Wow. That is a lightbulb moment... I never really thought about it before, but my friends' parents might as well have been imaginary as far as my parents were concerned. If they'd been in touch, adolescence might have yielded an entirely different outcome.
My son complains about me coordinating with his girlfriend's mom about things, making sure we're on the same page. Like, if you're watching a movie at her house, does that mean in the living room, in the bedroom with the door open, or are their rules ok with the door closed? I'm a living room mom. I need to know whether that's the case at the other end. He may not like it, but oh well. He'll get over it.
I just had an interesting thought. While our kids are little (mine is 10), we routinely talk to the other mom. I let her make her own plans but I make sure to remind her to make sure the other kid has checked with her mom. And I have to take her over there so I get to talk with the other parent.
So where does the break happen, that we don't check with the other mom or even meet her, or whatever. I guess what your post says to me, is to make sure to continue some of that even when she is old enough to get there on her own.
I grew up in a fairly traditional southern baptist household, and we really weren't allowed to go anywhere with friends if our parents didn't know, hadn't met, or hadn't spoken to their parents. This was the case up through all of high school, and I think was fairly common with our peers.
Commenting by HaloScan
