How many plants produce a beautiful flower that's fun to play with when it's ripe, and edible leaves that go well in salads? Anyone who messes with a dandelion messes with me.
anne johnson |
Homepage |
11.28.06 - 9:34 pm | #
You laugh, but there could be a HUGE potential market out there for dressed-up genocidal children's books, a potential market that's currently going largely unfulfilled.
Skeptical-Hog |
11.28.06 - 9:45 pm | #
Sir, I must mention that the good Judge's book is also lacking in good Christian content. No wonder you had to ultimately pan it.
SeattleDan |
Homepage |
11.28.06 - 9:52 pm | #
Dandelions are hardy, sturdy, adn extremely productive. They've even learned to outwit a lawnmower! But they are colorful... and we can't have that.
Miss Cellania |
Homepage |
11.28.06 - 9:58 pm | #
General Sir,
I'm from a family of Kudzu that snuck into America out of Europe via Canada back in the 1940s. Raised, as I was, a weed among the Flowers in the Hot House, I watched the Dandelion families who lived near get plucked out by the roots and tossed in the dumpster; and I thanked the Master Gardener for passing us by -- quiet gratitude, of course, so as not to draw His attention.
My distant Uncle is responsible for the much-quoted words:
"First, they came for the Crabgrass, and I did not speak out, because I was not a Crabgrass..."
You probably know the rest.
hel |
11.28.06 - 10:23 pm | #
Thanks for your review, it was really funny... and informative too!
Signed,
The American Corrupt Grower's Association, The Mexican government, The American Banks That Profit from Illegal Immigration Assocation, Affiliated Corrupt Politicians That Take Money from the Foregoing, and The Backers of George Bush
I like your review very much. I hear that some people are actually paid to review these "books". If so, you would be perfect for such a position. You phrase "final solution" is especially poetic. Who could resist such an ideal? We all like solutions, and a final one is best of all.
Private Partz |
Homepage |
11.28.06 - 10:54 pm | #
General, sir,
What's this about Dandy Lions?
I thought they were Kings of the Jungle, not Queens of the Jungle?
The Oracle |
11.28.06 - 11:06 pm | #
Sir, General, Sir!!!
I was just over at Amazon in order to tell them just how usefull your review was to me. Then, I went back, in order to do the same for Mr. Cohen, only to discover that your review seems to have vanished! Is it just me or could this be true. Please tell me that this is just some quirk of my browser.
aangus |
Homepage |
11.28.06 - 11:08 pm | #
It seems aangus is right, Sir. Your review seems to have disappeared. But the good judge has taken the liberty of reviewing himself (is this what is meant by judicial review?):
13 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
Brief Description of Book, November 6, 2006
Reviewer: John H. Wilson (New York City) - See all my reviews
In the tradition of children's books that can be enjoyed by adults and children alike, John H. Wilson's Hot House Flowers is an atypical tale about loyalty to and defense of one's country against illegal immigration. Wilson offers perspective on this national issue in a unique format, teaching children about patriotism in a book that is also meaningful for adults.
Using the metaphor of flowers outside a greenhouse wanting to join those inside, Hot House Flowers also possesses a religious subtext with which Christian parents will identify. With carefully chosen language and a colorful assortment of illustrations by Ukranian-born artist Marina Tsesarskaya, Wilson emphasizes that the diversity on which America prides itself must be regulated and protected from within in order to preserve our national character.
Readers concerned about the effects of unregulated immigration on the daily lives of American citizens and who support the active defense of their country will find the lessons in Hot House Flowers potent and potable for minds young and old.
SeattleDan |
Homepage |
11.28.06 - 11:22 pm | #
"...colorful assortment of illustrations by Ukranian-born artist Marina Tsesarskaya..."
Sounds like she might be a DANDELION.
exal |
11.28.06 - 11:44 pm | #
How bout we cut and paste our own reviews?
Only if acceptable to you sir!
greg |
11.29.06 - 12:28 am | #
Sorry general..I did it
greg |
11.29.06 - 12:33 am | #
greg | 11.29.06 - 12:33 am
Sir, by golly, sir!:
He did!
aangus |
Homepage |
11.29.06 - 12:46 am | #
Oh will someone PLEASE put in some proper keywords such as 'Genocide', 'Final Solution'
Heck, even Bigotry will do!
What's there now, 'Family', 'Family Values', 'Virtue', 'Parable' and 'Law Abiding' is making me retch!
I'd do it myself but I quit Amazon in protest um... at The General's 2nd-to-last removed review I believe; and I don't want to have to login after writing them a philippic missive on how I'll never buy a single thing from them ever again
...and I buy a LOT of books! Monthly.
BTW, alibris.com is a great place to buy books, esp. rare & out-of-print but alas, no wish list.
Emmy |
11.29.06 - 1:03 am | #
Try abebooks.com, Emmy. You can leave a want list there. And I'm not saying that because my store lists books there and at biblio.com and don't charge booksellers nearly as much for those services as alibris. Just observing.
SeattleDan |
Homepage |
11.29.06 - 1:10 am | #
General Suh, I found this French, atheistic, homosexual review of the Judge's book: "Another one of those xenophobic books accept this time it is disgustingly made for children. The hugely mistaken lesson coming out of this childrens book: blame undocumented workers for all the misery in the world. Pure racism for sale."
Unfortunately, my inner Frenchman committed treason and forced me to click on the "Yes," button that I found this review helpful. My innerFrenchman did the same with the one star reviews by someone named Greg Patriot.
Oh, Suh, the shame of my treasonous inner Frenchman. I can only find solace in reading your postings and news of the wonderful friendship blossoming between Paris Hilton and Britteny Spears.
Ghost of Adolph Rupp |
11.29.06 - 1:14 am | #
And all of a sudden, your review appears again.
He's up, he's down, he's up, he's down. Sort of like an old Warner Bros. cartoon.
SeattleDan |
Homepage |
11.29.06 - 1:48 am | #
My Lord, you're a frackin' genius.
Meteor Blades |
11.29.06 - 1:48 am | #
Well, I added some tags such as bigotry and intolerance to my review. We'll see if it gets posted.
I really do love dandelions. They are generous flowers... probably helped by the number of seedpods I've blown free! ;^) Besides, I'm not allergic to them!
A judge ought to know better than to encourage bigotry by suggesting that the unwanted be killed and tossed on the trash-heap.
Thank you for the info, Seattle Dan! My next order I will check your catalogue, if online, first before I go to abebooks.com.
Do they do any coupons, would you happen to know?
One of your specialties is True Crime, eh? Right now I'm researching the '50's New Zealand murder case (matricide) of Pauline Parker and her erstwhile lesbian lover, Juliet Hulme; along with the Villisca, Iowa Axe Murder house.
email specified above
Oh, and would you have anything on the Mad Butcher of Kingsbury Run (Cleveland)?
Oh, and thank YOU kindly also, Carrolly! :D
Emmy |
11.29.06 - 3:31 am | #
Now who are the beautiful flowers going to blame when root rot sets in? They're being kind of short-sighted if you ask me.
The Venerable Ed |
11.29.06 - 5:22 am | #
Polish exchange student visits America and discovers how wholesome and holy we are. Some of us haven't had sex in 17 years just to prove it....
The Rear Admiral |
Homepage |
11.29.06 - 6:55 am | #
My head swims with final solutions, General, suggested by your fine review...
Such a waste, yanking undesireables up by the root (dandelions are tenacious!) and tossing them in the dumpster, or ferrying them to the border.
Dandelions are delicious!
And so may be Mexicans, or terrorists! How much more effective if we, instead of tossing them in Gitmo; grilled them as short ribs, broiled their racks, smoked them as hams!
This would coincidentally alleviate the stress you "scientists" claim we flowers of God put on the planet.
Also reducing our tax burden.
Praise the Lord and pass the chitlins;
the Rev Jerry Gloryhole |
11.29.06 - 8:50 am | #
Alas General Sir!
I experienced such a surge of excitement and curiosity ven I read your delightful review, zat I knew I must learn more about ze publisher. To my dissapointment I found it is not a Regnery Jr outfit. It is a vanity publisher called BookSurge. I am sure in good time some right reverand publisher vill buy all titles, n'est ce pas?
Mme. S. |
11.29.06 - 9:34 am | #
One dandelion's journey . . .
Jose Antonio Gutierrez, the second US marine to die in Iraq, grew up on the streets of Guatemala City. He achieved his dream of receiving American citizenship but only in death.
At the age of 22, Jose Antonio decided to make the journey of his life . . . he said goodbye to his sister Engracia and to his friends at Casa Allianza and he took the roads and the rails north to the United States, 4,000 kilometres away.
Across the steaming valleys and the mountains and the dry deserts he went, hitching lifts and jumping freight trains until he became one of the "wetbacks" and crossed the Rio Grande into the US.
He went to high school and he studied hard. What he wanted most of all was American citizenship . . .
He decided eventually to sign up with the US Marine Corps, knowing that military service would help his citizenship application.
Then, on New Year's Eve last, he called his sister in Guatemala City.
He told her he was going to war. As Engracia remembers it, this is what he said: "Take good care of yourself. I'm going to war. Pray to God a lot for me. God willing, I'll return alive."
Last week, with the grand attack on Iraq in its opening hours, Jose Antonio was with his unit in the port of Umm Qasr when he was struck in the chest by a high velocity bullet.
Loved your comments and those of some others. Found this one about a "dandelion"...
"Hmmm. perhaps the good judge could extend the benefits of american citizenship to the sister of one of the first servicemen killed in Iraq --Lance Cpl. Jose Gutierrez, 22. Lance corporal Gutierrez was an illegal alien from age 14 when he scrambled accross the border, until he was 18 and received residency.
its a shame this dandelion was plucked by our enemies."
willis |
11.29.06 - 10:16 am | #
Been there, done that.
In the 1938 German book "Der Giftpilz," {"The poisonous Mushroom"), which warns German boys and girls about the dangerous Jew.
The more things change...
donescobar |
11.29.06 - 10:40 am | #
Does zis mastair carry ze wheep et call himself Simon LeGree?
actor212 |
Homepage |
11.29.06 - 11:44 am | #
General Suh,
More bad news, the homosexual French over at Firedoglake have linked to this post. They are just like the radio guy with the Jewish sounding name, they think you're funny Suh! They don't understand that you are not funny. You are serious!
Also Suh, the atheists are reporting that Sen. Bill Frist will not run for President in 2008. I am of course very disappointed. I think I will have to support Duncan Hunter now, which is such a disappointment. Frist struck me as much more likely to reinstitute slavery of the non-whites. Other than that error though, Duncan seems ok.
Ghost of Adolph Rupp |
11.29.06 - 11:44 am | #
I am curious as to how obvious his points are. Does he actually say what the book is about? Are the children aware?
Toad734 |
Homepage |
11.29.06 - 11:45 am | #
General,
Perhaps the judge is on to something. Dandelions are weeds, as are Mexicans. So since we have a spray to eliminate weeds from our walkways and gardens, we should therefore have a spray to eliminate Mexicans from our country. Even better, we can trick the Mexicans into thinking they're taking a shower in a large public shower room and administer the spray through the shower nozzels. Brilliant!
Just a thought to help keep our country a nice monotone.
Five of Diamonds |
11.29.06 - 11:53 am | #
I wrote a review of my own and posted it. I think it corrects Mr. Wilson's failed analogy. I will repaste it here for everyones convenience:
A failed analogy; We are ALL roses
The analogy in this book is fatally flawed even on the surface. Observe:
Humans are all the same race; the same kind of flower. The different skin colors and body features would analogize to different petal colors of the same flower species, NOT different flower species alltogether.
The different human races would more properly analogize to different color roses (yellow, red, white, etc) rather than a mix of geraniums and dandelions. In this way, we can see that having a garden with many different colored roses is much prettier than a rose garden with only one color. Furthermore, different color roses dont starve or stunt off the others. Rather, they compliment each-other.
I imagine that Mr. Wilson would act like the Queen of Hearts in his own backyard, insisting that all his roses be red, and dishing out harsh penalties for those who would allow white roses in his garden. Would Mr. Wilson employ buckets of red paint or garden shears to attain the uniformity in rose color that he demands? Perhaps a combination of the two? But the Queen of Hearts was well known to be mad in Lewis Carroll's famous tale.
I dont want a garden where roses of different colors are forbidden. Even the most vibrant red rose petals will bore a person eventually if no other rose color is to be found in the garden.
Finally, we can examine the reason for Mr. Wilson's analogy error. Why does he equate different human races with wholly different species of plants, rather than correctly equating them with mere different variations of the same plant? Because, to Mr. Wilson, those humans who are different to him are not humans at all. To Mr. Wilson, the immigrant humans are sub-human, less than human, and not to be equated in value with his own kind. Mr. Wilson simply MUST equate different humans as a different species alltogether in order to justify his xenophobic sentiments.
When I see different faces, I see different colored roses. They all smell sweet, and they all bloom beautifully. But when Mr. Wilson sees different faces, he sees weeds. To Mr. Wilson, only the red roses are truly roses, every other shade is just a weed.
The answer is simple: Open borders, open gardens, opened eyes, and opened minds.
Aaron Kinney |
Homepage |
11.29.06 - 1:46 pm | #
Root rot is not a problem for GOD's heterosexual plants
Don't I and all the beautiful flowers (Foleyage?) know it. Which is exactly why they'll need a lesser species of flower to scapegoat when it happens.
The Venerable Ed |
11.29.06 - 2:36 pm | #
For a second there I thought this book was more Lesbian fiction. Whew, good thing it is only good old fashioned family values bigotry instead.
j swift |
11.29.06 - 3:02 pm | #
A childrens' book that is a manual for racial separatism?
This man is a fucking judge?!
Fade |
Homepage |
11.29.06 - 3:10 pm | #
Why the hell did he use flowers? Why not tell the story using real people? Just tell how they rounded up the people they didn't like and disposed of them. Oh wait, that nonfiction story that was already written, wasn't it?
pissed off patricia |
Homepage |
11.29.06 - 3:11 pm | #
First I went to see Endicott. I was making small talk along the lines of had Colbert ever been in his greenhouse, maybe last night around midnight? Dude just hauls off and slaps me across the face! Naturally, I slapped him back. Then he was all, I could have had you shot if this was fifty years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Pops. What do you think I am? A Negro? Go back to your epiphytics. I’m outta here. Thanks for the lemonade, you prick.
Then I went to see Violet Venable. What was I thinking? We’re in her fucking terrarium and she starts with her Sebastian this and Sebastian that, boo, hoo, hoo. Like I’m supposed to care about her gay son getting killed last summer??? I don’t think so! Hey, Vi, you need that lobotomy a lot more than Catherine. I’m outta here, you old bat.
Then I went over to the Sternwood place. Norris gave me a real drink as I sat down in the General’s hothouse. At least he was hip to the whole nasty orchid thing. . Their flesh is too much like the flesh of men. Their perfume has a rotten sweetness of corruption. Crap, I forgot, Sternwood’s in a wheelchair. This is awkward sir, but by any chance are your Bush Twin-like daughters around? I’d like shake it with someone, you know, someone who can actually dance. Hey, he'd been real nice to me but he was a little harsh in his assessment of the hubba hubba sisters. Look at it this way, General. If we go to the concert http://www.hothouseflowers.com/news.asp, for once they’ll have alibis for whatever the fuzz try to pin on them....
What? What’s that? You all talking about a book? Sheeit! I’m not even finished with the one about gay penguins.
`
stinkeye |
11.29.06 - 3:28 pm | #
anne johnson | Homepage | 11.28.06 - 9:34 pm | #
Don't stop there.
Take young flowers ( better earlier in the season ) nip them near the top, dip in tempura, deep fry and sprinkle with icing sugar.
Awesome eats. Freak out your friends.
Echo |
11.29.06 - 4:02 pm | #
Emmy, you may want to find Peter Jackson's "Heavenly Creatures" on DVD if you haven't already.
Mentis Fugit |
11.29.06 - 4:57 pm | #
The story left untold by the judge is that the gardener secretly wanted the dandelions there. He could use them to bulk up at minimal expense the bunches of flowers he sold through Wal-Mart. The hothouse flowers objected that they were being cheapened by the presence of the dandelions, and the gardener promised to get tough on weeds, but he knew that if he actually did anything his product would be priced out of its most profitable market. So he talked a lot about the fork and the hoe and herbicides, but the fork would be broken or the hoe lent to the neighbours or the weedkiller lost in transit. The hothouse flowers blamed the dandelions for all this, and the gardener smiled secretly to himself as he banked another cheque.
Mentis Fugit |
Homepage |
11.29.06 - 5:07 pm | #
Mme. Stinkeye:
Darling, you know that, aside from Darla, you are the only woman for whom I care a fig. However, I must, at the risk of arousing your ire (which, truth to tell, is one of your most endearing traits), issue a small corrective. There are no gay penguins, there are only confused pengis: A few months at the Killer Whale Intervention Center gets them focused and waddling in a straight line--the ones that survive, anyway.
General, Sir:
I'm not sure if you're aware of the botanically tangled genetics of the rose family. The rose apparently has existed in the form of some cultivar or other since about the third millenia, BCE. The first known roses are Rosa Rugosa (the wild rose, closely related to the beach rose) Rosa Rugosa is actually an opportunisitic import species and is considered a noxious weed in a number of US states. Also, the rose is rather intimately related to the plum and the apple. Now then, Sir, it might be a good idea to IM the judge and let him know that the roses are skipping cousins to a bunch of fruits--and illegal, fucking aliens. There is, thank GOD, no truth to the rumor that they were introduced by Willard Romney's GreatX3 Grandad.
"So you're just a brute after all," Vivian said quietly, staring at me. "You weeded a man last night. Never mind how I heard of it. I heard of it. And now you have to come out here and scare my kid sister Rose into a fit."
I didn't say a word. Her head began to sway in the breeze, tufts of seed tickled free and drifted along the lawn. The perfect, green lawn.
Norris would see to it that the gardener pulled each and every yellow-headed weed, no matter where they touched earth, no matter how long it took. Those twins were no good.
But Carlyle Sternwood would never learn from me his seed was rotten.
I stuffed the stones in my pocket and headed for the mall, but I never saw stinkwig again.
the Rev Jerry Gloryhole |
11.29.06 - 6:15 pm | #
Rev, where is the rest of the story? It is evocative of Bogie at his Raymond Chandler/Dashiel Hammett best! Please advise so I can find it for my book club!
General, Sir, it's been most enlightening, botanically speaking, to read all the wonderful reviews about the good judge's book. His motives are pristine - keep the backyard garden and America pure - much like two other twentieth century purists who between them murdered - sorry, I meant cleansed - over 30 million people in order to keep the race of their dreams dominant. Of course, one was a Catholic (7 or so million), the other a Communist (23 or so million). Thank Jeebus that in the twenty first century, there are still godly folks like this running around. Without them, we would forget the lessons that history has taught and allow the same atrocities to be perpetrated again.
Personally, I'm not a fan of dandelions, although my neighbours use the leaves in salads and make wine from the flowers, so obviously it is a useful plant to them and I wish them well. I do have a fondness for milkweed, which is deemed a noxious plant, but which nourishes Monarch butterflies. I also like many native plants which have been deemed as noxious weeds by purists such as the judge because they grow naturely and interfere with the purist's idea of a perfect garden - keeping up with the Joneses is a bitch, Sir. I embrace these native plants because of their positive affect on the environment - no need to pour on chemical fertilizers, polluting the environment further, no need to spend downtime pulling them out, no need to expend extra money on pest control, because most of these native plants have inbuilt resistance to native pests.
Sorry, Sir, my inner frenchman just ran amok, but I haven't seen many Monarchs in the last few years, and I miss them.
By the way, grass is a weed. I wonder what the judge has around his conclave?
WhattheH |
11.29.06 - 7:26 pm | #
I got to the office and asked Walsh if he had picked up my watch.
‘It's on your desk. Say, you hear the one about the guy who goes to the North Pole with Admiral Byrd looking for penguins?’
Christ, first Demo, now Walsh.
‘Yeah, I heard it, the penguins are gay, right?’
Hey, Walsh, you wanna hear a really good one?
A guy is tired of screwing his wife so his friend says why not do what-the Chinese do? So he says what do they do? His friend says the Chinese they screw for a while -- and then they stop and they read a little Confucius and they screw some more and they stop and they smoke some opium and then they go back and screw some more and they stop again and they contemplate the moon or something and it makes it more exciting. So this other guy goes home to screw his wife and after a while he stops and gets up and goes into the other room only he reads Life Magazine and he goes back and he screws some more and suddenly says excuse me a second and he gets up and smokes a cigarette and he goes back and by this time his wife is getting sore as hell. So he screws some more and then he gets up to look at the moon and his wife says, 'What the hell do you think you're doing? You're screwing like a Chinaman.'
Oops, I hadn’t seen the dame behind me. ‘Hey, Lady, sorry, but I work a little blue.’ Then she gets all, ‘You’ll be hearing from my hotshot lawyers’. ‘F’r Pete’s sake, it’s a joke. Are lawyers really necessary?’ The dame, a Mrs. Mulwray, said, ‘In a perfect world, stinkeye, there wouldn’t be any lawyers at all’ and she stormed out.
Time for a little damage control so I hopped in my coupe and sped off after her. When I rang the bell at Mulwray Manor a Chinese butler answered the door. Oh, shit. That’s why the dame took offense, she’s screwing the butler. Then I see her gardener, another Asian. Mrs. Mulwray’s a goddamn rice queen!
So, I see that the gardener is mucking about one of those pools with running water that rich bitches have on their front lawns. He spouts some gibberish, ‘Bad for glass.’ ‘Yeah, sure. Bad for glass.’
Then it hits me.
That’s what Rev. Gloryhole was trying to tell me! The stinkwig was bad for the glass!!!!
Digesting that important info, I looked into the pool and saw something glittering on the bottom. It was my watch! That son of a bitch, Walsh, had set me up!
`
stinkeye |
11.29.06 - 8:39 pm | #
It had been raining in Fiskdale since the top of the post, a monotonous staccato on the windowsill. I slouched my swivel chair back, reading my name in the glass of my office door:
"elohyrolG yrreJ, veR."
I didn't hear him enter, but then God works in mysterious ways. Patchouli oil, for one. My nostrils flared.
"Good evening, Reverend Gloryhole. My name is...Dan. Dan D. Lyon. A mutual...friend suggested I look you up."
"Does this friend have a name?"
Dan smiled, a wan twitch of too-brown lips. "I forget," he said. "Abbie Something. I doubt it matters."
The name didn't set off any sprinklers. Guy, gal, what did it matter? If the physicists had their way, the universe had more strings tying multiple dimensions than Scott's had weed-killers. Abbie, Abby, Abbe, entropy had us all in it's grip. And I wanted out.
"Klatuu barada nicto," I said, and reached for my stone, but, suddenly, the world turned day-glo. I had forgotten about Walsh, there in the corner.
Too bad he hadn't forgotten about me. Too bad my carpet was so threadbare. Ah, this hard, hard world of illusion. And then it went away.
the Rev Jerry Gloryhole |
11.29.06 - 9:39 pm | #
democommie
"There are no gay penguins," you write.
Ha.
"As gays go, Roy and Silo are not unusual. They cohabit, are affectionate in public and have been inseperable for years. Only their species marks them out. The New York pair are chinstrap penguins."
The Guardian, 2/7/2004
We await your apology.
donescobar |
11.29.06 - 9:44 pm | #
General Suh, Ah em a Hothouse Flower of the finest kind, and I am dependent upon the kindness of stranglers.
This fine strapping young judge is preparing a wave of fine strapping young stranglers to protect me. Ah em most grateful to this kind gentleman and all of you strapping young stranglers upon whose kindness Ah em most dependent.
Blanched DuBois - it means "wh |
Homepage |
11.30.06 - 3:18 am | #
While I must admit that 'Silo' is as gay a name as I can think of I'm sticking to my guns. Just to pre-punch holes in some of the posits that will be posited by well intended, but doomed to eternal damnation, because of their faulty beliefs:
1.) They're very well dressed, perhaps too well dressed, in their little feather tuxedoes: Well, so are Cath-O-Lick school students, military folks and priests--AND NONE OF THEM ARE GAY!
2.) They eat nothing but sushi--Just like a lot of Japanese--AND NONE OF THEM ARE GAY!
It's like some secret de-coder ring thing--I'm just typing along and, bingo, there goes my comment without being finised. Where the hell was I? Oh, yeah, and:
D: When was the last time you saw any penguins in a steam bath or "Big Chaps, no horsies" bar? Yeah, I thought so.
Hey, Zebras, they dress in black and white, nobody's gettin' all up in their muzzles about stallion-on-stallion sex--but of course they're mammals and this society we live in is, duh, mammalian. I ask myself why we have to be so, so Aviaphobic. Yeah, sure, penguin tastes like fried chicken (an oilier, better dressed fried chicken I must admit) but is that any reason to persecute, prosecute and attempt to extirpate them? I'm quite sure that we can send boatloads of Jesuits, Methodists and Lutherans to the South Pole and help any of the confused pengis to realize the errors of their ways.
General, Sir,
It is clear your laudatory review of the judge's perfectly sensible bit of AmericoCaucoInfantile zygote-washing has sparked a vicious reaction among the French, those despicable homodandilions of humanity. I say, soak 'em down with a couple of boxcar loads of RoundUp. Just make sure the damn spraybars are correctly aimed.
Most respectfully yours,
Scrivener |
Homepage |
11.30.06 - 7:37 pm | #
Ahhhhh... a kill the ugly duckling story.... how appropriate for young children!
Terrible |
12.01.06 - 11:01 am | #
"The New York pair are chinstrap penguins."
Am I the only one who read this and immediately thought of Kenneth Mars as the chinodontist on Fernwood 2nite?
Wilson draws from such proud tradition. Der Giftpilz (1938 ) has indeed covered this ground:
"...For our Volk they are poison."
"Like the poisonous mushroom!" says Franz.
"Yes, my child! Just as a single poisonous mushrooms can kill a whole family, so a solitary Jew can destroy a whole village, a whole city, even an entire Volk."
Anonymous |
12.02.06 - 12:10 am | #
Dandelions? How unmanly. What happened? Were rats and cockroaches already taken? And in a book- not in a film or on a radio broadcast? That's not very effective. Books are burned, banned, and go unread for long periods of time. Radio gets around in a Rush and that whips up the machete wielding crowds in no time at all.
Michael |
12.03.06 - 2:26 pm | #
How many plants produce a beautiful flower that's fun to play with when it's ripe, and edible leaves that go well in salads? Anyone who messes with a dandelion messes with me.
You laugh, but there could be a HUGE potential market out there for dressed-up genocidal children's books, a potential market that's currently going largely unfulfilled.
Sir, I must mention that the good Judge's book is also lacking in good Christian content. No wonder you had to ultimately pan it.
Dandelions are hardy, sturdy, adn extremely productive. They've even learned to outwit a lawnmower! But they are colorful... and we can't have that.
Thanks for your review, it was really funny... and informative too!
Sir!!!1!!
General, sir,
Sir, General, Sir!!!
How bout we cut and paste our own reviews?
General Suh, I found this French, atheistic, homosexual review of the Judge's book: "Another one of those xenophobic books accept this time it is disgustingly made for children. The hugely mistaken lesson coming out of this childrens book: blame undocumented workers for all the misery in the world. Pure racism for sale."
My Lord, you're a frackin' genius.
Well, I added some tags such as bigotry and intolerance to my review. We'll see if it gets posted.
Thank you for the info, Seattle Dan! My next order I will check your catalogue, if online, first before I go to abebooks.com.
Alas General Sir!
Does zis mastair carry ze wheep et call himself Simon LeGree?
I am curious as to how obvious his points are. Does he actually say what the book is about? Are the children aware?
General,
I wrote a review of my own and posted it. I think it corrects Mr. Wilson's failed analogy. I will repaste it here for everyones convenience: 
Well, Five of Diamonds, the dandilion weed spray is being researched and undergoing some testing but they're 
For a second there I thought this book was more Lesbian fiction. Whew, good thing it is only good old fashioned family values bigotry instead.
A childrens' book that is a manual for racial separatism?
Why the hell did he use flowers? Why not tell the story using real people? Just tell how they rounded up the people they didn't like and disposed of them. Oh wait, that nonfiction story that was already written, wasn't it?
First I went to see Endicott. I was making small talk along the lines of had Colbert ever been in his greenhouse, maybe last night around midnight? Dude just hauls off and slaps me across the face! Naturally, I slapped him back. Then he was all, I could have had you shot if this was fifty years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Pops. What do you think I am? A Negro? Go back to your epiphytics. I’m outta here. Thanks for the lemonade, you prick.
anne johnson | Homepage | 11.28.06 - 9:34 pm | # 
The story left untold by the judge is that the gardener secretly wanted the dandelions there. He could use them to bulk up at minimal expense the bunches of flowers he sold through Wal-Mart. The hothouse flowers objected that they were being cheapened by the presence of the dandelions, and the gardener promised to get tough on weeds, but he knew that if he actually did anything his product would be priced out of its most profitable market. So he talked a lot about the fork and the hoe and herbicides, but the fork would be broken or the hoe lent to the neighbours or the weedkiller lost in transit. The hothouse flowers blamed the dandelions for all this, and the gardener smiled secretly to himself as he banked another cheque.
Rev, where is the rest of the story? It is evocative of Bogie at his Raymond Chandler/Dashiel Hammett best! Please advise so I can find it for my book club!
General Suh, Ah em a Hothouse Flower of the finest kind, and I am dependent upon the kindness of stranglers.
General, Sir,
Ahhhhh... a kill the ugly duckling story.... how appropriate for young children!
"The New York pair are chinstrap penguins."
Wilson draws from such proud tradition. Der Giftpilz (1938 ) has indeed covered this ground:
