Jeanne, if we try to mold others to our way of thinking, we'd lose the creativity we hope to generate. Thanks again.
Thank you, Robyn, for providing the inspiration and allowing me the freedom, whenever I visit, to generate ideas to add to your own excellent ones!
Jackie, I'm not surprised that a leader and coach like yourself knows the pause is discomfiting but there is so much wisdom in waiting for reflective input from individuals in your learning circles. A person's mind searches for the best personal connections to your topic. That's why "significant" answers emerge.
Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate your visit and your comment.
Jeanne, I can see the wisdom in a to the point intermediary question to keep minds off the silence and on the topic at hand. The human brain easily loses focus, so that would really help target the focus.
Thanks for an excellent tip.
Hi Robyn - I have come a bit late to this discussion. Like Jean I am a member of Toastmasters. I also train in public speaking skills.. We advocate the power of the pause - in this case to let the message of what we have said just settle ,(hopefully ) make sense and provoke response.
On the other hand - as a coach - I know how important it is to be silent for just a little bit longer than is comfortable in "normal" circumstances. That extra second or two is often when the coachee comes up with something significant.
And I too love blogging for the reasons mentioned.
That's really true, Robyn. The discomfort of significant pauses during a presentation can really block the generation of ideas in the listener. After all, it's easy to ask a question -- particularly a previously prepared question -- but it isn't quite as easy to answer it! Since we presumably want thoughtful answers to our questions, we need to allow our audience a little time to think. That's why I believe those intermediary (sort of leading) questions can be helpful. They relieve the tension created by the uncomfortable silence, freeing everyone's mind to focus on the topic under discussion, rather than on the silence waiting to be broken.
It's always great to have one or two confident people in the audience to free everyone of their intellectual inhibitions and get a healthy discussion started!
Geology Joe, we're on the same page here! Thanks for your visit.
Hi Jeannie, your idea to ask an additional contemplative question might spark an idea for some. Have you noticed as I do that surface answers come quickly, but really thoughtful answers might take a little more time.
I've also noted that once a more confident person presents an idea, that the ice is broken and that we hear from many others. It's really worth it because the people in attendance take so much more away.
Thanks for the follow-up!
Jean, thanks for the information on Toastmasters. I've heard good reports on it. You make a good point that once we grow in skills they offer, it's time to move on.
I was taught it is always better to pause than to 'ahhhh, mmmmmm' your way into the response.
Though such pauses can be uncomfortable, rushing in to fill up the silence can deny one's listeners the time they need to fully think through a concept, which isn't much of a favor for one's audience. Perhaps preparing a few intermediary questions in advance -- casual, contemplative questions which can help move the audience toward a conclusion -- would prove helpful in such situations. This would likely be better than moving on to the next point before the first concept has been fully explored -- and at the same time, would help fill up that deafening silence.
Robyn,
It wasn't about courage, it was about taking time to think. That's not what Toastmaster's was aiming for.
Toastmaster's is a great organization for learning to speak in public, but I like writing better because it lets me go into more depth. I have many fond memories of the years I was in the organization, but eventually it was time to move on.
I would heartily recommend it to anyone who is shy about speaking in public.
Jean, like you, blogging gives me a chance to dig into ideas, research them and "play" with them before I share with others. You have a wide readership and I'm sure that helps muster courage you need to share ideas in Toastmaster networks. And that's powerful Intrapersonal Intelligence.
I apologize for delay in responding. My work load's overflowing and I purposely took a break to finish a blog I started last week. Writing and thinking refreshes my spirit and energy. Do you find that as well?
Your comment about intrapersonal intelligence was right on. I was very aware of that when I belonged to Toastmasters International. During Table Topics we were supposed to be able to talk for 2 minutes on a subject just given to us. I noticed my inclination was to be silent and just watch what was going on in my head...there were a lot of connections and I wanted to see them and sort them out before I said anything. That's why I love blogging...I get a chance to think and play with ideas before I share them with others.
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