I have always offered Dear Daughter sips of wine, even in public. She doesn't always take me up on it. At this point, she doesn't much care for the taste of wine, won't touch beer and gagged when I offered her a sip of my dram on St. Patrick' day. Even at the Communion rail she prefers intincture. If a kid won't drink sticky port, it's a pretty good sign she's not going to be raiding the cabinet while my back is turned. While the Norwegian and I enjoy wine with meals a couple of times a week, we're far from anything that could be called "drinkers." What we're trying to show Dear Daughter is that alcohol is to be ENJOYED, not inhaled. So far, the message seems to be getting through. Sounds like you're doing a great job with Rocketboy as well, especially if he's able to influence his friends in such a mature way.
I see no problem lessening the taboo of alcohol. Growing up, the kids always got a small goblet at their holiday place setting for a little watered-down vino, if we wanted. And it might sound cliche, but European nations, like France and Italy, have been treating the young'uns to that very thing for...well, probably forever.
I *would* caution, though, since underage drinking is illegal, it be done in the comfort of your home. Allowing your child even a sip in public can have legal ramifications for everyone--you, the server (waiter/sommelier/steward), and the business establishment. As a wine professional, I know the ramifications! That said, though, I think a nice, fruity Beaujolais is pretty kid-friendly.
And a kid who eats olives like candy has to be about the coolest!
I don't drink, because I have never been able to cultivate a taste for alcohol. Yuk. I do like to smell red wine, though. It's a wonderful scent.
Mr. T drinks the occasional beer and wine and The Kid thinks they both smell gross, and so makes a show of being disgusted by it. Which means we don't have much of an issue.
My brother, on the other hand, found one of my grandfather's orphaned martinis when he was five, drank the whole thing and got a bit drunk. As far as I know, Brother (now 41) has no problem with alcohol, even though we do have some family history of alcoholism. But of course, the plural of anecdote isn't data, etc etc.
Our Monkey (3 yrs last week!) had so far been satisfied with "no, you can't have any.. this is a mommy/daddy drink" until last night. When I had a glass of merlot. I offered him a chance to smell it and that killed his curiosity right quick.
I think the key is the type of alcohol being offered. My Dad always drank nasty stuff like Irish Whiskey and BlackBerry Brandy, so when he let me have a "taste" it was aweful and put me off from ever asking again until I was 18. Then I discovered wine coolers tasted almost exactly like Kool-Aid. And Peach Schnapps.
So I've pretty much decided the Monkey can taste the beer, wine and hard liquor but not the sweet stuff like my White Russians that too closely resemble chocolate milk.
I stuck my finger in my wine last night and let my 4-year-old daughter lick it.
Is that wrong?
Seriously, I want to know. I didn't think it was a big deal until I read that early childhood exposure to alcohol thing.
Good Lord. There's just so many ways to screw up your kid.
We were 12 years in Europe, so I think that shaped the kids' attitudes and ours. It jsut wasn't a big deal there. Especially with our Hungarian landlord brewing up a barrel of palinka every year, ha!
I've always let the kids have a taste if they ask. My eldest is 20, 2nd year in college, and she's about as close to a tee-totaler as one can get. She's probably had 3 glasses of wine altogether in her life, won't even do champagne on New Year's, which I allow in the house, even when she was still at home.
My younger 2 (18 & 15) aren't anti-alcohol, but they're not jonesing for it. I know my 18yr old has passed up opportunities -- her car is more important to her than the lure of the drink, I guess. They do the New Year's glass, but tastes of beer/wine are just 'meh' for them now.
For my kids, I'd say it definitely worked to take the mystery/allure out of it.
What I think is interesting about the allegation that early exposure to alcohol makes it more likely for a person to become an alcoholic is that in Places Other Than America, children are commonly allowed access to alcohol by their parents. It's not like America has lower instances of alcoholism than France or Italy because of our Puritan taboo.
Also, before sources of clean water became plentiful, the entire human race relied on a regular diet of slightly alcoholic ale and watered wine for all liquid intake other than soup! WTF with our "current research" about alcoholism and children?
Actually, the Puritans were beer and wine drinkers, and expert makers of hard cider. They just objected to public drunkenness (it was a sign of overindulgence).
My parents allowed me to have a glass of wine on holidays, and after I turned eighteen I could have wine or beer with them at dinner, provided I wasn't planning on driving anywhere afterward. It was a very humane introduction to alcohol.
We were always offered a tiny amount of wine in a little glass at holidays as children, and allowed a small glass once we were teens. We do have one alcoholic grandpa and one out of the 8 of us regularly abuses (not just uses) drugs, but no drinking problems that I know of.
My parents never let my sisters and I taste, but they didn't drink very often when we were around. Even when they had friends over, their friends were very careful not to overindulge. Most of their drinking was done in restaurants as part of a meal with friends, when we were home with the babysitter. Sometimes we went to family events where alcohol was served, and on the way home we would get a very casual mention of what was eaten and drunk as part of talking about the party. My dad was also very frank about the times when he had had too much and was not afraid to let us see him turn the car keys to my mom. I had zero interest in drinking as a result, because my parents treated it as something you needed to have control over so it wouldn't have control over you. I don't think their approach would work on most children, though.
My husband's parents didn't drink at all, ever, but they didn't talk about it, either. He spent a fair amount of college getting smashed every weekend before he decided he disliked hangovers more than being drunk.
For our family, we deliberately let the kids have a small sip of a very dry wine when they were 4 or 5, so they have zero interest right now. We haven't decided yet what to do when they are teenagers, but I think we'll use a similar approach to how we're handling driving. We just sometimes make comments about driving behaviors we see when we're out and about, and they are now developing a sense of what constitutes good driving and bad driving. (Unfortunately, this also means they police the speed limit for us a lot.)
I suspect the real link is that kids who reapeatedly have access to alcohol (exposure at early age) are more likely to come from families with alcohol issues. My dad is a hard drinker, bordering on having issues with it now. My siblings and I regularly were allowed beer and liquor. As an adult, I rarely drink, but I have 2 sisters who do not drink because they have alcoholic tendancies if they do drink (binge drinking).
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