This list will force me to take a long hard look at how I am living my life. LOL
Hey! I'm older than 30, but I say "later, skater!" a fair amount, seeing as I'm connected with the Detroit Derby Girls (Detroit Roller Derby) as their announcer. Seeing as they all roller skate, what better way to say "goodbye"!?
It's too bad we can't settle our political differences with the LLLs by challenging them to a "match race," i.e., three laps around the roller derby track, with "anything goes"! But the LLLs would be too chicken to accept such a challenge. 
Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash
Well of course.
You're supposed to say "he shoots he SCORES"!
I've never done any of those things, with two exceptions:
My dad did my taxes when I was in college, and;
Buy fireworks? What kind of man doesn't buy fireworks? Right now I live in a sissified California town that doesn't permit their sale, but as soon as I'm out of here we're lighting up the sky every 4th.
Yep. I'm cool with the list except for See-Dub's point on fireworks. I'll never be too mature to buy stuff that blows up. Or to make home brew. Or to stash a little reefer in case my grandma needs it for her glaucoma.
Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.
LOL
I didn't check out the original list, but I didn't see in your list:
Wear a PONYTAIL! (or long hair for that matter)
the most stupid looking thing for a guy
equal to (white) guys who now shave their heads
also equal to the cretinous looking thin little goatee
or Elvis type side-burns
So I shouldn't call Dirtballs as "dirtballs" any more?
Don't txt message the female Townhall chater for she isn't going to txt back despite the fact I still have skimmy bathing suit photo she gave me.
Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.
This one I disagree with, there's no indication of immaturity in this, those shows are very impressive and the music is, of course, great.
Related to the Ponytail comment by allessandra:
White guys with dreds. At any age, really.
Not bad. The only one I can't agree with is "Call 'shotgun' before getting in a car."
That should be every American male's birthright until he kicks the bucket...
Thank goodness... I've got two years left!
You're supposed to say "he shoots he SCORES"!
...and you're supposed to be going for 3-pointers anyway.
And those fireworks? Uh, those are for the kids.
Tap tap - Peace out.
Fireworks for kids!??!?! We aren't talking about sparklers and firecrackers here Geoff. I brought back full mortar-style arial fireworks from NC when I drove to Florida last year. Kids would blow their own heads off with that kind of stuff.
I'm OK with
'Ask a woman, "Hey, you got a license for that ass?"'
and
'Purchase fireworks.'
But I agree mostly with the rest.
Sherard, NC?? Come on, give the correct state iit's "props". One of the few thing we got going for us in South Carolina is that we're known for our legal fireworks.
Not buying fireworks is positively un-American?
I mean, they explode! Everyone knows, America is all about the explosions.
(In any case, this list doesn't apply to me at all and won't for many more years. Suckers.)
Ditto on "Purchase fireworks" -- I drop at least a hundred bucks a year on fireworks for 4th of July.
And homebrewing? That's an art that few men under the age of 30 do well, in my experience.
Sherard:
I guess my tongueincheekian dialect must be too heavily accented to be understood. Oh well.
What, pray tell, is an "ironic" moustache?
What, pray tell, is an "ironic" moustache?
If you have to ask, you should probably shave.
A hundred bucks for fireworks? Between my wife and me, we usually spend at least $500. This year, they may even let us (Indiana) set them off on our own property. That would be nice, because we won't have to go to one of those (ahem) state-approved sites. 
If you have to ask, you should probably shave.
After further thought, I nominate Gonzaga guard, Adam Morrison, as having this year's most ironic 'stache. Can I get an amen?
You try NOT air drumming to "Won't Get Fooled Again"!
Ok, what is Hacky sack?
I felt a little nauseated after reading that list, but the Pepto-Bismol pink of the comments window is soothing.
I'd also add the air drumming is acceptible to Phil Collin's "In the Air Tonight"
Also forgot to add to the list:
Wear pants that hang low enough for your underwear to show
Refer to your friends as your "peeps" or anyone as "dawg"
Haven't taken a camera to a nude beach in years.
It's OK to bring a ruler isn't it?
It's ok. It's just sad.
Oh, and please, Over 30's......
No more number "3" decals and little Chevy and/or Ford boys wizzing on the opponents logo, stuck to the back of yer pickup truck window.
No more DocMarten-type shoes with dress pants or business suits.
I'd never heard this phrase before, "later skater", but I'm going to start using it. Especially on the phone and when talking to my friends' kids.
Also, you're never too old to buy fireworks. As you get older they should get bigger and by the time you retire the whole block should be coming to your house for the annual 4th of July extravaganza, but the idea that you can be too old to buy fireworks is just plain crazy.
It's gotta be a trey if you are shooting into the trash can.
Do you have a license for that ass is kind of catchy. Ranks up there with "you've got an ass like a French model".
Firewoks are only cool if they are capable of causing physical harm., and bought in large amounts, ie. cherry bombs by the case every year. My neighbors, and their pets, hate me.
Ironic moustache? Is that anything like that cheesey porn 'stache that Morrisson wore? If that kid wasn't so good, he would have been comical.
Proud owner of an Atlanta Falcons jersey #69, with the name Ron Mexico. I have never worn it, but laugh everytime I see it on the wall in my basement.
Next to your flashing neon "Bud Light" sign, right?
Nobody, but nobody trash talks my twisted apart Oreo's. I mean, how am I supposed to make cheesecake crusts, and what am I supposed to do with the Double-Stuffed filling? Waste it? I think not, Missy.
Addendum to Alessandra's ponytail comment. (11:03)
Men who are BALD on top, and wear a ponytail. UGH!
I flashed gang signs while naming my pets after Middle Earth characters.
Does that even out?
Hey, I can one up that "Ask a policeman" no no. ("You ever shoot anybody with that thing?")
The cop who recovered my stolen car with my gun thankfully still in it (here in California we aren't allowed to carry them on us) asked me in a hostile voice: "What do you have a GUN for????"
What else could I say, as I looked him in the eye: "In case I need to SHOOT somebody."
I pretty much expect a policeman to understand that the first duty of citizenship is to be prepared to defend oneself and others. After all, this is what they have chosen for their life's work. But surround them with a department that is bent on achieving a monopoly on force and some will succumb to that mindset.
Taxi ride to retrieve your stolen car, $40. A chance to rib an anti-gun COP, priceless.
I did thank him for being so quick to track down my vehicle, and I found out one thing that anti-gun police are good for.
If you ever get your car stolen in California, don't forget to mention that it has your gun in it. They found mine in an hour. They must have put an APB out! Awesome.
Everybody knows that the correct response to the query, "Are you ready to rock?" is to chamber a round in your model 1911, engage the safety and say "Cocked, locked and ready to rock!"
"Hold his lighter up at a concert."
Does it count against you when you do it ironically? Because I did this just 2 months ago, at a performance by a string quartet.
"Ok, what is Hacky sack?"
Simon, I believe you folks over there across the pond (as opposed to The Pond) call it 'football.'
*looks around* WHAT?!?!
Oh ok - cheers Wonderduck.
Catch you all next week.
"Sherard, NC?? Come on, give the correct state iit's "props". One of the few thing we got going for us in South Carolina is that we're known for our legal fireworks.
JFH "
Made the obligatory stop at Pedro's just last week, thankyouverymuchsouthcarolina. This year I'm trying out 4-stage mortars.
"You try NOT air drumming to "Won't Get Fooled Again"!
Gordon"
Or "Liar" on Queen's first.
Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.
Now just a durn minute!!
I would suggest that only someone OVER 30 has the class, refinement, and disposable income for this.
The under 30 set are still playing quarters with Mickeys and OE 800 40 ouncers, or crushing empty Bud cans on their forehead.
No more Rock n Roll Fantasy Camps, Tony.
Sparkle - you were right, it was hanging right between the bud light and coors light neon signs. bit, I got rid of them when I quit drinking a couple years ago.
Can we add to the list?
60. Rely on men's magazines for character and behavior pointers.
What the hell is wrong with fireworks? When you want to make noise, but don't feel like cleaning your piece, they're perfect. Also, they run the cats off the roof of my trailer when the little bastards get up there.
But what if I AM ready to rock?
Bah. If my 7 yo daughter wants to skip, I'm skipping with her, so there! Nyah!
OH, and the 6'2" 300# guy doing a lunch run with 3 ot54.hers had _better_ say 'shotgun' before his 20-something skinny co-workers do, or it's extra time at the chiropracters...
Tom, I carry my M1911A in condition one. Always ready to rock.
A hacky sack is not a football. It is a little, soft, bean-filled canvas/cloth ball that is maybe 3 inches in diameter.
You can play by yourself or it is much more fun with a group of four or more people. You throw it up in the air, kick it with your heals, bounce it off your chest, head, whatever. The only rules are it cannot touch the ground and you cannot use your hands.
It's damned hard but fun once you get the hang of it.
Course, it's probably true that if you're over 30, you shouldn't be doing it. Then again, I never did like the saying "Act your age!"
reverse_vampyr,
"But what if I AM ready to rock?"
Go to your favorite bar and dance. Or get some concert tickets. please
.....or start your own band.
Dave,
Some folks in "certain services" think those are best kept in the armory until i slip into my "go-faster-pants".... and most armorers are nervous sorts...
So air-drumming is out, but air-guitar is still fair game? Yesss!!!
OMG i totally know someone who does like 90% of that stuff!!
A friend of mine's daughter went to a concert recently, and he made some comment about holding up a lighter. She looked at him like he'd grown antlers or something, and pointed out that kids today hold up their cell phones.
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