Good post. And you're right.
I also love to see the looks on people's faces when I admit I write Romance. And then throw in the part about Erotic Romance. *arched eyebrow*
Such as it is. *shrug*
And no. Those who don't write will never know. CAN never know. Because it's not in them.
And there's no vaccination.
Grins*
Ah yes. It is incredibly hard to walk this line. Because you care about what you do, and the business is SO complicated and difficult to understand and explain.
Writing is like walking naked through a room of family and friends. I am an introvert in many ways--a cantankerous one perhaps, so having to explain exactly what it is I do can be very painful. And then there are the comments about the romance genre.
Like, 'well maybe when you get better at it you can write better books?'
Makes you want to slap your head off the table.
Good luck 
This is why we have online friends
I totally agree with you. You know I heard a commercial on the radio today, talking about some movie channel and it was a hero from a "trashy book" talking. Yes, that's what they called it.
I'm starting not care what people think about what I write. I'm loving it and enjoying what I am doing.
Yeah, appreciating yourself is the answer. For me, I also found that I had to get over feeling embarrassed about writing romance for the very reasons already mentioned. When I was only a reader I'd say I'm reading a romance, but [insert more scholarly book here]is next on the stack; then when I started writing I'd say I'm writing a romance first until I break in and then I'm going to write [insert more literary genre]. But I'm not. I love romance, I love reading romance, I love writing romance. So I've started saying that I'm a romance writer without any "but". I'm a romance writer and I'm proud of it.
I agree totally and most of the time don't shy from admitting I'm a writer. Imagine my surprise yesterday when I saw this from Miss Snark "Here is a bonus clue cause clues come in threes today: don't ever talk about your novel to anyone socially until it's published. Ever."
Huh? I mean, what do we say then if someone asks about what we do. Normally I agree with most of what MS says, but this one just doesn't make sense to me.
She's addressed it in a separate post now - Unpubbed Novels...Social Pariah. It seems she's assuming all our social situations include editors and agents, which makes a little more sense.
Hi Rene!
I completely understand what your saying, and for me personally I think of it in terms of... I didn't understand how much went into getting published -- am still amazed at the amount of 'doors' one must get through to the final product. And if I am, how are they ever going to understand. Especially when you know its something were you to try and describe it to them is going to bore them to death before you can even finish item number one on your reasons of why it takes so long? Of why your still not published. My hubby is an example -- though I want to make it known for sure -- he is supportive. He trys, he just doesn't get it. For example, the thought that even once you get an agent, its not a for sure thing, totally baffles him. Don't even try to explain to him how you could have a bidding war for your book and still end up at square one again because the top editor for the company who won in the end decided it just really wasn't right. Besides making him mad... he would definitely give up at that point.
I generally keep it to myself nowdays -- and those that ask, who already know, I just tell them -- nope not yet, with a big smile. Totally confuses them - they would be giving up and can't figure out why I'm smiling. They don't understand that I've actually gotten through five doors on this last ms which means only 95 more to go... A huge improvement froom that first door which shut on me so fast I had scraps left behind! They don't know that I've learned the difference between passive pov and interactive pov... that I've learned what a trade option is or what an option out clause with good time lines would be... And they don't know I'm loving my newest ms I'm currently writing on and think its better than any of the others.
They can't know/understand... its not their passion. But that's alright. I just smile and assure them I'm having fun writing... then change the subject.
Cole
Good post, Rene. I'm just the opposite of you, though, in that everyone knows I'm a writer. It's been hard to conceal since I've been doing it since the 6th grade. And since I've been doing it so long, it's become a part of my identity. When I tell people I'm a writer, they usually are pretty excited about it. It helps, though, that I actually have a dayjob that involves writing. That sort of breaks the ice.
Yep, yep, yep.
I was at a book release party and talking to a woman whose debut novel has a release date. I felt like an ass when I identified myself as a writer.
But what else am I? I'd rather be an unrepresented author than a stay-at-home-Mom. At least saying I'm a writer shows I do more than eat Bon Bons, watch Oprah, and gab on the phone about the latest stepford styles, ya know?
(although, I'm starting to think about saying, "I run a successful blog until my book is published. No date yet; be sure to check my blog for details.")
It doesn't get any better when you do sell. Lots of people have asked me how much I paid for my cover art. They don't seem to realize it's a publisher thing. And so many asked whether I was planning to continue my day job. Eeek. I'm so not there yet!
Best of luck with those submissions!
What a great reminder. I get frustrated that my own hubbie does not take my writing more seriously, but while I talk ad nauseum about what the kids have been up to, I don't talk about my characters or the writing much.
(hee hee We share a name. I thought that was too cool. lol)
And I've always said it loud and proud that I write romance. Ever since I first tried my hand at it way over a decade ago, I never hid what I wrote. There was a time when I used to have to take a bus to work and I was so ashamed of the covers of the "bodice-ripper" romances I would read. And then I just stopped caring and proudly read the books, ignoring the reproachful glares of the other passengers.
When I tell people I'm a writer, of course the first question is "what do you write?". I look them right in the eye and tell them, "paranormal romance." Usually I get a questioning look, so I clarify and tell them I write about vampires. I LOVE the look on people's faces after I drop that bomb. lol
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