And to think as secular teens the best my friends and I could do was use a toilet paper roll and some tin foil when lighting up the dirt weed. Those home schooled kids are like MacGyver on crack, by gum. Was it Jesus who said "this is my body, this is my bong skull?"
They can scoop the brains out as soon as I'm senile. I'll be the first bong that shits (unless you count McCain).
bob the hog |
05.12.08 - 2:15 am | #
That must be one GREAT homeschool. Like MJS, I learned to make a bong (and sharpened steel shanks that would fit in my boots, and various stink bombs, and creative uses for plumbers torches, and other tricks too numerous to mention or still not excused by the statute of limitations) in school, but it was one of those evil public schools.
Bukko in Australia |
05.12.08 - 7:33 am | #
It's the parents' fault for having failed to beat enough sense into them.
No Blood for Hubris |
Homepage |
05.12.08 - 8:15 am | #
Hmmm, news item didn't even mention Arlene. Faithless blabbermouth was the one who snitched, I guarantee it.
stinkeye |
05.12.08 - 10:33 am | #
This story brings out the conservative in me. Desecrating a cemetery should be a federal crime with severe consequences. It's erasing the past - someone else's past, which seems to be a Christian pastime these days.
Where's my goddamned rake??
Miss Poppy Dixon |
Homepage |
05.12.08 - 11:20 am | #
General, when preparing your press release, be sure to add that the youths were only planning to create toothache remedy in the grand tradition of George Washington. Why they wanted to suck it out of a human skull I can't tell you, because I went to public school. Grave-robbing was not in the state-mandated curriculum.
anne johnson |
Homepage |
05.12.08 - 12:16 pm | #
Off topic. If this has been discussed, sorry.
Good News!! Zygotes will be able to own guns. If Rep. Broun (R) from Georgia has his way. H.R. 4157 will give fertilized eggs full legal rights.
oy.
In RI, the major activity for the bored youth is drinking and driving or for the more bored, drinking and boating.
MsNomir |
Homepage |
05.12.08 - 4:51 pm | #
I don't have the foggiest notion why anyone would even be concerned about this teen-age prank. Would anyone be concerned if these high spirited youngsters had used the head of a white person to facilitate smoking the demon weed? I doubt it. It did, however, give me a few ideas and I decided that, personally, I would have used the hollowed out ulna as a sort of giant cigarette holder and stuck a spliff in one end.
purvis ames |
05.12.08 - 6:19 pm | #
Who knew marijuana was a gateway drug to necrophilia?
the Rev. Jerry Gloryhole |
05.12.08 - 6:41 pm | #
Damn my 16 years in kindergarden has failed me. I'm stumped. How do you make a skull into a bong? I prefer mellon myself, but casabas, honeydu, or if space has no premium a classic watermellon, not a human mellon.
I'm feeling a real disconnect with current drug fashions. Is this a wedge issue?
EdW |
05.12.08 - 8:26 pm | #
God, whatever happened to using a soda can?
bethiris |
05.12.08 - 9:35 pm | #
bob the hog:
Thank KKKrist I had already finished my evening beergruel before I read your comment. As it is, I'm pretty sure my laughter ruptured something important.
General, Sir:
Homeschooling is not the culprit, here. It's recess. If they kept them weefucks locked down they wouldn't be gettin' into no mischief.
Thanks, democommie. I was afraid it was in bad taste. In my opinion, a skull is basically a rock, and Alzheimers patients are better off dead.
Desecrating a cemetery should be a federal crime with severe consequences.
Nickolas Buckalew of Morrisville, Vt. was charged with two felonies and sentenced to 1-7 years in prison for graverobbery (with intent to make a skull bong).
I wonder if the charges would have been less severe if the bong looked like this.
Maybe not. But if I had an expensive ceramic skull bong, and bongsnatchers stole it, and they were caught, they certainly wouldn't do time (they might even get promoted to 'informant'). Willie Simms, on the other hand, doesn't give a flying fuck about his bong.
bob the hog |
05.13.08 - 1:38 am | #
Alzheimers patients are better off dead
Severe, coma cases, I mean. My grandfather had Alzheimers for a decade before he died and though his memory was shot he was the same person he had always been.
bob the hog |
05.13.08 - 1:46 am | #
Whatever happened to joints? Don’t these freaks know how to roll numbers, as they said back in the ’70’s. At Comiskey Park. Watching the Eagles and the Steve Miller Band. Or so I’m told.
Kids these days.
Dave von Ebers |
Homepage |
05.13.08 - 12:42 pm | #
Rolling numbers,
Rock an’ rollin’
Got my Kiss records out …
Shit.
Dave von Ebers |
Homepage |
05.13.08 - 12:47 pm | #
Yeah, alzheimers is a bitch. It's hard to say that those afflicted are better off dead.
I regret saying it. It's heartless. What I meant to say - what I should have said - is that I personally would rather be dead.
Everyone else is better off with Alzheimer's. I highly recommend it to you all : )
bob the hog |
05.13.08 - 4:23 pm | #
oh my, and i live a stoner's throw away from forest lawn. why does the media have to taunt me like this.
lewis_stoole |
05.14.08 - 5:11 am | #
Belatedly:
Dear trademarked Democommie, thank you so much for your clarity on the culprit: recess.
" ...if they kept them weefucks locked down, they wouldn't be gettin into no mischief..."
Priceless. sorry about the ruptureing, but actually the Rupture is supposed to be good, right?
msNomir |
Homepage |
05.14.08 - 5:22 pm | #
Are these fucking brats too good for a gawddamned HONEY BEAR?!?!?!?
Pfft. I blame Paris Hilton.
Too many of the po' whaaat trash kids think that if they go to Wally World to dress their rat-terriers up like her perpetually-persecuted Mexican street rat, that they will BE her, so apparently, a good old Honey Bear, FREE WITH THE PURCHASE OF THE HONEY, YOU MUNCHIES-ADDLED FREAKS, ain't good enough for 'em.
On a more serious note, they desecrated the grave of a CHILD. No, I don't consider fertilized eggs or other wads of non-sentient protoplasm to be "children," y'all already know all of my rants against breeding and the uber-breeders and the "all UR uterus R belong to us!" peckerheads.
But I had to bury my 17-year-old nephew 3 years ago on May 6th, and this shit hits a raw fucking nerve. All who die suffer in one way or another, all are robbed of something in death, whether it's the potential of an entire life yet to be lived, or the memories of a life already achieved. But to smoke weed (I don't care HOW good that shit was!) out of the corporeal remnants of somebody's baby... Severely fucking fucked-up.
I know that the child whose body they desecrated had long-since departed this plane, and is probably a wafting ether out in the universe somewhere, chemical residue, whatever you wanna call it. The body is just a body, the leftovers, if you will. I almost never visit my grandparents' or my nephew's graves because THEY'RE NOT THERE. Yes, there's a lot of southern and Murkin tradition in keeping up the graves "properly" as a show of affection and respect, and I don't have a problem with that (although All Saints' Day in NOLA got on my last fucking nerve). But they don't give a rat's ass if I go look at slabs of granite, borders of concrete, tons of earth that rest atop their overpriced caskets. They are always here, with me. I hear their voices on rare occasions, or what I try to remember how their voices sound, when I see or experience anything that would have made them laugh, I wish that they were here with me to enjoy it. But no, no "ghosts" or other ethereal visitations.
So while I don't place all that much importance on what they paid way too much to preserve in those overblown boxes, if some stupid stoned fucktard decided to dig them up just for shits & giggles, to build a fucking BONG out of their skulls, yeah, I'd want to get a ten-bore augur with a really big diesel engine on that motherfucker, and see how THEY'D feel about being made into LIVING RECTAL BONGS. It's just plain fucking disrespect, to the dead and the living.
And my condolences to those of you who had to help your parents through Alzheimer's. My Papa was never diagnosed, in those 3 painful years between barbaric 1979 chemo and his death of congestive heart failure, but we watched him waste away, a brilliant, eloquent man, with a heart as big as all outdoors, I can't even describe how much that hurt us; I can only wonder how horrible it was for him.
My Nannie was sharp as a tack until the neglect and inferior "healthcare" let the colon cancer eat up her entire body. The Fallen Uterus knew exactly what the fuck she was doing, getting that Power of Attorney before she ever let Nannie go to a hospital, 'cause then I couldn't kidnap her and take her to a gastrointerologist or a REAL hospital.
Didn't mean to be a downer, just trying to offer my sympathy. Usually suck at that, too. I've buried too fucking many people in my life, and it was never once the motherfuckers who NEEDED KILLING. Somehow, those bastards seem to live forever. Or, if they're really lucky and are Dick Cheney, they can keep getting new updated bionic parts.
Anntichrist S. Coulter |
Homepage |
05.15.08 - 2:52 am | #
That must be one GREAT homeschool. Like MJS, I learned to make a bong (and sharpened steel shanks that would fit in my boots, and various stink bombs, and creative uses for plumbers torches, and other tricks too numerous to mention or still not excused by the statute of limitations) in school, but it was one of those evil public schools.
It's the parents' fault for having failed to beat enough sense into them.
Hmmm, news item didn't even mention Arlene. Faithless blabbermouth was the one who snitched, I guarantee it.
This story brings out the conservative in me. Desecrating a cemetery should be a federal crime with severe consequences. It's erasing the past - someone else's past, which seems to be a Christian pastime these days.
General, when preparing your press release, be sure to add that the youths were only planning to create toothache remedy in the grand tradition of George Washington. Why they wanted to suck it out of a human skull I can't tell you, because I went to public school. Grave-robbing was not in the state-mandated curriculum.
Off topic. If this has been discussed, sorry.
oy.
I don't have the foggiest notion why anyone would even be concerned about this teen-age prank. Would anyone be concerned if these high spirited youngsters had used the head of a white person to facilitate smoking the demon weed? I doubt it. It did, however, give me a few ideas and I decided that, personally, I would have used the hollowed out ulna as a sort of giant cigarette holder and stuck a spliff in one end.
Damn my 16 years in kindergarden has failed me. I'm stumped. How do you make a skull into a bong? I prefer mellon myself, but casabas, honeydu, or if space has no premium a classic watermellon, not a human mellon.
bob the hog:
Jeezus H. Christ. Bongs made outa skullz?
Are these fucking brats too good for a gawddamned HONEY BEAR?!?!?!?
