Drop your snowflakes here...
I can understand the whole "people expect you to be the same" thing. Although I was born and raised in the US and consider myself to be an American, because I look like and speak Japanese, everyone in Japan expects me to be like them. As you know from being here, Japanese people are very big on being "accepted" by the group or society as a whole. That's why there are so many cultural rules to follow. This is not so in the US because it is a mixing bowl of all different kinds of cultures. People are expected to be different, and they are accepted for who they are.
For me, I refuse to "accept" and "adapt" because I feel that I do have a choice..
After living out of the country for 5 times longer than you, I realised tat there are many things which I want in life but can never get them here..
So it is just a matter of time before I leave again, although I must admit that my parents haven't stop trying to get me to stay..
Crownedfish & Imm : we are indeed a niche group of people. :p it's like we're neither here, neither there... and for that, i'm thankful that i'm not alone hehe
I can understand how you feel, frm my experiences of coming home for holidays in Msia - although I must say, the decision of 'truly coming home' hasn't had its full-blown effects yet (until such a decision is made). I remember my 1st trip back for a holiday after being in NZ - that was only after 6 months of being in NZ - so no difference was felt. But my last trip home (after not being home for >1.5 yrs) --- there was a difference. Wasn't really a good or bad difference. Maybe good in the sense that some things were 'familiar'... being with family, friends, etc. Bad differences..well, I dont know, it's hard to tell - I guess in some ways I became more cynical or indifferent (I know, i know, both are pretty extreme traits, it's hard to explain this) of ppl's behaviour (eg. small-mindedness, thinking the world revolves around them not realising there's a whole new world out there or ppl just dont bother) , but funnily, in some ways i was more accepting of some things that I would have tsk-tsked at when i was younger. LOL...that's a moot point.
But I guess it really depends on the sort of mind frame set you have.
Before going back the last trip, Albertus was set on telling me that i can only 'last' for 2 wks in Msia and will start missing my 'freedom' in NZ (supposedly feeling suffocated from being in NZ). Surprisingly, that was not so. I embraced the social 'stuffiness' - whatever u call it. But having said that, I must admit that that was prolly so because I knew I was on 'holiday' (again, there's the mindset there). But whatever it is,my 2nd trip home convinced me that I would only be too happy to be back home....as compared to where i am now. Another moot point a future PM session, I know. *wink*
Of course, your obligations and responsibilities are more apparent when ure home - after all, u grew up surrounded with these social norms - so u cant expect it to go away at the snap of ur fingers. It just takes a bit of getting used to after some time.
The key is not to set any expectations, and not to expect ppl to assume 'uve changed' - these are the same ppl who have not been overseas for an extended period of time like u have, they have no knowledge of ur experiences, so to them it's only fair to say u couldnt have changed much 
But having said that, there have been extreme cases where someone's changed wayy too much that society is no longer able to fathom the change, hence imposing a level of stress to adapt, change and accept on both sides.
ok ok i know im waffling here, but my point is this - embrace the change, learn not to expect anything, and trust me - it may be easier then. "take the good, leave the bad".
Adele, I'm not disagreeing with your points above. And if I hadn't come back "for good(?)" this time, I would not have understood this "reverse culture shock" myself. Coming back for holidays and coming back for good are 2 totally different things, and hence, treatment from ppl are different too. i never complained when i came back for hols, heck i looked forward to it.
i'm myself am a big advocate of "setting expectations low, better still, none at all" (now you see why i get excited at simple things :p) but there are just some things which i will not be writing publicly for various reasons. hence, this post was merely a summary of my past 3 mths back here.
to be fair, most people are understanding or try to be, even though they have not gone through it themselves, but some of the closer ones are those who are expecting me to be, well, still the same. i will just assume they miss the old me.
as for "embracing the change". well if traffic has worsened, krazy drivers are everywhere, costs of living gone up while salaries remain the same, politics becoming a circus, pollution increasing and crime rates going up... i don't want to embrace it. let's just say the country is in a worse state than when i left it, and it's not like i didn't try to be positive
but of course, another pm session is most welcome to further discuss this hehe
ahhhhhhh u should be blogging about how uve think uve changed, babe? Don't u know? Blogging about it helps u to construct your thoughts better when you're thinking about this matter. It doesn't have to have controversial value or anything like that - just a simple reflection on how uve changed (bullet point system) - auntie getting old, very lazy to read long long entries.
the blog is more of an avenue to share with family and friends what i've been up to, while i keep a journal on more personal stuff. instead of figuring out how much and what to share on public space, sometimes i just keep to neutral happy stuff. but ya, bullet points are good idea.
yeah ppl love lists
Nothing is ever permanent in life. Today you are here tommorow you are at somewhere else. So there is no such thing as coming back for good. Be positive about life because there is so much more to look up to and learn eventhough you are back home. Your right about the problem the country is facing. I can just say, be extra careful all the time wherever you are, unlike in Japan where i can safely assume it is a generally safe country. Cheers!
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