Can my specify that my donation is used entirely for disciplining the barbers who shave people's beards?
thehim |
Homepage |
09.22.05 - 12:58 am | #
Mon General
This Khomeini centre...it is like an Iraqi wal mart, non?
Get your bondage clothes and wife discipline tools at 10% discount this weekend only!
And don't forget our specials on AK'S!
The Khomeini centre - for all your religious fanatic needs!
corporal waldo |
Homepage |
09.22.05 - 1:54 am | #
damn,
abdul.what's wrong with you dude?If only this boy is brought to think women are equal to men...alas..how many young boy like him will learn to think it's ok to kick women?
"Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the husbands.Remember all men would be tyrants if they could" - Abigail Adams
Kathy |
09.22.05 - 1:59 am | #
General:
In holy supplication, I beseech thee for your divine forgiveness!!!
For I have tried to make the obnoxious chickenhawks, particularly the one known as Pamela Shrugs, see the error of their ways and serve our holy cause in Iraq, helping our dear Rummy create an Islamic Republic that will last forever.
BUT I HAVE FAILED!!!!!
I have failed because the chickenhawk species has no shame. No honor. No patriotism.
Does this mean I should we stop trying. Should we collectively abandon Operation Yellow Elephant?
I say thee NAY!
We should keep fighting this fight. I am guided by the words of the Holy Book. "The path of the righteous man is beset by the inequities of the selfish and the tyrannies of evil men. Yadda yadda. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengence and furious anger those who will poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengence upon thee!"
So give us strength as we continue in our task to have our Republican compadres serve our holy cause in the desert.
Even the batshit crazy ones like Pamela.
Begging your forgiveness,
Bart
Bartholemew Throckmorton IV |
09.22.05 - 5:56 am | #
Not acheive, as spelled in your Rummy ad. The word is spelled thusly: achieve. Unless Bush is doing the spelling or the saying of it, in which case he thinks he's sneezing.
O, I crack myself up.
jazmine |
09.22.05 - 6:12 am | #
...general,this is good!i see our secretary of defense has perfected his vulcan mind probe technique on little brown heathens...
kingweasil |
09.22.05 - 7:08 am | #
Sure, that's a great cause and all, but I want to be sure my money goes exactly where I want it to go -- into the pockets of crooked politicians.
If any said politicians are out there reading this blog, I've got a Crossman 760 pellet gun from the mid '70s that can be yours for half a million. A bargain at twice the price. And I'll take twice the price if you're feeling generous.
The Venerable Ed |
09.22.05 - 8:22 am | #
Everyone has to have a dream. You go, Abdul!
cosmic grappler |
Homepage |
09.22.05 - 8:22 am | #
Ahh, the joys of Americans giving "freedom" to a culture whose history the Americans do not at all understand, or care to pay any attention to. Exemplified in the constitution, no doubt, under which women may wind up less free than they were under Saddam.
Wow. They did all that ... to achieve that.
Thanks, George!!! We're #1! We're #1! We're ...
... we just won't tell him which list it actually is that we're #1 on.
Peace, General.
- G the Library Bitch
Library Bitch |
Homepage |
09.22.05 - 11:02 am | #
Wonder how long it will take to set up the female circumcision centers?? Is some of the missing billion being funneled into such clinics? Perhaps we can begin to monitor the effectiveness of this minor surgery. Are women more tranquil and at peace after being ridded of sexual desire? Perhaps they become less assertive and also lose desire to enter men's fields of endeavor; science, politics, history...any of the "thinking" subjects. It will be a promising and exciting study!
leslie covington |
09.22.05 - 12:20 pm | #
General
Donald Rumsfeld is no pinhead. Like Jeeves, he eats oceans of fish which are steroids for the basal ganglia and other gray matter that I know nothing about. So, as the Sec. of War contemplated his future he came up with 'not so rosy' and 'these Depends are so not working' and 'Cheney told me that he won't hire me at Halliburton, the prick'. From deep in his fish engorged cerebellum he heard some pirhanas and baracudas yell, "Turn that frown upside down, Loser. Just go down to Abu Grahib for Tots and grab an Ali or Said out of one of the cages. Can you say Photo Op? Now here's the beauty part....
From the WSJ,...'overwhelmingly, the legacy preference benefits whites. Now, calls to abandon the legacy preference are on the rise from minority groups and politicians who see it as a perpetuation of class distinction and white advantage.'
Hello!?! Do I hear the pitter patter of naked men's feet at Bohemian Grove? That's right. Little Sinbad will be shipped, cage and all, to that piney bower of power. The Masters of the Universe will be able to say, 'We certainly are not exclusionary. Why, look at little Mohammed, he's as brown as a berry.'
Then we make him do our laundry just as a woman should. With the right amount disipline he is now as obedient as too few women are. He is the target just like that FemNazi Roe vs Wade when we play naked PaintBall, etc.'
Then as soon as the photo op is over it's back into the cage for Musef. So what if he hates white men and all women. He'll get over it.
Game, set, match, exults the Purveyor of Death and Misery. All the ruthless white rulers of the world will have to kiss my ass for the great publicity I afford them. Yeah right, likes it's a real secret society. Now, who wants to blow me so I'll sit on your Board of Directors?
`
stinkeye |
09.22.05 - 12:34 pm | #
that Iraqi woman best view on the Iraqis constitution:
"This one is amusing because in the first two parts of the article, foreign troops are forbidden and then in the third, they’re kind of allowed… well sometimes- when the puppets deem it necessary (to keep them in power)."
kathy |
09.22.05 - 12:41 pm | #
OT but interesting: oh General, I am trying desparately to laugh at the "day by day" comic strip pushed by our Cardinal Reynolds on his Instapundit website, but I do not find it funny. Must be a Frenchness.
Speaking of foreign enemy's, the limeys at the Economist have attacked our best conservative organ. On page 34 of the current issue, in an article on the relative (it makes a loss, but Rupert Murdoch shells out big bucks for it) success of the Weekly Standard, the limeys have the following to say about our dearly beloved NRO:
"Another reason is a relative decline in the intellectual feistiness of the main conservative organ, the National Review, some of whose articles read as if they were dictated by Tom Delay's office."
Nothing like that good old timey religion, how in gods name did we allow the leftist to outlaw the rule of thumb here in gods chosen country?
Pvt Denial |
Homepage |
09.22.05 - 1:52 pm | #
Methinks that perhaps my next "rescue mission" should be in Iraq, re-educating the young ones, since the ones who've reached my age are probably hopeless by now... unless they'll let me bring my whips & lashes as carry-on luggage...
If only I could drive there, I'd be able to chain-smoke the whole way!
And yes, bless this child's heart, somebody needs to put a boot in his young ass. Right after I get finished putting a steel-toed boot into the ass of the morons who twisted his mind like this...
Anntichrist S. Coulter |
Homepage |
09.22.05 - 1:59 pm | #
Monsignore JC Chrisitian Generalite,
What does any of this have to do with our Brave Soldiers trading gory dead people photos for PORN?
Does Rummy Own the Server where our Blue-Balled Troops are downloading said porn? Who are his advertisers? How many hits is He getting per day? What is the most popular subject matter for our True Warriors? (Man-on-man, girl-on-girl, girl-on-beast, beast-on-Santorum, Insect-on-Delay) Should WE get in on this action? Can WE, as the truest Patriots of all, afford NOT TO?
I am torn (figuratively), so please help.
The Buck-Private Jesus
stupidsexyjesus |
09.22.05 - 2:04 pm | #
Imagine Fashion Week in Baghdad ... the entire show will take about 20 minutes.
Blogenfreude |
09.22.05 - 2:46 pm | #
Maybe the American Experiment is no longer worth trying to change...Damn these moments of weakness.
Ugh, its like knowing there is no god, but also knowing no religious fanatic will ever realize that, cause when they die, they are just dead, end of story. No "divine" justice for a practical bastard like me.
Parallels with knowing that America under the neo-cons is doomed to eat itself from within and fall to its cancerlike lust for wealth and control. The Rich will enjoy their cake as they plow into it with all the restraint of starving rottweiler. And they will have a good old time -at least for a little while. Then it will all be used up, in an orgy of the total opposite of conservatism that the republican party has become.
But by the time we get there, and the fools wake up from their stupor, looking around redfaced, like Germans in the fifties, Having to accept not only their defeat, but having been fooled so completely by such a shallow, hollow and utterly TRANSPARENT pack of lies.
They want so desperately to believe they are right so they can somehow make an extra buck or two and escape any sense of responsibility. They are wrong. And by despoiling this greatest of ideals, the thought of being American, and being Free- they fight to not only imprison us= but eventually themselves.
So- gotta shake off this apathetic moment and get back in there, fighting the battle against ignorance, Day in Day out.
Although the ignorant may suspect that Rummy is fondling that young boy's head as if he were a new convert amongst the Sodomites, I know what is going on.
Der Rumsfeld is merely practicing the ancient art of Phrenology. Certainly, the young boy's personality traits can deduced through the form of the skull.
Capability Jones |
09.22.05 - 4:25 pm | #
General!
I might need to check into that center when it is completed.
I must confess, my first thought at reading this is "Wait! I'm an Immodest Woman!".
After praying through the shame, the wanton thoughts, and the stain of sin, I realize that it was just a French moment. Maybe when the center is open, as I said, I can go there for reeducation. In the meantime, how does ofjoshua cope with any such moments of weakness? Or do you have such a vital government agency located in your headquarters town?
Repentently,
A Libertine Librarian
Willow Anne |
09.22.05 - 4:45 pm | #
That's in no way related to Jerry's kids is it? I don't think Mr. Lewis would like the idea of promoting Sharia law.
Agi T. Prop |
Homepage |
09.22.05 - 6:00 pm | #
Did I see this very picture in The Exorcism of Emily Rose? Yes, it was our Republican Jesus who said, Hurricanes didn't work so I sent George W. Bush to cure your problem with the poor, city by city, here and in Iraq. Tsunami high, yeah baby!
Mike |
09.22.05 - 6:20 pm | #
The kid makes a good point. Freeze Frame: Paris Hilton. Freeze Frame: Panama City--Spring Break. Shame Shame Shame.
Mickey McDougell |
09.22.05 - 7:29 pm | #
Leslie C.,
Clitoridectomy does not eliminate sexual desire, only the means of gratifying it. (That's even worse, isn't it?)
Lust seems to be a compound product of testosterone produced by the ovaries and pancreas, and "psychology" - whatever that is.
No doubt, though, it short circuits reinforcement of same.
Sorry to get anatomical on everyone's case...
The General rules!
Chimera |
09.22.05 - 7:56 pm | #
Whenever Mrs Gloryhole makes too much racket whilst baking the dinner, I always wait to punish her until after she washes the dishes.
The pans are also cool by then.
Poor Abdul...how will he ever learn these lessons without electricity for his family's range?
Please give, so Rummy can restore the power grid.
Think of the (male) children.
the Rev Jerry Gloryhole |
09.22.05 - 8:36 pm | #
When is that silly Rumskull gonna realize that you can't just aimlessly twist off a boy's head. You have to get your elbows under it and give it a straight-up pop.
Channelling Pat Robertson,
the Rev Jerry Gloryhole |
09.23.05 - 8:23 am | #
I hear our own Abu Gonzales is setting up an American branch to deal with adult pornography.
parsec |
09.23.05 - 3:30 pm | #
True, parsec --- 8 full-time agents will be diverted from the War On Terra to chase adults who purchase pornography in legal retail outlets.
Welcome to Amerikkka.
(Yeah, like the klan don't use porn... well, at least not in PUBLIC... depending on your definition of "obscene"...)
Anntichrist S. Coulter |
Homepage |
09.25.05 - 12:02 am | #
Can my specify that my donation is used entirely for disciplining the barbers who shave people's beards?
Mon General
damn,
General:
Not acheive, as spelled in your Rummy ad. The word is spelled thusly: achieve. Unless Bush is doing the spelling or the saying of it, in which case he thinks he's sneezing. 
Everyone has to have a dream. You go, Abdul!
Ahh, the joys of Americans giving "freedom" to a culture whose history the Americans do not at all understand, or care to pay any attention to. Exemplified in the constitution, no doubt, under which women may wind up less free than they were under Saddam.
Wonder how long it will take to set up the female circumcision centers?? Is some of the missing billion being funneled into such clinics? Perhaps we can begin to monitor the effectiveness of this minor surgery. Are women more tranquil and at peace after being ridded of sexual desire? Perhaps they become less assertive and also lose desire to enter men's fields of endeavor; science, politics, history...any of the "thinking" subjects. It will be a promising and exciting study!
General
Nothing like that good old timey religion, how in gods name did we allow the leftist to outlaw the rule of thumb here in gods chosen country?
Methinks that perhaps my next "rescue mission" should be in Iraq, re-educating the young ones, since the ones who've reached my age are probably hopeless by now... unless they'll let me bring my whips & lashes as carry-on luggage...
Imagine Fashion Week in Baghdad ... the entire show will take about 20 minutes.
Maybe the American Experiment is no longer worth trying to change...Damn these moments of weakness. 
Henny Youngman to Donald Rumsfeld:
General!
That's in no way related to Jerry's kids is it? I don't think Mr. Lewis would like the idea of promoting Sharia law.
Did I see this very picture in The Exorcism of Emily Rose? Yes, it was our Republican Jesus who said, Hurricanes didn't work so I sent George W. Bush to cure your problem with the poor, city by city, here and in Iraq. Tsunami high, yeah baby!
Leslie C.,
Heh. Fruits of freedom.
Whenever Mrs Gloryhole makes too much racket whilst baking the dinner, I always wait to punish her until after she washes the dishes.
When is that silly Rumskull gonna realize that you can't just aimlessly twist off a boy's head. You have to get your elbows under it and give it a straight-up pop.
