autobiology
Oh, Siona.
so much, here, that is so true. The best of these conversations I've participated in have still left the whites with guilt and the people of color frustrated, frustrated that in addition to suffering from the effects of white privilege (which they do, daily) they are somehow expected to make us white folks feel better, to let us off the hook.
The worst of these conversations -- well, you know how that is. Everyone gets riled up and hurt and furious. People start to lash out and say things they don't mean. It's ugly.
Have you seen Lee Mun Wah's Last Chance for Eden? This conversation, between nine people, is painfully and meticulously recorded over the course of a weekend in Ukiah. It's a great resource and humbling, that these people were willing to take such risks for each other and on camera. Not sure if it's appropriate for your group to see or not, but it taught me that whites have a lot of work to do BY THEMSELVES as a group on the topic of our racism, without involving anyone else as we struggle through the issues. Then maybe we're in a place where we can speak openly and honestly with everyone else.
As for what we can do, we can a) own up to our part in this, b) speak up when someone says or does something racist, rather than just letting it go, whether or not there are people of color around.
Keep working for change, dear Siona, as you obviously are. And keep reminding us all that we should be, too. Thank for that.
I've been struck by how easy I find conversation with most African Blacks, and how difficult with most American Blacks. Before I'd known any Africans, I used to be more disturbed by my discomfort with American Blacks: I thought they were caused by some sort of unconscious knee-jerk racial suspicion. But I think it's caused, rather, by a quite reasonable historical awareness: when you're part of a group that's screwed over another group, whether you were involved in it or not -- whether you benefited from it or not -- whether you wanted to be in the group or not -- it's going to make for uncomfortable relationships.
I no longer take that discomfort as a signal that there's anything wrong with me -- anything I've left undone or unconsidered. And it's certainly nothing wrong with them. It's simply my legacy, our legacy. It's not going away, not in my lifetime, & not in yours.
So what's to do? Well, mostly, letting go of the attachment to the idea that the discomfort shouldn't be there, that it signals that we, or they, or all of us, are somehow wrong. Discomfort is actually the appropriate, and probably, at this historical moment, inevitable consequence of all that's happened, and is still happening.
I think we tend to hold a fantasy that if we just came to grips with it and got it right, if we really worked out the expiation or the apology, if we really got it right in ourselves, we'd have easy comfortable relationships. But what if that's not true?
(I'm not saying *none* of my relationships with American Blacks have been easy and comfortable -- but in all my life, I think I can only count two or three such. And it had nothing to do with anything I did, or any way I was: they were just people with extraordinarily open hearts.)
"Discomfort is actually the appropriate, and probably, at this historical moment, inevitable consequence of all that's happened, and is still happening."
It's pretty difficult for people (or at least for me) to accept the idea that discomfort is ever the best thing. But, given that the other major options are obliviousness, indifference, or impossible and often insulting attempts at redress, I'm also coming to think it is. It's good to hear it said. (Er, see it typed.)
Siona: Maybe there's a certain amount of common ground to be found in that fact? A small sliver, if that much, but maybe not a barren one. Both populations (if I can make a shameful oversimplification for a second) are frustrated because they have to censor themselves. Neither group wants to confirm its own stereotype, but that urge is itself limiting what they can say.
Of course, you could be on thin ice (both intellectually and socially) just by suggesting that the two groups' problems, even in this restricted respect, are equivalent. So maybe it's not such a great idea. But... you do have to assume equivalence at some level, right? Only because the alternative is that the groups are basically and unalterably at odds. And that can't be right -- by which I mean there's evidence to the contrary.
Anyway...
The interesting thing is that a lot of the problems that hit along racial lines these days aren't so much the problem of racism against individual people, but a feeling of "otherness" toward certain groups - in particular your standard poor inner city blacks etc. People can see the behavior of the "others" as bad while lacking any empathy with their problems.
The US doesn't have more blacks in prison than South Africa than racism - racism here doesn't even faintly, faintly touch Apartheid racism there. The US has more people in prison in general, due to imprisoning huge numbers of nonviolent criminals for mainly drug-related offenses. Because the public dislikes anyone who commits these crimes, but also lacks empathy for the most prominent, non-white perpetrators.
I would actually call this one of the most critical differences between American politics and those of the rest of the western world. Here, poverty has always been associated with race. Not just as a statistical reality than non-whites are more likely to be poor, but more importantly that when any negative thought about poor people comes to mind they don't have white faces. Even in the absence of blatant racism, that's still thinking of an "outgroup" which is easier to distrust and harder to have empathy for.
So hypothetically speaking, someone without personal racism toward black people in general would still tend to be harder on the poor the more they're thinking of them as being some other race.
So you get this effect where suburban white people vote for a harsh justice system that mainly affects urban black and Hispanic people, and the people who suffer the most from the imprisonment *and from the crime* support much less harsh policies that are basically in line with the non-US western world.
This may be a simplistic view, but I can't help wondering if there isn't a form of xenophobia still built into our genes, perhaps dating back to a time when the human race was still a collection of sub-species. If that's the case, it allows us with some justification to separate out an instinctive, evolution-derived racial response, from how we handle that response within ourselves.
I know that I've been horrified and ashamed to find that on occasion I've harboured what I can best describe as racially-associated suspicion. If I were to act on that suspicion or allow it to further influence my thinking, then I'd have something to feel guilty about. But if I recognise that inner response as coming from a more ancient component of my psyche and so dismiss it for what it is - a redundant and useless emotional appendix - then I can move on without being held prisoner by the evolutionary past.
Thank you, all, for leaving these pieces. All your words help.
Pica: I'll look for Last Chance; I went and found a preview of the film and it looks extraordinary. And your reminder about speaking up, rather than letting overt racism slide, is so important. I think I struggle more with the systemic racism here; how do you point to the air we breathe? It's this that I feel so lost in.
dale: Everything you wrote . . . yes. And yes again. I think we all have that legacy wending through us, and I think it has far less to do with our skin color or national history than it does the mere fact of our humanity. This, for me, is something crucial; that is, that understanding that we are all still here together, open hearts and closed alike, and that discomfort and sorrow and anger are bound to be a part of it, and that too is okay. I don't know how to get it right - can anyone get it right? - but I do have a naive faith in at least the ability to keep trying to open.
Matt: Ai. So much has been said already; we've intellectualized about these problems for a long while and still -- of course! -- there's tension. But thank you, again, for the suggestion. I don't think the groups are frustrated by the fact that the feel the need to self-censor, but by the fact that the other is censoring . . . but this doesn't change the essential point of your recommendation. Thank you.
Ian and Andy: Thank you all for your thoughts, too. I think you're both right, but I also feel that, in this case, that talking about the reasons (be they biological or political) hasn't really helped in acknowledging what these systems DO to people, or what it's like to experience oppression or violence. I don't know. I think it's crucial, yes, to be aware of the various overdetermined factors that contribute to the perpetuation of this system, but I think, too, that it the blunt human element ought not be forgotten.
Anyway. I could write about the systemic issues forever; I'll try and hold back. All I really want to do is to thank you all for responding. I was worried this would be met with resounding silence, and it's nice to feel heard.
siona - I am completely unable to comment on this, but I wanted to tell you I read it and that it gave me food for thought in my cold, winter-white world. -d
Hi Siona
I am new to all this. Just read a few things of yours thru Zaadz and here. I feel some affinity, so here goes, from Australia.
With the pain of dealing with really big issues like bigotry, racism, ostracism on a personal level, I discovered that a kind of grieving process can arise. It is OK, and will pass with time. There may be tears, anger and frustration. It is all OK.
A world view adjustment may also help. As a buddhist, I accept that all of us, basically have a good heart and at best, act for the good of others, as well as ourselves. The problem is, that we are also all ignorant and deluded, so we mix up our good heart and intentions with selfishness and unawareness. This has helped me with some sort of acceptance, not forgiveness, for what seems to be wrong actions by myself and others.
It also helps to remember we cannot change the past, we can only act in the present. Our responsibility is to act with wisdom, now, in the present.
With love, Sky Dragon
sonia,
i think it's courageous of you to raise this issue explicitly within your group. prejudice and judgement are with us all the time and race is just a very obvious expression of that.
just today i listened to some research about job hiring which stated that given equal attributes, out of two potential employees, would you hire the thin one or the fat one.
90%+ said the thin one (i'm paraphrasing here). Replace that with Chinese, Maori etc (remember i'm talking from NZ) and the result would probably be the same....
recently i advertised for a researcher and had 2 applicants who i thought could do the job. one was about to start honours, the other had finished a masters. one was a young, white female local and the other a chinese male whose english was not very good but writing was fine. in the end i chose the chinese guy because i felt on balance he had more experience and i'm a good listener so could cope with his english.
i would say in most cases he wouldn't have got the job.
i remember years ago interviewing graduates at a us investment bank for sales/trading jobs. i interviewed the usual assortment of very smart focused high achieving graduates and one slightly unusual one in that he was older and had been involved in land based oil exploration...actually out in the field. he was an interesting guy with a risk taking background and someone i felt had the right qualities to be a trader. he was black, i think african from memory. i put him forward for the next layer of interviews but i knew he wouldn't get through. whether it was because he was a black african or just didnt fit the ivy league/mba mould (incidentally they make lousy traders).
i guess my point is that most of us carry prejudice all the time....how atractive people are (are good looking people better than not so good looking ones? i doubt it)...society dictates to us through media forms what is desirable....and the form in which it should be desired.
stereotypes are reinforced constantly.
we cannot escape this unless we relieve ourselves of judgement.
as a mixed race person (sonia i sent you an email on this did you get it?) i feel i have an easier time with this perhaps having experienced many different races and cultures....people are all the same!
historical grievances cloud the issue and in NZ we have that also with the Maori who are in a unique position having signed a major treaty (Treaty of Waitangi in 1846) which gave them clear rights. Ok so those rights were trampled upon for the next 100 years but they are back now and reenshrined in law.
but the statistics for maori are poor as a result of that....and this again stirs prejudices and discrimination, both positive and negative). NZ is also unique in that maori and pakeha (europeans) intermarry freely and have done for a long time. also pacific islanders are a big part of the community as are the chinese (or asians as they are better known).
i'm rambling here so i'll stop. i would just say that it's good to talk because only through communication and loving each other....(i mean what better way to communicate than with a kiss)...that we will see that we are all the same, just bound by different cultural conventions.
so keep the love flowing even in difficult and incendiary situations...
peace and love
raf
Hey Siona,
I just stumbled onto your blog at Zaadz the other day and I'll just quickly add another "wow." to the chorus of other "wow."s - I usually don't expect such a high calibre of thought and eloquence on the interweb. Way to be both wise and cool.
Anyways, I wanted to mention that if you're still wrestling with these sometimes very gangly tragic issues, a good movie to see is "Crash", directed by Paul Haggis. It's a good movie, so counts as "entertainment time", and addresses the things you wrote about back in February.
It's set in L.A. and one of the storylines involves a buddhist who's black. The movie looks at racially-motivated fear, how we're all crashing together in this tossed salad of cultures and races. It also looks at what we have in common - we're all just people when we don't have time to think about all the other bathwater that comes along with sharing a bath with all the other people of the world.
Okay, that's a sloppy metaphor but hopefully you get the point and more importantly hopefully you can see the movie. It wet my eyes a couple of times in viewing it, and not just because it was made by a fellow Canadian :)
Hope you're well, cheers and 'good to meet you, virtually.'
StevieR
To be honest, I don't see why the issue has to be so full of angst. As an Australian, I deal with the crap that they call "reconciliation" every day - the myth that whitefella has to atone for supposed wrongs to the blackfella (these are accepted terms here). I take umbrage at this because I am sick to death of hearing, seeing and reading that blackfellas are those that are perpetually hard done by, the Asians are invading, the Somalians have to get in line and god knows who else is trying to get into the country and, above all, whitefellas are to blame for the entire scenario.
Xenophobia - whoever wears it - is ignorance - end of story. How do I combat this? Via education.
In my facilities group, if someone has a problem with someone because of their colour or whatever difference (which happens), it's dealt with straight away. There are no elephants in our room because if I wanted one in the room, I'd trundle off to Taronga. I don't brook this self righteous poor bugger me take of yours, Siona. As an adult and citizen of the world, this issue is to be tackled just like any other: head on, not with the kid glovers that you're wearing.
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