How about this? "If you want the future to look different from how things are now, *you're* responsible for making it that way."
I wish someone had told me to stick up for what I believed in. It's easy to let yourself get swayed (by friends, peers, adults, etc) at that age and a strong kid should believe in herself.
If you can think of a poetic way to say "For the love of Pete, enjoy being a kid"... I could have used that.
I did a page in one of these for a friend's daughter who was turning 16...ten is so young to deal with women's wisdom though she can read it down the road.
I actually think your underwear talking point is appropriate for every age leval and I think this nugget of wisdom will stand the test of time.
The one I have said over and over to my kids is that if someone is mean or says hateful things to or about you, it is all about them...they have the problem. I'm hoping it sinks in as I didn't get this until I was thirty.
if she hasn't noticed eye-rolling at her expense up to this point, she will soon. Perhaps something about success being about being brave enough to transcend the average? I didn't need much bravery at that age, but by the time I graduated high school, being different and doing more meant doing it on purpose. It won't necessarily always be the easy choice.
Good for her for being so independent though... perhaps the "ease up on yourself" advice might be more appropriate, though perhaps that goes against my other response?
Yeah, I'm not good at this either...
"Don't forget to enjoy the ride."
I know that seems like sort of a ridiculous thing to tell a ten-year-old, and maybe this ten-year-old doesn't need it, but it might have changed my life to hear that a little more often.
Plastics.
I wish someone had warned me how horrendous puberty would be - but that, like all things, it too would pass. Is that appropriate for a 10-year-old? I'm not sure.
I'm with K--as I read your post, I immediately thought, "I would tell Miss M. that puberty sucks, but life on the other side will be great!"
Be nice to your siblings now (if she has them). Someday they may be all the family you have left.
Don't hold grudges - life's too short to spend pissed off.
Nobody's life is perfect. Better to have your own troubles than someone else's.
Since in a few years (or less), she'll be dumbing down for boys, I'd include some message like "it's never dumb to be smart."
I like your two pieces of advice, though. Applicable in many situations!
Tell her to love abundantly--herself, her family, her friends, her stuffed animals, life, broccoli, the way the leaves turn yellow on the ginkgo trees, the sound of water on the shore, the Jonas Brothers (yes, even the poor, benighted Jonas brothers), freedom, the joy of the written word, the way a rabbit licks it's front paws and ears, the smell of incense in church, the sound of squirrels on the roof in the morning...love, love, love...
Tell her that no matter what she might hear, high school is not "the best years of your life." I don't know where I picked that up, but it made me fairly miserable.
Ooh, so many!
Love your body like it's your best friend. Remember that you are the only person (besides your mom, for a while) who gets to decide what happens where your body is concerned. Period.
Puberty, periods, crushes and love are all a big roller coaster. The low points will always swing back up if you wait long enough.
Trust your instincts.
Learn as much as you can about food and finances before you leave the house.
Someday, leave the house.
And lastly, sometime before you turn eleven, sit down and write a note to yourself with advice for when you have a ten year old. Have your mom file it away for you somewhere, so when you create this book for your own kid, you can give them advice from ten-year-old you.
If anything, or anyone makes your stomach feel "ucky", believe your stomach and leave.
Oh, you know what? I am constantly complaining about what a crappy job my parents did raising me, but one of the things they did right is exactly what a number of people here have suggested: they warned me that puberty would suck but also promised me that it would end and really be over someday. You know, I have to say, it really did help, and that knowledge that things don't last forever has carried over to other stuff.
I don't think they told me when I was ten. I think they waited 'til I was 11 or 12. But I had older siblings, so what my parents were really doing when warning me and promising that it wouldn't last was contextualizing my observations.
Either way, it was good, and I remain grateful.
I wish someone would have told me that your real friends are the ones who truly want to see you succeed. And so you shouldn't waste your time with all the rest.
Thank you all so, so much for your ideas. This is why I love the hive mind!
I'd tell her to steer clear of bubble gum pop, read banned books, and always, always be smarter than the boys.
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