Now I so agree with you... In fact,as I read, I almost feel that there are tears welling up my eyes...
well, maybe cos I am slightly tipsy at the moment ... being desk bound to my endless world of mapping, with a wine glass in my hand, it being a Thursday evening (Australian standard Eastern time) with no date and mindfucked by a certain individual whom I happened to have an electronic tiff with...
well, what can I say? I for one know that as I get older, I am not getting any wiser...
The only advice I could proffer is- you'll figure it all out. just like how I tell myself....
you're a brilliant writer. here's wishing you all the best with this paramour of yours. what you two have seems too fucking good to give up. but that's just my two pennies worth. enjoy!
The desire of the forbidden fruit is most strongest. We all crave for the things that will bring forth our downfall but which we invite in anyways because we all see, wish, desire HOPE. With that, there is blessing and I wish you good luck.
Your first time reader.
Don't let him mindfuck you completely, we cannot have you put away in a mental institution...
But honestly, those tricks of dropping hints and shit whitout specifying, letting things linger unanswered, is very standard material and you know that, it is pickup 101. This guy probably does that routinely to all the girls he meet.
If you wanna let such cheap tricks fuck up your mind then feel free, but you are smart enough to see right through him.
Problem is you got a bad case of one-itis, maybe he will be your prince on the white horse? From what you write, probably not...
Sorry for the bad vibe of this reply, I mean no harm!
Cheers,
Vidar
This entry blew me away. For the longest time, I've always thought you were the invincible woman with your nonchalance towards men and sex. The Samantha Jones of Singapore. The untouchable. The empowered.
But to hear you go mad about the boy and fall for someone to that extent goes to show - that you are essentially still very much a woman like me.
This whole story was a 'been there, done that' for me. And the remnants ain't pretty.
Thank you for being so brutally honest with yourself and with us, the readers and silent spectators of your life.
I hope you'll realise that with such a situation, it's best to just wait, watch the whole thing sink and enjoy the ride while you still can.
Oh dear Vidar, this is going to sound like an awful case of "the lady doth protest too much" but I'll risk it anyway.
I am fully aware of the cheap tricks that men play. But without revealing the full circumstances, let's say that his confession cost him more emotionally than it did me. I am not the easiest person to well 'declare feelings' to.
I've been in this situation before and it has a direct bearing on my treatment of the present circumstances, so don't worry I won't be hanging up my high heels and moving to Bermuda anytime soon. (Now is that so-called prudence, wisdom or what?) I'm just aware of that it's messing with my head a bit. 
P.S. Cher, it takes a unique individual to mindfuck me, and an even more unique individual to let me cum all over his best friend's fingers. Alas, this time they're one and the same person. And yes, the dirty weekend was with him.
i take it that the dirty weekend was with him.
looks like you're pretty hung up with him. either you make the move n take it to the next level or u just keep him as a fuck buddy.
to pick up one dilettantep's point...
i is r ams also drunk, a bottle of bullet and a few beersdoes that to me... :P
wow. you put so eloquently put into words exactly what i recently went through but have been unable to describe without curling up into fetal position under the coffee table. i predictably (and as you know you will) got hurt, but such is life and matters of the sentimental nature.
i love your writing.
Long Cold Shower time Sash. It might just clear your mind - though you might be too far gone.
This one has "major disaster area" written all over it. You're likely to start out enjoying the mind-fuck and eventually descend to the depths of pointlessly fretting and over-analyzing each SMS.
Still, if you must go off and get your heart broken, then I suppose you can eventually file it away (just like you did with that Nate-hound episode) under the category "overall learning experience".
the human side is finally rearing its head
have been reading ur blog for awhile now and i must say i am addicted.. hmm.. wish you the best with this new guy.. though i bet if things work out, ur blog will be slightly less interesting.. but i wish u all the best anyway..
hah...u r a female after all...thank god..i was beginning to wonder...lol..
ok...all sarcasm apart..the simple fact that you realize you are being mindfucked is the element to getting yourself out of it....
i am a guy...and like a lot of guys...we play this mindufucking scenario like a harmonica...over and over...but the perfection to it is...most victims don't know that they are the "harmonica"...
thank god...u do...and there's nothing to be done here...but ride the waves....the higher the better....the more adrenaline that's pumped into your system, the higher the break point becomes...
as they say....crazy people don't know they are crazy...i m under the presumption that the same goes for mindfucking...
haha.. he's married
Somtimes we know that it's a disaster waiting to happen and the funny thing is, we are willing to be hurt in the course of it.
another fantastic entry Sash, really touches me. You go Babe!!
You are one hell of a good writer... absolutely brilliant.
Sorry for being such a smart ass, just keep in mind that you can pause to get some fresh air.
Cheers,
im an avid reader of your blog and what can I really say.... you write so honestly about what you enjoy in life and your experiences, hope that this works out well for you
Sash, hmmm...methinks the man in question here could be Anthony? 
Hold up...Hold up...theres this word i once learned in pre-school and in church. A word i never believed to be true, tho questions can be asked bout the strange happpenings during my existence....
I'll spell it for you
K
A
R
M
A
DAMN....I love this game....Only the weak perish! And from the looks of it.....so will you...............
life is just a screenplay it seems
Ola Babes
As usual,your writings are witty but this entry is full of melancholy and longing
Y not give your paramour a chance..You neva know
hmmm came across ur blog. seems trash really. its the same 'fuck' 'sex' 'pussy' theme for years. be innovative.
Just curious, is this guy and Anthony the same person ?
You write incredibly incredibly well.
My gawd if only i could paint pictures the way you write.
Please don't stop.
hey.jus do it.plunge head in into this depth.be glad you've been mindfucked girl.some of us wait forever for a guy good in the sack,charming and a looker to feel the same way.so go for it sash.enjoy it.dont go away regretting wad could have been.(:luck!
is he the same guy as "How Does It All Fit Together"? cos it seems to me, the same.
well watever it is, i can understand how u feel. i think just hv to take things easy and move on, do not let him take advantage of you unless it comes with a justifiable trade.
this strucks me "Of course, he is unavailable in every single way except sexually." as i think i have also gone thro that and im trying to get out of it too.
ah anyway that cld be part and parcel of life. ups and downs. yes, it can be very exhausting, but that's life. just do wat deems fit. u go girl!
I think you made all these up...I have serious doubts that these stories are real...maybe 50%...the rest are your wild imaginations!
Hmmm.. Don't think its Anthony. Anthony sounds more like her buddy to me.
How about some pictures? I am not a big reader.
She is too afraid to show her face if you know what I mean. Check out her profile picture...it's photoshopped to disguise her look.
Dear Anonymous and the countless others whose level of literacy has not surpassed the glorious days of "See Jane Run"...
I know I've disappointed you but perhaps you're not target audience for this blog. The Internet is a big place, so please feel free to peruse the abundance of sites that offer you the gratification of high-resolution pictorial pleasure (otherwise known as porn) and leave me to the devices of languid prose and Photoshop.
I won't take it personally.
Good one Sash- your serve back to the Anonymous.
Can you imagine? I was actually just thinking about how to serve it back to Anonymous regarding his comments without sounding offended (on behalf of anyone who cared and is an avid reader of your blog site).
As always, you aptly summarise the sentiments I feel. What can I say? You are a master of words to the craft of prose.
Respect once again
darn...
mindfucked indeed...
reminds me of a nurse I got to know in Taipei... she too was a stopover fuck that lasted for inexplainably 3 long whole years...
best time of my life - but sometimes I wondered if she fucked my brains outs was because of all the sadness she goes thru' seeing all the little ones die in her care... you see, she's a neonatal intensive care nurse... I guess the only way to experience life is to love like there's no tomorrow....
Independence and invulnerability.. crashes in the face of interdependence Independence ain't all it's made out to be. What really mindfucks everyone is interdependence and interaction. How many of us confess to be good at that? Everyone wants independence but few see beyond that. Nobody's an island, wherever this might lead, savor it and of course become a better person. Though I think the bar for all your other potential fuckbuddies has been raised yet again to new heights haha. Perhaps we all need to become better fuckers. You're such a nypmh sash Takecare!
woo hoo.. Congrats.. now u really make love both ways ; )
Dear Sash,
Glad that the weekend was all that you hoped for and more. I admire your candidness to share it all with us, your devoted readers. Life is about risking getting hurt - otherwise you cannot be touched. Your style of yarning about your yearning is way up there. It is a terrific good read.
Thank you ! :-D
P.S. .."high-resolution pictorial pleasure" .. indeed! Wonderful phrasemaking :-D
Sash,
Isn't the whole point of all the "sampling" to find the experiences that go beyond. Sex is great but it pales compared to wholehearted infatuation (mindfuck?) Just wait 'til you find yourself in love. Whether this turns out win, lose or draw, it is the driving force behind meeting (and fucking) new people. Enjoy the ride.
Hi Sash
An excellent entry! I'd say go ahead and risk getting hurt, for we all never know what will be if we never tried nor experienced love's rollercoaster... years on, you'll look back and be glad that how all these games have made you an even stronger and smarter person in love.
PS: And your serve back to the 'non target' audience of your block was great as well.
Hi Sash,
Can i see u when i go over to Hk this May?
Faithful reader of your life...
If I can summarise your human need for companionship in a word, it would be winter.
That's somethingI've come to realise after moving from Singapore to London.
You writing leaves me boyishly refreshed each time I come onto your Blog...you speak in a similar langauge style that flood my mind from time to time as I recall each carnal liason with pleasure.
I guess its always better to be mindfucked for once then never been mindfucked before...
Enjoy it whilst it last....
sash, i'm been so sad and stressed out these days. just not sure i should believe in relationships anymore... and now you're comtemplating going into one...
i know what it is to be mindfucked. it sucks though, knowing we all are masochists in so many ways. you never know if you don't try. like i always say. heck, let's give it a shot.
no conquests recently?
What do you think of Brad Pitt's partner-look new hair color? I think AJ - BP 's relationship is a freaky one, I believe in fact that AJ's mindfucking him. He's turned into a docile brown-mopped extra with a kid on his hips.
Listen to
Rage Against the Machine - Wake Up
your best entry, by a country mile.
Wow! What a weekend you've had. Sash, how will your coming weekend be like?
stellar and you're not the only one being mind-fucked at the mo.
since you have enough detachment to think that you're being mindfucked, it would be great to deal him what you're getting, and see what that goes.
do you ever have sex on mon tues or weds?
like ur entries.. always places ur feelings very very well on the spot.. like a WOAH feeling..=x
go along with it anyway. (: enjoy the ride!
Interesting, very interesting. Wanna hook up? It's either S or HK, and it's your call!
Hi Sash!
Been busy? Hey... Have not been able to catch up much with your stories after this blog. How have you been? Been having lots of fun I guess...
Anyway... Hope to hear from you soon...
yea yea. go on fucking more dicks in your life. i'd love to see you fucking like a pig in your 60s.
get a grip in your life. thankfully the world isnt abounding with nymphomaniacs like you.
Dude, chill. For some people, its a means of earning a living. Hope she saves before the retirement age of 30, because dreaming of a prince charming to automatically show up for her highness is only gonna leave her with no savings. A word of advice: Princes aren't stupid.
Hi,
Just stumbled across your blog and it's great. Can you email me - couldn't see contact details and would like to talk about possibly publishing some of your writing in a UK magazine
Cheers
Emily
So is that it then? You've ridden off into the sunset with the man of your dreams and we'll never hear from you again?
you write beautifully. lets just hope you don't get STDs.
Hello!
Here u can visit a new site:
webmaster@5-single.net
i made this my "post of the moment" on my blog. hope you don't mind.
wonderful writing here.
stumbled across your blog... cant help but admire how you could weave your words to form miraculous paintings... wish u all the best!
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