Had to comment. I have understood and read near on everything you have written thus far honey. If more people whether it be Dom/me's sub's or vanilla people took the time to think aobut their actions way before they actioned their intentions on others the world would be a much more plesant place. xx
Thank you Patrick. I think everyone who engages in play like this has to define their own hard limits like this. Otherwise, in the heat of the moment, one might consent to or do things, which will, eventually cause damage on body, soul or self respect.
I also think that these limits are important when it comes to escalation. It seems that BDSM to some people ends up in a n addictive spiral towards harder and harder stimuli. Which your "karate"-story is a good example of, Bet they didn't start out like that.
Hugs. Very insightful!
Well written dear friend...I guess I like looking into other's thoughts too much but I enjoyerd reading about the thoughts and experiences that made you who you are today. It's all very interesting to me.
I have a couple more comments but there's no place here for them...I digress. Great writing and I hope that you continue writing fiction. Does it make you happy to write? If it does, don't stop just because some pencil pusher stuck in an office couldn't see the beauty in your work. I loved the novel and I hope to see more...don't lose faith in your ability to write. You have an amzing talent!
That and I wish I could write like that...I'm envious!
Very well-written. See? You CAN write, silly!
The vomit mention made my mind go off on a tangent to some disturbing Japanese porn I've seen over the years. Puke princesses, bukkake babies, snuff films... Oh the things you can find on the internet when you're not deliberately looking for it.
And, back to the topic at hand. Always important to TALK before you do anything with anyone. That way, less of a chance for srew-ups, right? Right...?
Back to studying!
My comments echo everything mentioned above. Very insightful piece.
Very interesting, insightful and eloquently put. Thank you!
As usual very well written. So true, I'm not into alot of that stuff either. Im a big believer of coming out of things glowing, not bleeding.
BTW - I changed Your link name on my blog. Lol must be the BDSM thing it was picking up at work.
Thank you for sharing that with us. While many of them are not for me either I do know people who love to play in certain areas. Each to their own I guess.
Keep smiling
Patrick, a hearty thank you for this very interesting post. I found the last part, about rape fantasies, so touching. For those of us with zero experience of rape, it tends to stay in a fictional realm and, like fantasy spanking, bears no or only the faintest resemblance (I imagine) to the real thing. It is far easier to romanticize something you have absolutely no knowledge of in reality.
It sounds as if you have played with many partners, some in public. Do you consider yourself a Dom or a top (or both)? When I originally asked to hear about your feelings and limits, I was especially interested in emotional limits (vs. SSC, etc.) within the D/s dynamic. When you are with a long-term partner—as I guess Gracie is—do you find yourself hesitant to do things you would ordinarily do with a relative stranger? And why?
(cont'd)
(cont’d)
By the way, I tried to comment on the SSC article more than once and Haloscan rejected me! the nerve!
Re. getting “shot in the ass with some bad news”: If you mean by that that your novel was turned down by a publisher, then send it to 10 others! Never, never settle for the opinion of one. Publishing houses all have very distinct agendas and styles, not to mention quotas and budgets, so –as they say—“one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” Fire up that xerox machine and get crackin’!
I'm happy to join the chorus of rave reviews for this piece. Very nicely done (as always it seems).
Within the first few days after meeting, L and I had a nice, long, detailed discussion of our individual "hard limits". Fortunately, they turned out to be essentially identical. I firmly believe that such discussions need to be tackled early-on, and must be honest & candid. If there's a significant mismatch, it's much better to know sooner rather than later.
I'm happy to join the chorus of rave reviews for this piece. Very nicely done (as always it seems).
Within the first few days after meeting, L and I had a nice, long, detailed discussion of our individual "hard limits". Fortunately, they turned out to be essentially identical. I firmly believe that such discussions need to be tackled early-on, and must be honest & candid. If there's a significant mismatch, it's much better to know sooner rather than later.
I have come to your page via shimmers...and a wonderful wee discovery it is. I have read only a little but definitely liked what I saw and shall be back at the next opportune moment!
I have come to your page via shimmers...and a wonderful wee discovery it is. I have read only a little but definitely liked what I saw and shall be back at the next opportune moment!
That's an interesting perspective about why you couldn't eroticize medical play. I spent a lot of time in my childhood in and out of hospitals. I wasn't traumatized by the experience, but I can't imagine being anything but bored or a bit annoyed by medical play.
Perhaps a bit of mystery is necessary to create an erotic experience?
That's an interesting perspective about why you couldn't eroticize medical play. I spent a lot of time in my childhood in and out of hospitals. I wasn't traumatized by the experience, but I can't imagine being anything but bored or a bit annoyed by medical play.
Perhaps a bit of mystery is necessary to create an erotic experience?
What about really ugly shoes - like cheap white faux-leather 3inch pumps from KMart. Even worse - after Labor Day! That's a hard limit with me.
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thats good . you can describe wat you want and what you dont want . th
I'm glad to see someone in a dom position discussing in a reasonable way what they will not do. While I do not agree on all your points (most of them I do), I think that it is terribly important to have some limits and guidelines set into place which you will not go past. Part of personal maturity is acknowledging what you really don't want to do and giving your reasoning as a result of what you are versus what you are told to be. Kudos.
mouthybitch
Thanks for the insight. It's rare that Dominants discuss their do's and don'ts with more than their current partner. Glad to see you brought this out into the open.
Take care. Gulf Coast eh? Sounds like you live near me. nice to see a fellow author and lifestyler close by.
i agree its a interesting perspective , and do love medical bdsm and bondage.
Great blog 
As for my personal limits I have three very different ones: no kidsex, animalsex or scat. Of course you can think of dozens others which won't be enjoyable but as far as pain goes it just increases my lust...
tina from Sweden
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