE WORLD TRADE 9/11? I never read bout them. Where the *&%* was King Kong? Slacker.
What of my always spectacular 4th party?
With sparklers in my hair and the fact that I am still stunning in bunting, the party will be a dud if it lacks the main event.
Oh, say can we see?
.
stinkeye |
06.23.05 - 11:21 am | #
Love the site, man. Link us and we'll link you back.
JB |
Homepage |
06.23.05 - 12:38 pm | #
Oh, and OP Yellow Eephant is spreading already!
JB |
Homepage |
06.23.05 - 12:39 pm | #
General sir.
Please be kind and help these ol'eyes o' mine, sure looked like
"bollocks" written on that cheque, surely I am deceived.
UK Brit |
06.23.05 - 12:52 pm | #
Don't you torch a symbol
Leave-take of metaphors
Just put down that signifier
Tell parables no more
The Bill of Rights is stupid
And makes us weak and weird
We are mocked by others
From Tibet on to Algiers
What's really kind of funny
Is that when soldiers die
They gave their last full measure
For freedoms now denied
(chorus)
Hey, Johnny! Hey slim!
Bullets, bombs and trip wires
Make all the lights go dim
Thank you for your bodies
That often fit right in a box
You were fighting for our flag
Real people are just props!
Our country is in trouble
Some folks we just can't stand
They would deny our right to
Smack them with our hands
Discipline is failing
Pagans at the gate
It's time to turn America
Into the One Great State
So Pledge your dear allegiance
Protest against our foes
But never protest anything
That steps upon our toes
(chorus)
Hey, Johnny! Hey slim!
Bullets, bombs and trip wires
Make all the lights go dim
Thank you for your bodies
That often fit right in a box
You were fighting for our flag
Real people are just props!
+++
(French troll in disquise/undercover prophylactic: go piss up an abstraction!)
After writing my earlier post I, of a sudden, started feeling queasy,my heart started pounding, and my hands started shaking and they are still shaking as I type.
A long ago event that happened when I was a small child came rushing back.
In Hue, Vietnam, on June 11, 1963, a Buddhist monk, Thich Quang Duc, poured gasoline over himself, sat in a Lotus position and proceed to self immolate. He was protesting the Diem administration's religious intolerance. The Diem administration concocted the story that Thich Quang Duc was a lunatic puppet of the Vietcong. Over a very short period of time, six other monks chose this incindiery rite to protest the government for it's persectution of Buddhism and then the war in Vietnam.
The monks did not consider this suicide but rather another way to reach enlightenment, to teach others about the trangient nature of earthly life, and to give themselves in the most visible way to the cause of freedom.
Read David Halberstam's account of what he saw when he accidently came across this scene.
As the people around the monk started screaming and weeping, Thich Quang Duc never uttered a sound.
The Linh-Pu Pagoda, of which Thich
Quang Du was a member, considers him a Bodhisattva. HIS HEART DID NOT BURN. They feel that with this act he transcended intolerance, fanatism, dictatorship, cupidity, hatred and discrimination which lie in the heart of man.
A flag? A flag? You've got to be kidding.
.
stinkeye |
06.23.05 - 1:50 pm | #
Beautiful, Stinkeye.
Those monks had (either physical or metaphorical or metaphysical) Little Soldiers the size of the Chrysler Building.
MJS, as always, I am in awe. Can't wait for my autographed album...
Anntichrist S. Coulter |
06.23.05 - 2:01 pm | #
Dear General:
I'm glad the Duke has enlightened us on the last thoughts of the 9/11 victims. It makes me imagine what it would have been like huddled amidst the twisted, charred metal and shattered glass, as twisted as a Liberal pinko atheist and as shattered as our innocence.
I'm sure, had I been amid the dying and dead as the Duke was on this fateful day I am sure I would have heard many of the sentiments he expressed about our flag.
Would I have heard the pleas and cries for help? No, I'd hear instead, "Tell..my... wife... I... I... Don't want any flags burned".
Would I have heard cries asking the almighty why? No, I am sure I would have heard, "If only I'd been alive long enough to see a flag burning amendment pass... it's my dying wish."
Yes, there would be no final farewells to loved ones, no reflections of one's life, merely good, godly, patriotic love of not burning flags. Surely they are American heroes and patriots, all.
I wanted to let you know that "Strike Force Brown Eye" sounds gay. I think "brown eye" refers to the anal opening.
May I suggest replacing it with "Strike Force Catcher?"
As in, the Republicans are PITCHING recruits at us and we're CATCHING them.
Ian |
Homepage |
06.23.05 - 3:26 pm | #
It's been suggested that if we can't burn the American flag, then perhaps we could burn the CONFEDERATE flag?
Ian |
Homepage |
06.23.05 - 3:28 pm | #
If someone spray paints an American flag on someone else's house or car or building, does it then become a crime for that person to remove it?
Ian |
Homepage |
06.23.05 - 3:35 pm | #
Ian, don't be silly.
Our corrupt, illegal government is murdering people all over the fucking place.
This flag-burning horseshit is the same fucking smoke-screen that it was in 1981 and 1984 and 1988 and 1992 and so on and so on.
PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN, and CERTAINLY pay no attention to that burning sensation in your rectal area.
Anntichrist S. Coulter |
06.23.05 - 3:40 pm | #
Do you remember that mailing of a few thousand Republican National Convention Delegates that was leaked? The one with a few thousand names, addresses, phone numbers and email addresses?
Does anyone want a copy?
Ian |
Homepage |
06.23.05 - 3:51 pm | #
Dear General,
Hell yeah! I'm sure the people caught on the upper floors of the towers were thinking, "Damn that congress to hell for causing my death by refusal to outlaw flag burning!"
Certainly, the flag provides us with magical protection from all ills.
Capability Jones |
06.23.05 - 4:21 pm | #
Ian - YES!
Gen. JC Christian, patriot |
Homepage |
06.23.05 - 4:22 pm | #
When I designed and stitched this thing together I didn't think anybody would be slice and dicing Ol' Glory and getting all holy about it.
Oh, and those incantations..."Ask not..blah blah" "Four score..."...and the moon walkin' one, just don't ring a Liberty Bell with this Daughter of the Revolution.
When was this ceremony conceived? I want answers or I'm going to get frickin' litigious. I've got the best copywright lawyers in all the 13 frickin' colonies.
I had a little thing with Davy Crockett and he is looking to skin some Tennessee ass, savy?
Don't tread on me.
.
betsy ross |
06.23.05 - 5:02 pm | #
OK, so how would I send a private email to the General?
The list is too big and multi-columned for posting here.
I COULD post the EMAIL list, though. It's only a couple hundred or so long.
Ian |
Homepage |
06.23.05 - 5:19 pm | #
Whoah! Check out the color graphics on this IRS Law Enforcement web site -they make Pepto Bismal look bland. The old red, white and blue must be a thing of the past.
Sue |
06.23.05 - 6:28 pm | #
My burning monks post was soul searing enough but in yet another stomach lurching irony we return to those hideous times.
Burn, Baby, Burn was never so disgustingly made real than on this day June 23, 1972.
It was on this date 33 years ago that Life Magazine published the infamous photograph of the screaming little Vietnamese girl running down the road while on unquenchable napalm fire.
We, as a nation, not just the choir of the likeminded here, should feel scalding shame that hideous acts of the same nature are being commited in our names thousands of miles away.
These crimes are not seeing the light of day. The antiseptic coverage of what is happening in Iraq and our other "operation freedom" invasions is unacceptable. Embedded, my ass.
Coopted and complicit is more like it.
Monks burning...children burning...our young deployed and redeployed unprotected troops burning...
....IT'S THE SAME AS IT EVER WAS
Better not let ol' Stinkeye near a flag and frisk her for matches. If ya don't then I'm not only willing to do the crime. I'll happily do the time.
.
.
stinkeye |
06.23.05 - 7:27 pm | #
This is probably out-of-date, but might be useful...
Rep. Duke Cunningham US House of Representatives is a true 'murican hero. He is an ex-fighter pilot like Dear Leader but did shot down 5 MIGS in 'Nam. He was a role model for Tom Cruise in the movie "Top Gun."
Maybe he is trying to do the Lord's work here, but some of his other actions are suspect. He may secretly be French. He lives on a yacht named Duke Stir provided for his use by another, younger man named Mitchell Wade who runs a company called MZM. Somehow, Mr. Wade, a good Republican trooper for the lord and his Servant to the Servants of the Lord, George W. Bush, also bought Rep Cunningham's former house in San Diego, a French city in southern California, for1.6 mil and sold it at a $700,000 loss. There are more details in the commie Los Angeles Times, which doesn't believe that anyone could lose money buying real estate in Southern California.
Fortunately, Rep Cunningham (that name is suspiciously close to cunninglingus, a French word for an un-Christian act) was able to steer some defense contracts to Mr. Wade in return, thereby keeping to the scripture according to the Republican Jesus.
Mike |
06.23.05 - 8:49 pm | #
Just wondering if some enterprising Scout has come up with a ceremony for disposing of Navy enlisted men's trousers, seeing as how the thirteen buttons represent the thirteen original colonies.
Ahh, sweet memories of youth ... Massachusetts, Vermont, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland ... never met a swabbie who could hold out all the way to Georgia.
Miss Moonbeam |
06.23.05 - 10:03 pm | #
Rumsfeld just explained why he doesn't want GOP kids in the military:
General, sir. Yesterday, whilst on duty, I saw an artsy treatment of the US flag as it flew in that famous WWII photograph, (where it's being raised by 4 soldiers fighting the wind on a hill over Iwo Jima or wherever it was).
That flag-raising scene in the photo was reproduced in a Veterans Day float in Maynerville Texas, only the soldiers were skeletons. A sign on the float read, "The futility of war". The crowd was not pleased.
On the rear of my regulation bicycle, a 3x5 US flag sticker, flies upside down, its edges burnt like it's engulfed in flames. Engulfed in flames. Did I make a pun, sir?
Artie |
06.23.05 - 11:26 pm | #
Venerable Ed;
I'm sorry if I confused you. I meant, of course, that the beating should supercede the brewskis not supplant them. One of the finest kinds of homonymsexual practices is to deliver a beating and then get so ripped that when you are arraigned you can plead innocent with a straight face.
Mike;
I checked out Randy "Duke" Cunningham's official website than I hit the unauthorized one. It seems that Randy was tooting his own horn a bit. For one thing he was gunning down MiG 17's (a formidable aircraft in their day--but obsolete by the time of the Vietnam War)with a Phantom F-4 (a two seater with about double the speed, double the effective service ceiling, advance avionics, air-air missiles and a pilot and weapons officer. Not to say it doesn't take balls but why pad the account. Go check out the unauthorized website--it's a hoot.
democommie |
06.23.05 - 11:49 pm | #
General, sir;
It seems that "Duke" has been doing a little damage control this morning. He said that maybe selling his house to a fella who does bidneth with the gubmint might notabeen the smartest move he ever made but that he hadn't done anything wrong. Sounds like another one of the Spintublican moments; quick! find Fatfuckarl Rove, he'll accuse the people who outed "Duke" traitors, that'll fix things up.
democommie |
06.24.05 - 1:03 pm | #
But wait there's more. Not only did the Duke sell his house at a tidy to profit to Wade but Josh Marshall says:
"Back in December 2003 Duke paid Douglas Powanda $2.55 million for the new manse in Rancho Santa Fe at 7094 Via Del Charro. Powanda is Duke's big campaign contributor from Peregrine Systems who's now waiting to go on trial for multibillion dollar securities fraud. They paid cash. And the new place comes in at 7,628 sq.ft.
Now, TPM Reader JS sent in these links to me which show that a couple weeks later someone else paid $2.25 million for the place down the road at 6849 Via Del Charro. But the records say that place only has 2936 sq.ft. (Satelite view of this location.)
A couple months earlier the place at 7002 Via Del Charro went for $3.45 million. And that place had only 5290 sq.ft. That's more than 2000 sq.ft. less than Duke's place."
That Duke Cunningham what a guy! If he gets booted out of congress he should make infomercials about how to make a killing in SoCal real estate.
Mark Garrity |
Homepage |
06.24.05 - 6:27 pm | #
Good Christian charity begins at home. In Rep Cunningham's case, apparently it ends there as well. The foundation's mission is "to promote the health care, education and spiritual development of children worldwide."
See, just like Neal, the saintly brother of our Dear Leader, he is concerned with the spriritual development of poor little children in places like Thailand, Cambodia, and Myanmar.
As Evelyn Waugh wrote, "Put out more flags," to which the pious Rep Cunninghams added, "but don't ya dare burn 'em."
Go check out the unauthorized website--it's a hoot. democommie
Agreed. These guys tootle their little horns too much. Probably because there's is nothing else in their pants.
Mike |
06.24.05 - 7:22 pm | #
General:
General, I honestly don't know what it is about this particular missive... I only know that I love it truly, madly, deeply, slightly drunkenly, and totally heterosexually.
General, sir:
As we go bankrupt, it is nice to know that global warming is no problem IF WE STOP FLAG BURNERS!
only those flags that are actually flags or any graphical representation of Old Glory
These are burning issues.
Love the site, man. Link us and we'll link you back.
General sir.
Cunningham is a total WANKER! 
FOR FREEDOMS NOW DENIED
Dear General:
Ian - YES!
"Duke"? What are we electing royalty now? What will George Bush, man of the people, think?
General,
Rep. Duke Cunningham US House of Representatives is a true 'murican hero. He is an ex-fighter pilot like Dear Leader but did shot down 5 MIGS in 'Nam. He was a role model for Tom Cruise in the movie "Top Gun."
General, sir. Yesterday, whilst on duty, I saw an artsy treatment of the US flag as it flew in that famous WWII photograph, (where it's being raised by 4 soldiers fighting the wind on a hill over Iwo Jima or wherever it was). 
But wait there's more. Not only did the Duke sell his house at a tidy to profit to Wade but Josh Marshall says: 
