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Well, that's the old-line feminist angle, isn't it. I'm a little surprised it's still being retailed, but maybe it's in reaction to all the gauzy-halo-of-SAHMhood out there these days. It seems that out in the land, the idea of mother!=selfless angel is fast vanishing, along with it a lot of second-wave feminist work.

What's the lady's email address? If she's a prof, I bet it's public.
amy | 08.10.04 - 10:49 pm | #

OK, I read the thing. It doesn't look like she's writing for an audience that has thought much about this stuff, and my guess is it's meant as a bulwark against the magazine gauziness. I'm also guessing she's decided the audience isn't ready for anything as shocking! mad! libertine! as considering seriously the proposition that fathers might stay home, or that men and women might both work at serious-part-time-work-tra-la and both be raising their children.

Or she's old and cranky and has just pressed the "old stock phrases" button. Gretchen! Which is it? Or was it something else?
amy | 08.10.04 - 11:05 pm | #

OK, thought some more & emailed her, & maybe she'll answer. What I wrote:

"My question for you: Would you say that the stay-home dad movement is also harmful? While it doesn't carry the gendered-role freight SAHMhood does, and doesn't have quite the same revival-tent air that the current Passion of the Mother does, it also requires a father to largely give up his career and public life 'at least temporarily', and it raises the other problems you note with SAHMhood."
amy | 08.10.04 - 11:31 pm | #

Gretchen Ritter's response:

"You've divided the issue exactly right as far as I can tell. There are two different things that I take issue with on the stay-at-home mother movement - one concerns gender roles, and the other concerns the absence of balance between work, community, and family. The stay at home father trend certainly is a positive thing on the first issue - it suggests that men, too, can be engaged and accomplished caregivers. As for the second issue goes, I do think that all adults should try to contribute across these three realms, but it does not necessarily need to be a one third, one third, one third proposition at any given moment in time. What's most important is that we make a life time commitment to care for those who are dependent upon us, but to also give our talents & skills to the public."

hang on -
amy | 08.15.04 - 12:33 pm | #

The last part of the reply is a bit waffly, I think, but I suspect it translates to "Apart from the gender-role business, being an SAHD is as harmful as being an SAHM -- both to themselves and to society -- if SAHDs cloister themselves with their children to the extent many SAHMs do, taking no interest in the world outside Kinder, Kuche and Kirche."

amy
amy | 08.15.04 - 12:34 pm | #

Thanks much, Amy. I'll re-post this to the main site in the next couple of days. -rD
Rebel Dad | Homepage | 08.15.04 - 4:58 pm | #

There ARE gender differences, even if the mother works. Women carry the babies and lactate. Women who give birth need time to recover, and usually take 4-6 weeks off of work. Would Ritter like for women to not get pregnant, too? How are men to have their children? You can't change the fact that there are biological differences, and that employers already understand that when making hiring choices.

Also, to follow her logic, stay at home dads teach kids about gender rolls, too, so they must also be bad!
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