that's really moody, man. and interesting. i like the ponderous, self-reflective...momentous feeling. i like the narrator's sudden horror, and the toolateness of it. dramatic. i think my favorite line was the one about his skin the color of the earth.
and i like how the narrator is a witness of something important and true...even if the shadow of that light falls in him regretfully. i sort of enjoy those poignant epiphanous types of scenes at times. it seems like a truth of life. we gain real wisdom. and it is at the cost of time, or blood, or life, or pride, or something very precious to us. it's a bittersweet trade.
I am glad you liked it. I like to think of myself as a writer, but poetry has never been my thing. I would not even call it poetry, just a picture that I needed to draw before it left me. Dreams are weird that way.
yeah...i agree, this is like a moment, a glimpse, a short tale, a seed, a story. but cool.
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