Oh wow. Love the insight. I still haven't read the book... but I am a firm believer in the distance = not-in-to-you-ness.
Some guys keep the act up only because they have ill intentions... Oh how I hate how so many men play games out there...
I agree with you 100%.
I keep hearing about the book, but haven't read it yet. I think you're right...there's always exceptions to the rules, and this book is a generalization that can be applied to the majority....but not always!
Did you know that there is already a female answer to this book:
You're Not That Into Him Either
I just thank my lucky stars I am not in that game anymore - Into Him, Into Her, yadda, yadda - and that my husband thinks I am the best thing ever! Ya know what I mean?
Anyway, Pink Poppy, you rock, as always.
I like that review even though I'm not looking for anyone....ha
I also read and really like
"Women Who Love too Much" and "Men Who Can't Love"
If he asks for your number and doesn't call, "He's Just Not That Into You", no matter how old they are. That hasn't happened to me but it has to friends of mine, and I wish I could shake them and tell them no he's not having a problem finding his phone "He's Just Not That Into You", and then to top it off THEY DESERVE BETTER. Taking into consideration all the other factors you mentioned, such as age, and not wanting to ruin a friendship, all the other stuff may not mean just that, totally agree with you there.
Excellent review, Pink Poppy.
I haven't read the book, but the definitiveness of the authors (from what I saw on the talkshows) was what made me a little iffy to their message, so what you pointed out makes complete sense to me.
I feel lik there are definite "he's just not that into you" moves (or non-moves) that can be made, but some missteps can be blamed on other factors.
I think women know the answers, we just don't want to be honest with ourselves or listen to what our gut tells us. I know someone who is in a situation like this right now, if you ask her is this person the one, she can tell you no, but yet she stays. He shows all the signs that he just not that into her, but yet she stays. I spoke very straight with her and asked her all the questions, she knew the answers, but yep, she's still with him. That's how a lot of people are. They may not possess the strength to walk away for different reasons, but deep down, we know what we see. I'm glad to be out of that race and happily married too. Those games are no fun! Ladies, listen to yourself and do what you know you need to do. Life's too short to settle for someone who's just not that into you.
I do agree that younger gentlemen are less likely to fall into the "just not into you" category (they are more "just too scatterbrained to focus on one thing for too long") and the main reason that I liked the book was its underlying message that you're worth more than you give yourself credit for. It's just too easy to go into overanalyze mode and start to question what YOU'VE done to make a man stop calling, so realizing that he's just not the right one for you can be very comforting.
So refreshing to find a flip side to the book. I agree with all your guests' comments. Sometimes it just is heartwrenching when you meet someone and have a connection and nothing happens. 'Tis not to be, I guess. But, still alittle sad.
"Men..can't live with 'em..can't shoot 'em!"
Like you, I also wrote about this book on my blog.
I'm happily married now, but when I was dating I must admit... excuses were a big part of the dating scene for me and my single friends.
There came a point when I started to realize that I'd rather be in control of my own destiny than to leave it in the hands of a guy. It's quite empowering when you take control of your relationships... and your future, don't you think?
Only it became frustrating when my friends couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel -- you know, the one where you're "alone" for awhile.
I've watched several of my girlfriends either "settle" into bad relationships or refuse to let go when they KNEW the guy wasn't "the one".
I wish this book would've been out when I was dating...
Thanks for the review, I was debating reading this book, now I dont have to 
thank you for saying it's a generalization! i just had a painful breakup with the best guy i've ever had; it was perfection for 8 months and he told me for many months that he wanted us to have a baby. but around the holidays, he started getting distant; long story short, an excellent book about commitmentphobia by steven carter and julia sokol explained his behavior exactly. does it matter? yes, it does! it's the difference between that he probably really loved/loves me and is very scared versus he wasn't that into me or isn't. although it's unlikely that we'll be together again despite my hopes, it's easier to move on with a reason. i'm annoyed by oprah's and behrendt's insensitive 'get over it and move on" message. there is nothing wrong with wanting to know why and in fact demanding to know why.
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