Share Your Thoughts With Seska
It's not just loss of common sense, it's a misinformed belief that gagging a woman is a sexual turn-on. That belief is projected in shock value studio porn. Forced anal is also part of that trap.
I used to think it was a young man's turn-on because that is what they are used to seeing in their porn and they have not been exposed to porn that focuses on mutual pleasure or genuine female pleasure (a pretty rare product), but it really seems to be a mix of ages who desire this kind of stuff.
Why do you think people are so quick to believe what they see in porn and try to emulate it and/or request it of performers?
In the US. we have a great divide between consumption of male commercial porn and venues for maturing our sexuality. Young men are taught the biology, but sexual partnering skills are absent.
Misogynist porn becomes the reference for real sex, when shame blocks growth in sexuality.
It is most frustrating how shame affects our sexuality. I wish more people were comfortable with their sexuality and were able to develop critical viewing skills. And this applies to all sorts of content and media.
Just ended a relationship with a late 40s man who loved to make me choke, gag, and drool. After 25 years of loving to give blowjobs I began to think something was really wrong with me! We had a D/s dynamic going on, which I enjoyed for many reasons, but the gagging as turn-on is still difficult for me. I felt, alternately, embarrassed that I couldn't take throat fucking and enraged to the point I wanted to punch him in the nuts. Sex is still kind of a mystery to me, despite the dedicated practice I've put in. Thanks, Seska, for bringing it up the way you did.
One thing I find immensely interesting about sex is that the idea of something (such as power dynamics) can be very arousing but the practical aspects of exploring a given act can be very difficult to deal with - painful, dangerous, uncomfortable.
We have to respect our bodies. We need to find a balance and not judge ourselves or others for not being comfortable physically or emotionally with certain acts. Sometimes the physical aspects of the act can trigger very legitimate negative reactions (your body goes to protect itself when it is chocking - not a big surprise to me). Especially when done so aggressively or with power dynamics involved.
Commenting by HaloScan
