I have met players, and it really doesn't please me that they take these things so lightly in their everyday stride. Giving someone's trust is a huge thing to do for anybody.
Well written, and all so true. But tell me Patrick, are You a man that wears leather....or Mickey Mouse Pjs.
This is very well written and very informative. HOWEVER. Someone who's relatively new to this lifestyle is basically coming to grips with who they are. That's hard enough without worrying about which category you fall into. A cat can be a feline, a pussy, or whatever it's scientific name is, but in the end it's still a cat. Just my opinion.
Great article, Patrick! Yeah, the posers are annoying, what little I've seen of them. It's one reason why I'm a bit disparaging of strictly online relationships, BDSM or vanilla. For one, Dan and I were communicating mostly online and on the phone for our first year and it was pure hell.
Second, it's so much *easier* to pose when you're behind a computer screen. I'm aware that for many, online play is plenty. Still, it seems far too easy to dupe people.
Sometimes funny too! I think it was SexKitten's (Submissive Blog?) blog where she posted a letter from a so-called "Master" who went on and on after their first date about how he was meant to be her Master, etc...and she posted the whole thing on her blog! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry! Pretty funny stuff when it's so clear to see this guy simply wanted in her panties.
Or her Minnie Mouse PJs! 
Oh and the guy looking for an "intilligint" submissive...would it help if you were an *intelligent* Dom? LOL
That was indeed on sexkitten's excellent blog, Amber, and I was dying laughing. I remarked somewhere in there that if nothing else, stupid people sure make us feel better about ourselves. LOL
I'm glad you took the time to read this essay, as well as troubling yourself to reply, and I'm delighted that you enjoyed reading it. I wonder if I shouldn't have created this blog the same night I created the BDSM Forum over there. So far, the poetry blog seems to be a wash-up, though ... LOL
Keep in touch, darlin',
--Patrick--
The one nice thing I'll say about online relationships is that the posers usually show their ass sooner rather than later, and while there may be emotional pain, at least it's rare that people get killed online. LOL
I did a poem about online scening that I guess I should put on the poems blog just for shits and grins, hey? Anyhoo, I'm outtahere.
--Patrick--
Bravo... great essays. This is definitely a blog I'll be keeping up with. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Patrick. It certainly never hurts to have another valuable resource available.
This is an excellent read. I think when looking at people in the BDSM sense, it is a good idea to look at this person as just your average joe on the street, not as a dom or a sub. If you laugh or cringe at their behaviour, do you really want to date them? Too many people think that it is acceptable for someone to act like an ass or a brat because they have given themselves a label. Take that label away and you are going to get exactly what you see, the ass or the brat.
I love the 'velcro collar of the week!'
When I first read this article, I thought it was a little too much in the "true" vs. "false", genuine lifestylers vs. idiots category. Such writings is always difficult for me to read, as I'm still fumbling around trying to hack my way through the dense jungle my desires. I am not a "true lifestyler". I know that. And articles like this can make me feel as if anything but that is a fake.
However, I know you well enough to know, that this is NOT your point. You are not a judgemental person . The point seems to be that if someone is looking for a genuine relationship - they should watch out for players, the uncaring fakes. Be careful or they will get hurt. Very hurt! And that is one hell of a good point, as so many people around these blogs are searching for real BDSM/love relationships.
Thanks for sharing 
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