Sometimes, I think overcoming our past, and ourselves is the hardest thing.
I've had to do it. It sucks, but the other end is so much better. Hard work usually is worth it after all.
And the cat's puckered asshole. I KNEW I should have eaten before coming online. :P
Thanks for being so open, Nadine. It sounds like you've come to a pretty great place and are moving forward in the right direction. I'm happy for you.
Also? The part about your cat made me laugh. Thanks for that 
I've been reading your blog for as long as I have because you are so honest and often you are going through the similar jumbled feelings about marriage as I am. Thank you for typing them out.
It's really good here on the other side of not giving up. I hope you're feeling it soon.
It has always terrified me when I've heard people say things like "having children will save our marriage!" or "having children will bond us together!".
My marriage is fine (good, wonderful, whatever) - but it's despite having kids, not because of.
Thanks for sharing. I've missed your regular postings, but I understand. I completely agree with your comment "Every horse thinks his load the heaviest." It's one of the reasons I love reading blogs written by people who are going through the same things I am. It gives me perspective and confidence to know that there are other moms out there facing the same struggles I am and doing everything they can to keep their marriages strong, raise great kids and find that elusive work-life balance. I love your writing and thanks again for sharing your stories.
Good to know I'm not alone on this topic.
I hate fighting in-front of Lulu because it reminds me of how I grew up and I really want to break that vicious cycle.
I had no idea marriage took so much effort after you had children- but in the end- it is worth it.
Good luck and thanks for being so open and honest about this.
I wish more people would be.
hey. nice to see my words there.....
Having just come back from vacation away at the sea puts things in perspective...nature does that for me...
I think we get so wrapped up in the daily grind and details and routine and trying to keep up with it all that we forget the point of life...which is to enjoy eachother, laugh, sing, love. Fuck the laundry and the pile of chores which are always left for moms to do. Go out, have ice cream with the kids, squeez Jan's ass tonight as he walks past you and he might raise an eyebrow. You guys need to validate eachother by spending quality time and not gettting angry or frustrated at eachother for who did or didn't do what...
I know, i know. I speak like this now, fresh from vacation, but in 2 weeks I will probably be ready to hit my man on the head with the iron with which he expects me to press all his work shirts..sigh...
p.s. cats rule and dogs drool
I can relate to this and have been going through so much of the same. The same shit I saw my parents do and thought I would do better. This is so hard.
I hope though that we can work hard enough to be lucky and one day look back and maybe laugh.
I love that Eckert Tolle quote and I applaud your decision to get through this.
It is such a struggle to keep things going and keep things happy. I am actually starting to come round to perhaps having only one chidl for this very reason - I know the stress having a second one will place on our marriage and we are just now coming out of such a dark period in general I wonder if I should just enjoy the relative peace....then I feel like a failure for thinking that because lots of people deal with more than one child...
Anyway - you're not alone in your feelings. It's hard as hell but unless there's abuse I think we owe it to our kids to stay together - I know it's politically incorrect to say so, but I don't think our kids are interested in our emotional or spiritual growth, they want and deserve an intact family.
Hang in there, girlfriend. It's not easy raising two little ones. As they get older and more independent I'm sure you will find that the hardest days will be behind you. Don't give up yet.
A beautiful, honest and powerful post.
Good for you on reflecting on yourself honestly... it's a terribly hard thing to do, and you have all my admiration for being able to do it.
Every horse thinks his load is the heaviest...
That's brilliant. I ought to have that engraved on the back of my hand. We usually do pretty well at dividing things, but this summer for the first time, I was FURIOUS at my husband over his seeming to feel he had a right to time to "do nothing." who has that? where is my nothing time? Huh? So, horses it is. Neigh.
I'm HARDLY the poster-child for a healthy marriage, but I wanted to tell you how much I admire you for the wisdom to know things need changing, and the courage and strength to attempt to change them. Good luck.
So far I have seen about half of the weddings I've gone to end in divorce. And all have small children. I, like Rob am not a poster child for a happy marriage, but I've always said little kids are the hardest on a marriage. It does get better the older they get. You remember why you got married. Peaks and Valleys. Good luck to working through it.
Came here from Petite Gourmand. I have friends who just finalized their divorce--still hard to believe.
This is my new fave blog. Your accounts are so very honest and inspiring. I hope things are working out for you? Or at least you are making head and tail of your own situation. half the battle is just making peace with what is happening with yourself. Look forward to reading more and hoping you have more aha moments
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