nice use of tension, i was hooked.
practice makes perfect, but the start needs to lose a little; and the story is perfectly wound up
rock on!
SEV | Homepage | 05.30.05 - 11:38 am | #

you're writing a book here? blogrolled you )
karma | Homepage | 05.30.05 - 8:52 pm | #

brilliant! kalakitenga!
curses | Homepage | 05.30.05 - 11:48 pm | #

intense
billy | Homepage | 05.31.05 - 2:37 am | #

There is good use of tension here. It builds well and I found myself actually growing anxious while waiting for them to get caught. I also like the two very different personality types of your two main characters. You could be on your way to a book here Rohsun. A good first draft.
easywriter | Homepage | 05.31.05 - 11:38 am | #

cool man.wasnt there a hint of 5 point someoen in here , if uve read it.
abhinav | Homepage | 06.01.05 - 10:54 am | #