My boss's mother is German, and her father is Korean. I always wondered what it must have been like for them in that generation (they're in their early 60s) to be in an interracial marriage, when attitudes were far less tolerant than now.
However, having read this, it would seem attitudes haven't changed all that much.
It's fucked up.
I often wonder why ANYONE cares who someone else loves. I see a couple happy and in love, I think "YAY, A LITTLE LESS LONELINESS IN THE UNIVERSE!"
Black, white, Korean, German, old, young, straight, gay -- who gives a shit? Why can't we all just let other people find their happiness and wish them well when they do?
Kat,
It doesn't happen all that often. That's why when it does, it's disturbing. I was just having a discussion the other day with someone at work who was talking about gay marriage, and I pointed out that a mere 30 years ago interracial marriage was illegal in some places.
Reecie,
I totally agree with you.
Why it would matter to a stranger is beyond my comprehension.
haha - when Mr. Mystic and I go to his birth country, Spain, we're considered interracial as I am Scandinavian and pale as a ghost. The women constantly wonder what he's doing with me....(and as an aside, wonder what the hell kind of shoes i'm wearing....)
Evolved or mature? I cant' help but think it's about jealousy and pecking order, as in black women should have first dibs and the dude is obviously not prize material, only then would they back aside and let the other races swoop in. But then again, I know a lot of retarded black men who are married to black women, so perhaps they wouldn't chuck on aside for other coloured/shaded women to have just because he IS black. It's rather irrational if you ask me, like a child with toys who is so selfish they perfer not to have friends just to avoid sharing at all possible costs. Sad, really.
It's a really disappointing day when you get confronted with that kind of crap for the first time, and realize that for all the lip service our culture gives to being colorblind, it's really not at all. I've been reamed by black women for making comments about attractive black men. And it's interesting - they have no qualms sharing their anti-interracial opinions. Ugh. I don't see how you put up with that kind of junk. I'd go ballistic.
Lilly,
I think that it goes a little deeper than that. There is a certain responsibility that some people feel is owed to their race. I have not had the black experience, so it's hard for me to imagine what it would be like. There is this stereotype of the "black man who gets to a certain economic level and then finds a white wife to suit his new status". I suppose there are men like that. Perhaps it's easier for some women to swallow if they think that the black person in any interracial relationship hates their own race. It's amazing how personal some people can make other peoples' life choices or decisions.
Bunny,
I think that for many black people, they have taken such shit for such a long time, that they feel that this is their time to say what they want or feel.
I talk about my experience in my post, but I've also been present when white people have made me embarrassed to be white because of their stupid comments or behaviour.
It takes all kinds doesn't it?
You're right - we really aren't as evolved as we think. Oh sure, we have the superficiality of political correctness that allows everyone to pretend to be 'not racist'. But then something like what you dexribe happens, and people get all wanky.
It's shameful, really.
I know how you feel, I lived with a vietnamese girl for 3 years back in the UK & the stares & comments we generated from both our respective cultures shocked & dissapointed me.
It also seems to me that the more we pat ourselves on the back for our tolerance, the more subtle we become at demonstrating our bigotry.
As a Black Man I have no problem with anyone who marries who they love (notice I said the word love) I can tell you that during my relationship and marriage that my ex and I received many disparaging looks from people. I live in the South, so it's probably worse than anywhere in America, but I can tell you that it's actually getting better. I've dated many different people in my 36 years, but I can tell you it wasn't because of race..it was because there was something that interested me about them. Maybe some of us (humans) have evolved...I know I have.
"Maybe some of us (humans) have evolved...I know I have."
Ack, bad science alert. Ok, I know evolution is a neat buzzword but let's stop for a second.
Individuals do not evolve and by definition, CANNOT evolve since natural or even artificial selection is entirely dependent on reproduction and passing genes onto offspring. You have to develop a mutation or have some adaptation that is beneficial to your species which helps you to survive long enough to pass the genes on. Evolution takes place over many generations and in a population, not individuals. I think you mean to say that you have become educated in terms of cultural or racial tolerance (you may want to study up a bit on Bio 101 however).
It's been a theory of mine for a long time that much of the bad behavior in the world stems from a lack of love -- either because a person feels as if they are unloved, or because a lack of love in their life made them unwilling to love others. (I won't say "unable" because *that* is absolute crap.)
Why would anyone care about whether or whom you love if they felt that they had enough love in their own life?
Now an interesting point Radmila brings up on how we are not nearly evolved as we think. I think part of the problem is that we are living in a time where we have computers, electricity and plumbing. We feel smarter than the generations before us due to technology however, how many of us have actually helped in the advancement of society (besides carrying our ancestor's dna and perhaps passing that down the line).
Even with all the advancements that mankind has managed to make, we still have the same brains that people had when they sacrificed humans to appease the gods or burnt heretics who had the crazy idea that the Earth was round.
I guess what I mean to say is that we are lucky enough right now to live in a time where all you get is a dirty look from some misinformed racist pig.
There are plenty of small minded people in the world. It isn't worth the grief worrying about what they think of you and your relationship.
A joj, Radmila, this will blow your mind.My husband (M) and I are the same nationality, same religion, but we are not from the same congregation or village, so we are considered mixed marrige by some "glupi" people.
Ignorence has no borders.
You are the "bestest".
You know, I was watching some local show and they were talking about interracial relationships and some lady pointed out that as a lot of interracial kids begin to mature and date, it's harder and harder to define what 'interracial' is. And all I could think was 'Thank Christ'.
EG - the new baby in our group is scottish/chinese/german/black/hispanic. God bless him.
Point #2. People are asses. When I go to my mil's neighbourhood I get the stares because - no, I don't look like I belong. I just want to turn around and say, 'Heeelllooo, are we staring?' - but that would just confirm their belief that I am indeed a nazi. so fuck 'em.
My mother is Chinese and my father is Indian. The stories i've heard of what people said and have attempted to do to them - the latter is as always, unusual in its brand of cruelness when it comes from family - all in the name of being confronted with shock, horror and taboo.
Nah, intelligence doesn't equate to maturity. It just gives people the right to put themselves above whoever they can.
ARGH, hit enter too early. I was going to say, Chris does have a point though. It is getting better. Slowly, and painfully, but moving along nonetheless.
Speaking as someone that knows Radmila pretty well, I must admit they are such a great couple it still boggles my mind that people cant see past the colour difference and see how happy they are. They are both great people and I think back to many years ago when I first met them, I was so touched by how great they were as people that it was many months before it even dawned on me that they were from different racial backgrounds. In hindsight it surprises me I didnt notice as I am not blind but I think that is the power that they project (at least to those that arent already blinded by racism). It has always bothered me to hear of things like this anywhere but when its close to home you feel it more. I know its human nature to feel things more strongly when they impact you or a friend directly but it still sucks in general. I'm sorry you and your man had to put up with that. It shouldnt happen.
Love J.
I'm currently dating a Hindu guy, and I get odd looks all the time. It's odd for people here in this country to see a fair skinned person dating someone who is not of their race, ir seems. I wasn't raised to see people as black or white, but was raised to see people as euqals. It's amazing that rascism still exists.
I knew someone else in the same boat - a white woman with a black husband and black women always gave her the evil eye, like she was stealing from them or something. I get looks from some of my Jewish friends who are dissapointed I married a non Jew - as if I've let down the entire race or something.
Commenting by HaloScan
