Aaaah, but is that me drinking the joe or is the joe drinking me?
Personally, I like my coffee grounded. Everytime I drink perky coffee, I always develop a Yin for the Yang.
The Oracle |
09.21.05 - 5:05 am | #
Zen master quotes are okay. God's quotes would, of course, be better. But what I'd really like to see are quotes from Jeb Bush's mystical warrior friend Chang.
Can you think of a catchier ad campaign for a coffe company than "Unleash the Chang!"? Me neither. I want royalties if this thing takes off.
The Venerable Ed |
09.21.05 - 5:25 am | #
"I like my coffee black, just like my abominations."
"Zen master quotes are okay. God's quotes would, of course, be better. But what I'd really like to see are quotes from Jeb Bush's mystical warrior friend Chang."
I haven't laughed this hard before my second cup of coffee in a long time. Thanks, y'all. :D
Desi |
Homepage |
09.21.05 - 6:12 am | #
Mon general
The Zen master would say wha...?
America is sliding into babbling neuroticism and I blame Chimpy e.g. His chimpness on social security..."Because the — all which is on the table begins to address the big cost drivers (!!!). For example, how benefits are calculate, for example, is on the table;(!!!) whether or not benefits rise based upon wage increases or price increases. There's a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those — changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be (!!!) — or closer delivered to what has been promised. Does that make any sense to you? It's kind of muddled....." —
No shit Sherlock!
The only place I get any sense of logic is in satirical blogs!
corporal waldo |
Homepage |
09.21.05 - 6:21 am | #
General! Sir!
If Starbucks puts the words of the mystical warrior Chang on their cups, will they also be giving out commemorative golden swords?
Finally got around to visiting a few blogrolls, came across JG ... brilliant site, my friend. Keep up the great work.
Cheers from Canada,
LB
Library Bitch |
Homepage |
09.21.05 - 9:37 am | #
If you meet the Starbucks by the road, kill it.
Pete Scotterson |
09.21.05 - 9:44 am | #
Hmm, I didn't think I was drinking the official beverage of whispering sodomites. But then I check the front of the bag of grounds, and it's exposed before God and everyone-
Fine French Roast: Perfect for your French press!
Dangit, I thought that thing was some kind of marital aid. Well, looks like it's flagellation again for me...
CJ
Catholick Jackson |
Homepage |
09.21.05 - 10:01 am | #
I like #39, "Coffee helps me shit in the morning"-- Steve McQueen*
*did not actually utter quote, although he may have at some point, but with nobody there to record the moment
norbizness |
Homepage |
09.21.05 - 10:29 am | #
...general,theres nothing better on a sunday morning than a cup of starbucks and a fatty.i find speedy euphoria mixed with heady numbness to be my own zen.two of my favorite cup quotes are "the jew may be the next canary in the coal mine,but you my friends will be next" and the ever popular "i am a zionist",with honorable mention going to "george bush hates black people"...yours from grounds ero...
kingweasil |
09.21.05 - 11:12 am | #
king
"......So your lead to the local color
Serving coffee with a cruller
Dunking doesn't take a lot of skill
They've got an awful lot of coffee in Brazil...."
'Among the demonstrably false claims made the sponsors of the forum titled “Advances in the Treatment of Marijuana Users” at the Brazilian Federal University of São Paulo (Unifesp) were, according to the daily O Estado of São Paulo, that the use of marijuana causes “insomnia, nausea, muscular pain, anxiety, nervousness, sweat, loss of appetite and intense desire to use the drug....”
If there's one thing my research has shown is that I need to do more research.
What time and how do take yours?
As to quotes, I just quote the Raven when he quothes.
'
stinkeye |
09.21.05 - 1:21 pm | #
Thanks for the warning, Herr General! Trust those snivelling left coasters to indulge in unmanly, unchristian pusuits like zen and cafe fruitticino. Balance? I'll show you balance. Can of Lone Star in one hand, nickel-plated .45 in the other. Whacks on, whacks off...
dped |
09.21.05 - 1:24 pm | #
"That and $8.50 will get you a cup of coffee at Starbucks." -- Ann Coulter
MOJoe |
09.21.05 - 1:46 pm | #
my coffee is talking to me.
Anonymous |
09.21.05 - 1:52 pm | #
I'm so glad that I don't drink coffee.
But then, I do drink that green tea, so mebbe that's my contribution to the whole wet-nursing-China-as-they-take-over-the-country policy that the Bushes are so fond of promoting...
Anntichrist S. Coulter |
Homepage |
09.21.05 - 3:46 pm | #
So is mine.
It's saying "put some Irish in me, bitch, and then you might have a shot at understanding some of this shit you see on the news each night!"
I think it's got a point. Sober, the news makes little sense at all, and is frankly sorta depressing.
Buzzing, however, the news is actually rather entertaining, and even (god forbid) enlightening.
And full-out wasted, Christiane Amanpour begins to look foxy.
Wait a sec ... coffee speaking again. Just said "Dude, I said a bit of Irish, not the whole thing!"
Stinkeye: The first line of your song quote should be: "So you'll add to the local color"
Bet you learned that song years ago by listening to it. Did you?
When I learned songs that way, as a child, I made the same kind of mistake. Turned a line I didn't understand into a string of words that I knew, even if the result didn't really make sense.
Thanks for the good memories. I learned "They've Got An Awful Lot of Coffee in Brazil" the same way, as a child back in the 1940's.
Ulricii |
09.21.05 - 4:32 pm | #
gracious me!!! i recently saw a fine-looking manly man at a starbucks. when he put his cup down, i saw quite a bit of a white substance on his lips. moreover, he had a very contented and satisfied look on his face. he looked at me and grinned. i realized that i had come into contact with yet another latte-converted sodomite. all the names of starbucks beverages sound like italian fashion houses. i'm sticking with 7-up. oh no!!! that sounds too gay. what will i do?
glory, glory holey lube-job!!!
evan-genital |
09.21.05 - 8:47 pm | #
Might I humbly submit to Baylor Coffee some passages that might be topical:
"Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the cruel. " (1 Peter 2:1 That should wake up even the most fatigued student.
Leviticus reminder of the day:
Sex between: Father and step-daughter, Father and step-granddaughter, and/or Husband and mother-in-law. You will be burned.(17 Leviticus 20:14)
No joke, no sympathy, even you backwoods cousins of mine, y'hear now? Will Baylor step up and fill the breach?
Perhaps all those objectionable poetical scibblings could be sent over to Folger's (they sound pretty damned french). Their new slogan could be: "the best part of waking up is gay quotes on the cup" tm.
BTW, has Starbucks now become a hangout for the MSM, "french press", indeed!
democommie |
09.21.05 - 10:10 pm | #
How about some quotes that everyone can understand?
"Man who runs in front of car gets tired"
"Man who runs behind car gets exhausted"
"If wife puts husband in doghouse, not long before husband is in cathouse" (Not that I'm endorsing that behavior....wife putting husband in doghouse, indeed...)
Terry |
09.21.05 - 10:30 pm | #
They are preaching an unholy "lifestyle" of coffee beans and hot steaming liquids, and that is the devils work. I say be free of the demon's seed and be free of the lifestyle police and be free of the evangelistic coffee cups. It is time to start drinking only from god's own heavenly blessed cows, rulers of the universe and offerers of goodwill to all who come to them in supplication for their sweet sweet creamery butter.
"put some Irish in me, bitch, and then you might have a shot at understanding some of this shit you see on the news each night!"
could I get that on a mug in the jesus store , pleeze ?
Davius |
09.22.05 - 1:02 am | #
Wwll, my only regret about being an atheist is that I repressed it for so long. I surrendered my youth to the people I feared when I could have been out there enjoying a life unblighted by religious guilt. Don't make that mistake yourself. Life's too damn short.
cinnamondog |
09.22.05 - 10:49 am | #
AYYYYY-MENNNNNNNN, SISTER CINNY-BUNS!!!!!!
Have I told you lately that I love you?
Anntichrist S. Coulter |
Homepage |
09.22.05 - 2:01 pm | #
Annti, darling, how are you? With Rita headed for the Gulf coast, I hear it's raining in NOLA this morning. Hope things are okay, which I guess means 'stopping short of outright disaster', by you.
So, if the unprecedented severity and frequency of storms and natural disasters is caused in some part by global warming -- and I don't think that's in dispute; I even had my insurance agent tell me that, and she's no wild-eyed radical independent thinker, believe me -- then aren't we finally getting Republican weather in the US? So shouldn't we start rearranging the residents so that the Republicans live where they are most likely to experience the full effects of their weather most often? Line up the limos, boys, it's an in-vacuation happening!
cinnamondog |
09.23.05 - 9:15 am | #
If you want to warm a man for a day, then build him a fire.
If you want to warm a man for the rest of his life, then set him on fire.
Christ's Catamite |
09.23.05 - 4:23 pm | #
I like my coffee black, just like my abominations.
Aaaah, but is that me drinking the joe or is the joe drinking me?
Zen master quotes are okay. God's quotes would, of course, be better. But what I'd really like to see are quotes from Jeb Bush's mystical warrior friend Chang. 
"I like my coffee black, just like my abominations."
Mon general
General! Sir!
Haven't laughed that hard in awhile either.
Hmm, I didn't think I was drinking the official beverage of whispering sodomites. But then I check the front of the bag of grounds, and it's exposed before God and everyone-
I like #39, "Coffee helps me shit in the morning"-- Steve McQueen*
king
"That and $8.50 will get you a cup of coffee at Starbucks." -- Ann Coulter
I'm so glad that I don't drink coffee.
Stinkeye: The first line of your song quote should be: "So you'll add to the local color"
gracious me!!! i recently saw a fine-looking manly man at a starbucks. when he put his cup down, i saw quite a bit of a white substance on his lips. moreover, he had a very contented and satisfied look on his face. he looked at me and grinned. i realized that i had come into contact with yet another latte-converted sodomite. all the names of starbucks beverages sound like italian fashion houses. i'm sticking with 7-up. oh no!!! that sounds too gay. what will i do? 
Might I humbly submit to Baylor Coffee some passages that might be topical:
That should wake up even the most fatigued student.
How about some quotes that everyone can understand? 
They are preaching an unholy "lifestyle" of coffee beans and hot steaming liquids, and that is the devils work. I say be free of the demon's seed and be free of the lifestyle police and be free of the evangelistic coffee cups. It is time to start drinking only from god's own heavenly blessed cows, rulers of the universe and offerers of goodwill to all who come to them in supplication for their sweet sweet creamery butter.
"put some Irish in me, bitch, and then you might have a shot at understanding some of this shit you see on the news each night!"
Annti, darling, how are you? With Rita headed for the Gulf coast, I hear it's raining in NOLA this morning. Hope things are okay, which I guess means 'stopping short of outright disaster', by you.
If you want to warm a man for a day, then build him a fire.
