I want to keep the thing stirring, now that the ice is broken. ~Sojourner Truth
i remember learning about perfoming gender in dr. knadler's class, or were we building about it in reference to bell hooks when you were in images of women in the media? i don't know the details but it is so real. so crucial.
relatively enlightened celebrities say not to believe your press, either good or bad and i often have to remind myself of this truth when i start getting caught up thinking about what people think about me/how i'll be received/yadayadayada.
i never anticipated how strong the tides of adulthood would push me towards giving a damn of any temperature about how others perceived me. then i started getting caught up trying to "perfom me" which is why i stopped blogging in the first place. too much of a stage. now though, i'm back and feel like i'm moving from my authentic core. i think it's particularly hard transitioning into adulthood, going after goals, wanting to achieve our dreams, being bombarded with the conversation that we're not good/pretty/smart/anything enough to be/have/do what we want. which is BULLSHIT dammit.
anyway sis, i feel you deep. but it's such a friggin prison. i truly honor the way you are moving through your blog because i think it illuminates the vulnerability that's often much easier to hide than just be with without judgement. congratulations mama.
at the end of it all, we'll figure it out. we need to be authentic for the sake of ourselves if nothing else. we deserve to shine.
i love you and thanks so uch for the wonderful message. you are my soulclap
umm yeah...greatest words ever received: "you are my soulclap." Damn. See I'm a marauding masquerader when it comes to these units of communication. I'm much better at manipulating other peoples words than coming up with my own which is why I guess I have always been a dj from rocking common room parties for moneyed international teens in Sha Tin or sitting at the feet of Caz and Starski in the village. Life supplies my breaks and I blend them but you, my dear, don't have to sample. Yep.
related unrelated musing: Showbiz & AG's 1992 album that featured the palm reddening "Soul Clap" was entitled Runaway Slave. Damn things have changed
MUCH LOVE FOR AMEL.
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