Oh gracious! Something else we can blame on Dale Vree!

PPPA (Pertinacious Papist Put-on Artist), if only this were true!
mullah ralph | 02.15.06 - 12:36 pm | #

"Eucharistic ministers"

Argh.
Terry | 02.15.06 - 5:04 pm | #

Eucharistic ministers... they have managed to make even the titles gawk-awkward.
Joe | 02.15.06 - 8:48 pm | #

HA! That's too funny - an extraordinary minister shortage! LMAO LMAO LMAO!

WANTED: Extraordinary people who think they're holy so they can look down on those who come to receive.

HA!

BMP
Brian Michael Page | Homepage | 02.15.06 - 9:16 pm | #

LMAO...amen!
Charles | Homepage | 02.15.06 - 9:53 pm | #

Meanwhile, there are reports of a glut of Popes surpassing the previous record set in 1415. The influx of Popes from other Christian denominations is a contributory factor.
Spirit of Vatican II | Homepage | 02.16.06 - 5:14 am | #

People wonder why so many Extraordinary Ministers are women. Well, recently a man seeking to join our faith community, a Mr J. Christ, applied for the position. However, upon looking into his background, we discovered a disturbing tendency toward calling people "hypocrites", and when he started overturning tables at our parish bake sale, we contemplated expelling him altogether. That sort of vibrance we clearly do not need! But our womanly compassion prevailed, and instead, we sternly advised him that the EMHC position was not available to him unless he watched his behavior. He hung his head in silence, and we haven't seen him since. And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is that!
Imelda Gribbish | 02.16.06 - 9:22 am | #

LMAO? What does such an abbreviation mean?

Oh, and on the topic at hand, I almost didn't realize that this WAS satire because there are folks here in the Archdiocese (seriously!) who feel the need to recruit MORE of them precisely because there appears to be a shortage.
Chris Garton-Zavesky | 02.16.06 - 4:47 pm | #

LMAO = Laughing My Arse Off
Jordan Potter | 02.16.06 - 11:40 pm | #

Perhaps they should declare every man his own EMHC, and send hosts through the mail like collection envelopes. People could bring them to mass each week, hold them up for consecration in some kind of mass orans posture cum pilates move, and then to each his own.

Viola! No communion lines! We get out 5 minutes sooner! Helllloooo, NFL!

Of course, the current crop of EMHCs might see this as a threat to their own elite status. But it is only the logical culmination of the entire EMHC movement.

"You may say I'm a dreamer . . . ."
ralph roister-doister | 02.17.06 - 7:28 am | #

Please, one parodist(SOVII) at this blog is sufficient.
phil swain | 02.22.06 - 3:34 pm | #

Phil Swain:

Father O'Leary doesn't mean to be vending parody.
Chris Garton-Zavesky | 02.24.06 - 5:37 pm | #