It's sad that the Pearls choose to publish without any apparent discernment a letter full of extreme accusations that are not based on any stated evidence... and then rebut those accusations. It's too bad they're either not willing or not able to hear true Biblical critique such as that you've offered in your reviews. Instead, they simply appeal to pragmatism: "Judging from the thousands of letters we have received, the book has been VERY successful in causing women everywhere to be revered by their husbands." Yes, Mrs. Pearl, but what about judging by faithfulness to God's Word instead of merely by success.
There are, after all, many thousands of Jehovah's Witnesses (for example) who live happy lives. Does that make their "book" correct?
Or to put it another way:
"So when did you stop beating your wife?"
Sheesh. Thanks for knocking down a straw man, Pearls. How about constructively taking gentle critique?!?!
BTW, I actually have appreciated the Pearls' thoughts on child-rearing, to a degree. It just seems that they too often rely on limited anecdotal evidence to offer overreaching counsel based on loads of their own assumptions.
I thought it rather odd that their "proof" was the many letters they have received from women praising the book. It kind of makes me want to write a letter.
They have used anonymous letters extensively throughout the book to make their case. It is not the best way to make an argument for your position.
Like you Evers, we have also appreciated some of the early writings of the Pearl's. But the direction their teachings have taken in recent years is troubling. And the teaching in this book highlights the dangerous ramifications of the false teachings.
It is a honest dialog of these issues that would be helpful. Emotional appeals to the books helpfulness are not the issue.
I was in a church years ago that employed the same tactics. Sad to say, there were a lot of people that got hurt before they finally folded. These tactics come out of pride and religion. The groups that do it have an elitist mindset. I'm grateful for having gone through the experience, though it caused a lot of harm to my family, for I learned a lot through it. I know enough now that if I went into a place that treated people's concerns in such a way, I would speak the truth in love, but then I would leave. One of the greatest problems I had with CTBHH was the position of pride out of which it was written.
Thank you, Spunky, for standing up and speaking the truth.
Shalom,
I, too, find it sad that there is no attempt to address the questions raised. It only confirms to me that I have not misunderstood the book, and it is not worthy of recommendation.
Thanks for the heads up, Spunky.
Hi Spunky,
Yes you've summed this up well.
Either:
1. The Pearl's have not actualy read the reviews of their book on blogs, in which case they are reacting without even hearing people's concerns,
or
2. They have read the reviews and are ignoring people's biblically based concerns.
To respond to "letter" - which is presented anonymously (why I ask is it anonymous - of the "thousands of letters" I'm sure there is some-one who would be named) which is accusing other Christians without facts, and to take it as true is not a mature response.
I didn't write that letter, by the way...(nor do I know who did)...
*grins*
I really think a lot of this is summed up in Kristen's recent post, over at Walking Circumspectly.
http://walkingcircumspectly.blog...og-
reviews.html
I agree with her opinion BIG time.
Hey Spunk, I just want you to know that I love you and don't have any personal beef with you or your posts. You are one of the opinions that I'd term "dissenting but rational"--just didn't want you to think I was accusing you of being dramatic. 
We can agree to disagree.
Thanks Krsitin. It's nice to know some people still like me and don't think I'm an angry feminist.
I will always like you, Spunky. ((HUG)) We know each other too well--for blogdom, anyway--to let anything keep us from being friends. No worries.
Well, I DO think you're an angry feminist.
Harharharharharhar... JUST JOKING!!!!!!!
Hey, did you see this?
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com.../
devdoordeborah
I'm going there right now to read...
Molly my heart sank when I read that at first. I think my nerves are a little raw at the moment. The emotions surprise me. Truth is what I'm after that's all.
Spunky, I just want to encourage you to be careful not to take this too far. You've said what you've said. If you believe it, leave it and let others say what they may. I feel you started out trying to speak what you felt was the truth and now it has turned into this whole big debaucle that I worry is going to spin out of control and cause some big rifts in relationships.
If people disagree with you, let them disagree and leave it at that. Don't feel a need to defend what you said, if you believe it to be the truth.
Ladies, I think we are missing the whole boat here and this is getting way out of hand in all respects. Satan would love to use anything to cause division.
Let's focus on serving and honoring our husbands and being the help meets to them that the Lord would have us to be. Maybe that means needing to take a break and get off of our computers for awhile. I don't know about you, but I think most of us don't have time for a huge debate on this issue, and I don't think that our husbands would appreciate it either. My husband would prefer a nice dinner and a clean house. 
Spunky, I love and respect you and, although I disagree with you on this, I have no hard feelings. I think you had good motives for why you said what you said. I just wanted to encourage you not to feel like you need to defend yourself. Instead, let's focus on building others up and encouraging women in their roles as Godly wives and mothers!
Soory, Spunks...I was trying to lighten things up. I didn't mean to give you a jolt!
I'm better today. I actually am coming down with a slight cold and I think that was a part of it as well. Things are looking much better today.
Spunky, I have read all of your reviews and consequently followed with interest everything that has followed. Just want to say....I really appreciate the time you have taken to do this; I am so glad that you are standing strong and able to present truth despite opposition. Please don't be discouraged; you are doing a great job and I have been blessed from reading your work. Throughout it all, you have been fair and objective and nowhere did you malign the Pearls or speak less of them. You have upheld God, the Bible and truth. It is interesting that even in the homeschool culture there are those who love to follow the latest "thing"...but you have discerned, questioned and come forth as gold. God bless!
Thank you Hlllary your encouragement was timely in ways you will never know. Thank you so much!
God Bless You
spunky
Dear Spunky~
I've been meaning to write to you for some time now, simply to thank you for taking the time to thoughtfully read and review CTBHH, and then to discuss it even... I know firsthand how draining it is to enter into these types of discussions, but for the sake of others, it is also a most important part of our calling at times, as Christian wives and mothers, and I'm thankful to your husband for his blessing you as you've taken the time to prepare a feast for me (and countless others silently following along, as I have been, I'm sure), and as you've also set a wonderful example of diligent spiritual housekeeping by your sharing honestly and openly, in light of the scriptures. Your conscientious watchfulness in sounding a very necessary alarm of caution is most timely. I just can't thank you enough and, TOTALLY concur with Hillary...pure gold. Thank you for your faithfulness in fulfilling YOUR calling as a precious Titus 2 woman.
With intrigue, I've followed and considered the reviews since Kristen started hers, and then Keer's, and most recently yours, and Sparrow's as well. Also, most recently, Deborah's.
One reason it's taken me so long to "speak up" is I think b/c, in alot of ways, I'm still a bit "raw" over one of the main issues, which you and Sparrow so deftly covered - that of domestic violence, and the Pearls', imho, most deliberate side-stepping of this issue. I myself used to tow a very legalistic line concerning abuse, and had a faulty view conerning the Biblical parameters of dealings/ intervening and obligation of the Church body in relation to a consistently abusive marriage. I believe that through His Spirit, time, and honest, answer-seeking prayerful Bible-study, He has taught me alot that noone could have convinced me of 8 yrs. ago. I would have been in league with what I now deem to be a most dangerous book. Yeah, I see both sides, but not neutrally. And my hubby will tell you, I've no feminist leanings whatsoever either, quite the contrary!
This whole issue needed to be addressed further, and out there, considering all the hullabaloo over the book. I've no doubt that your faithfulness in sticking your neck out like that shall be rewarded in ways we can't even conceive of until we're on the other side. Sure it's "just a book", but books, especially popular ones touting "God's Plan", are powerful ideas, and ideas turn into actions, and now we're talking about lives impacted. Most abused women already blame themselves, and thereby justify thier husbands' sin. If some read it, and feel it's helped them, then great, that's their prerogative, but my prayer is that they'll be careful whose hands they place it in. The Pearls' most recent totally irrational, empty response to yours, and others, most humbly presented concerns is just plain insulting, and quite telling...Just more of the same, imo.
And mainly, I just wanted to thank you for speaking the truth in love. Be encourag
Thank you Beth! It's nice to have somoeone reach up and give you a hug when you stick your neck out. And that's what you just did by your encouraging words. Thanks for being a blessing to me!
I want to be kind to all concerned in this discussion. I have been reading and using many of the Pearls books/advice for at least 10 years. I can honestly say that without it, I would be divorced, miserable and clueless as to what my part had been in the destruction of my family, without their insight. I am an extremely skeptical person, and I just decided to find out for myself if what they suggest, works. It does. I have given this book to many close friends, and newlyweds. I have watched it make changes for the better in many of these. It is hard to take a leap of faith on some of their suggestions, but I knew in my heart that God blesses those who do, and seek Him first. Our society is in a downward spiral, and the homeschooling movement is the last hope for real change. Don't divide us, if you can overlook an offense. No matter who feels justified; God loves a loving, forgiving heart. God bless you.
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