Now you've done it. The international conspiracy of cleaners is right at the top of the conspiracy tree - Illuminati, the Elders of Zion, Free Masons, Knights Templar, NASA, the Skulls, the reptile royal family, thetans, Stonecutters, they all take their orders from the cleaners. Even to mention their existence is to invite surveillance and retribution. I've already said too much...

Are the cleaners anything to do with the organisation that the only other person in my house swears she is not a member of? The organisation that finishes the toilet paper but doesn't change it? The same organisation that finishes the orange juice and puts it back in the fridge? My mum used to tell us frightening tales of Mr.Nobody... I bet he's the Mr.Big of that organisation... are they connected to the cleaners?

Far be it from me to spoil a good conspiracy theory, but it's a sign that your cleaner's doing a thorough job. For some reason one leg of a computer keyboard is easier to knock than the other, and it gets skelped when you give the desk or keyboard tray a wipe.

I prefer my theory. It has more excitement about it.

Bloody journalists and their tedious "fact-checking".

Isn't it supposed to be bloggers fact-checking journos? ;-)

You're not welcome here, you know.

JB, that would be the same person who borrows my car and returns it one mile before the "fuel low" warning light comes on.