Fr. Rutler says somewhere "If you have to explain to a priest why he may not wear a block of cheese on his head during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, you have already lost the argument".
Suppose a Cardinal comes in and gives you a turkey. Maybe you can trade the turkey for a liturgical book!
Kathy, I think at that point I'd throw the turkey at someone!
Yes, Philip, but at WHOM? Surely the Cardinal would argue that you needed to learn more about Catholic social teaching?
You certainly couldn't throw it at the Cardinal. If I remember correctly, that's an automatic excommunication according to Canon Law (ALTHOUGH, there MAY be some wiggle room if you say it was the TURKEY that actually struck him....liberal interpretation.)
We have three priests in our parish. The two newest priests (ordained within the past five years) are very faithful to the liturgical rubrics. The older priest (ordained within the past 20 years) is actually pretty faithful to the rubrics, when compared to most priests in the U.S. these days, but he is much more likely to do a little bit of ad-libbing (but only a very little bit), and he likes to say a greeting and then summarise what the emphasis of that Sunday's Mass is for based on the readings (kind of a 10-second preview of his homily), and only then does he lead us in the sign of the cross and begin the Mass, saying, "Let us begin, as we begin all good things . . ." The two younger priests never do that -- as soon as the entrance hymn is finished, they just turn to us and make the sign of the cross and the Mass starts.
Perhaps we could pack the congregation with parishioners holding fresh, raw turkeys by the leg, at the ready, awaiting the entrance hymn to end, and if the priest says ... No, just kidding. But the thought is hard to resist.
I know. We could put a turkey under every credence table in the USA. And if there's a greeting at the beginning of Mass some right-minded person will get into the offertory procession and take the turkey up. At first it will be dismissed as a local or cultural custom (as some people are dismissing the Lenten fast--I kid you not). As though there might be an immigrant Pilgrim settlements down the road. But sooner or later it will begin to seem like a trend, "Yeah, what's with those turkeys, anyway?"
Yes, and then eventually we will shame everyone by saying they are "rigid" for not understanding and APPRECIATING the depth of this turkey gesture. "Turkeys are associated with THANKSGIVING for goodness sakes! Aren't you THANKFUL?"
And before you know it, it will be accepted across the country, at which point the American bishops will dutifully ask for an adaptation to the rubrics.
And THEN once the adaptation is granted we will ruthlessly enforce it, not allowing any deviation at all (unless it involves say, the involvement of peacocks or something more colorful).
Hmmm....I can see why the liberals just LOOOVE this game!
Jesus said:"Be of good cheer!" And cheer rhymes with beer. Guinness probably rhymes with cheer in Aramaic.
BTW do the rubrics forbid the priest to chew tobacco at the mass? I know there would have to be an altar boy to carry around a guilded coffee can. Maybe this would be inculturation at work. We could get a nice rocking chair for the celebrant and embroider a stole onto father's suspenders.
I looked it up in my handy British-Aramaic dictionary: Guinness rhymes with "sewer drech."
The first problem to be fixed is the versus populum posture. After that, smooth sailing.
My priest comes in at the beginning of Mass and says: 'In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti' 
Kathy, you must have picked up your British-Yiddish dictionary by mistake. You need to consult the Irish-Aramaic dictionary.
Sorry. I meant Irish.
If you want to claim the turkey merely struck him, I wonder if that means you need to thaw it out first?
Commenting by HaloScan
