I guess I would fit into a few of those categories. Several with growing up, a few more now.
"Some children work at being “the black sheep”, to make sure that they are nothing like any of the others in the house." [I wouldn't call myself the black sheep - that honour goes to my middle brother- but I did and still do go out of my way to be different from my family, starting with moving away from my home town, something no one from my immediatey family has ever had the desire to do.]
"Some children are selfish and uncaring to their family, yet are kowtowed to by their parents in hopes that their behaviour gets better." [My only bad behaviour was came from challenging authority which came about when my mother sided with my sister after she witnessed the bitch kick me in the crotch after accusing me of stealing one of her precious babysitting dollars and told me get up off the floor and stop crying, that she didn't see my sister do anything of the kind. I guess m
..told me get up off the floor and stop crying, that she didn't see my sister do anything of the kind. I guess my mother has had a miraculous memory recovery because now she believes me when I tell that story. She and I are close now, but since I moved away, my sister now has the chance to be close to my mother she has always felt she was denied since the day I was born. Whatever. Too much drama from that broad for my taste, thank you.]
I don't know if I'm my mother's favourite, but I can tell you I am my father's favourite (he told me so once...when he was in the sljivo).
And hey, who can blame the guy? I'm not hard to love at all. Some might even say I'm easy.
To love, that is. 
I've always felt confident that I loved all my children equally. What was unequal is how much I loved the way they acted. And although I know the stuff you have just stated is so often true, you have not shaken my faith in my own ability to balance and equalize my affection for each of them.
I love all of my kids, but I do have a favourite, I think if the truth be known everyone does.
I think the DEPTH of one's love is the same for all the kids -- probably the degree of "LIKE" varies. Hard for me to say, since I only had one.
But I know that my mother LIKED my youngest brother the most. She was closest to him. Doesn't mean she wouldn't have fought to the death for any one of us, though. The depth of her love -- and commitment (maybe that's the key) -- to all of us was probably pretty close to equal.
Lilly,
I am an only child by my mother, so I don't experience the sibling rivalry thing. Being an only child comes with it's own obligations and expectations that I think might be even more demanding than the competition for affection between sibs.
Kat,
Who can blame your dad?
Roberta,
Welcome.
I don't doubt that most parents love their children. What I doubt is the equal part. I also know that it's absolutely taboo to even entertain the thought that this might actually be true.
Someone once said, "whether you do or don't doesn't matter. What matters is that you ACT like you do".
Brian,
I admire your ability to admit that about yourself.
Reecie,
That's probably true..that it's the depth of love, but in the end the result to the child is the same.
You just can't convince some children that you love them once they get the thought that you prefer another over them. Once that doubt is there it doesn't matter if the depth is in your heart. The child responds to what they THINK is the depth of your love as a parent.
I was never the favourite of either parent - that is reserved for my older sister and my brother. At times I don't even think that my mother likes me altho' she loves me. I bear a resemblance to my paternal grandmother who my mother disliked intensely.
In my family, the price of being favored by either of our parents was too high. Things that you couldn't help doing (like growing up) would piss off my mother, who wanted us to be children and at home forever so that she would never have to be alone with herself. And things that you couldn't help being (like female) would piss off my father, who mistook having male offspring for manhood. It was easier to simply avoid them both as much as possible.
Does that make me sound bitter? *LOL*
Sonja & Cicada,
It's comforting to know that dysfunction is normal.
Like I told my mother when she again took my sister's side in some stupid thing I was to have called the bitch but didn't because I hate the word in question used and have never used it in my life (trust me, I have the face of an angel and the mouth of a dirty sailor), just because she and I are sisters does NOT mean I HAVE to like her, because lord knows I never have!
I think that sentiment works for all kinds of family relationships not just between siblings, therefore I can see a mother loving her child that she carried for nine months and spent years feeding and protecting while at the same time grow to dislike particular things about a child's demeanour and personality. Some traits are a total turn off, not just to the opposite sex but to your own family! Some kids are too needy, others are too aloof. Depends on the dynamics the kid and parent grow into in my opinion.
My dad loves me more and my mom loves my brother more. It works out all fair in my family.
I'd have to agree that I love my children differently. And while I try not to play favorites, looking back I can see periods where I connected better with one than the other. Like right now, for example, my daughter is nine and I'm having a hard time getting excited about Neopets cards, while my 13-year-old son and I are both into punk music so he's the "favorite" right now.
Some people are harder to love, indeed. And some people need more love, hence the black sheep getting more love in some cases.
I'm the last of 7 kids.
Definately not my mother's favorite - in fact, I think my dad 'liked' me more than my mom.
But you know what? I'm honestly not bothered by that fact. I'm kind of an independent person - and don't have the big family thing.
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