Any reason why NI and GB have different DVLAs? This seems, err, not sane.

Not sane at all, no. Apparently, I can use a valid GB license here for a year (which I have done), but I can't register an NI address against a GB license and it's an offense not to notify DVLA of my change of address. So how is this one-year thing possible? Similar rules apply in the other direction.

We also have different vehicle registrations and a different MOT system. You know the way you drop your car off at a garage for them to do the MOT for you? Can't do that here. You have to take it to the government's test centre yourself. (If you're a few minutes late, they cancel the test but keep the fee. Of course, they reserve the right to keep you waiting for bloody ages.) That's why the strikes caused such havok: the MOTs are completely controlled by one small group of "public servants".

During the strike, the ferry companies were offering MOT day trips: £99 for a return ticket and your test fee with a local garage. This, of course, has prompted calls in some protectionist quarters to make GB MOT certificates invalid in NI. The public are more keen on having MOTs privatised, which is what you have.

"When I got through to one of your staff, he asked me whether I was calling about a bus, lorry, or car; when I said car, he immediately put me through to a different line"

That sounds like they employ people whose job is to spend all day asking "bus, lorry, or car?" then punting the "customer" (*cough*) into one of 3 queues. Visions of one of those old-fashioned telephone exchanges with dozens of operators sat in front of plugboards. I bet they still have a typing pool, too.

Not judging by the quality of the letters they send out, they don't. They have a photocopier operated by a gang of cats.

How about they provide the form on their website in PDF format so you can download it and print it? Would too many "jobs for the boys" be lost? The best thing about bureacracy is that the patent ridiculousness is totally lost on the system. Great blog - thoroughly enjoy reading it.

Hi, Conor.

It's worse than you think: they provide some forms on their website, so they obviously understand the concept, but they haven't worked out that they need to provide all of them. Because some forms are there, however, they have an excuse to play recorded messages at you at least twice before you get through to someone, telling you to download forms from the website. Now, I went to the website first, so I ignored that. But imagine if you called them first. You ring up, you hear a message telling you that, if all you want is a form, you can download it from the website, you hang up, you go to the website, you read a message telling you that you need to ring them to get the form you're looking for.

re "If they'd all obeyed the law, the economy would have ground to a halt."

Would that not have been the answer?

Well, yes. Trouble is, you only get to bankrupt the country after you've bankrupted yourself.

Does anybody know why you can only renew your road tax (at least on the mainland) in the four weeks before it's due? One day too early, and you can't pay. Go abroad for the crucial month, and you have to take the car off the road. Quite, quite barmy.