You, sir, are a true futurologist.

Squander Two: every time I think I've sussed out how your mind works, you write a post like that one.

Or you could just conceal a suitably rigged Kant Wate device underneath your trousers.

I don't know what you'd do about the back end though.

Well, you're certainly correct that we seldom know what people will do with new technology, and you've certainly made a brave attempt at a prediction there. Very brave. (Did I mention "brave"?)

Yes, well, moving along then... true about Lucas, that. I think that's what made the first Star Wars so stunningly real to my childish mind: the "shiny stuff" was far from shiny. It was well-used. Battered, even. Nobody in the film paid much attention to it, except, as you say, to hit or curse it. And you instantly knew that, yes, in such a universe, with such technology, that is how it would look and that is how people would behave.

But to be fair to the Star Trek writers: the communicators all had a vibrate function, of course, it's just that its operation is obviously not visible to an observer.

Oh, and since I'm feeling nitpicky (as if there's ever a time when I'm not!) I think you meant "discreetly".

Damn. Both spellings now look wrong to me. I hate that.

If anyone invents a time travel device, it could be used in a similar way, but without the danger of telefouling. By using the device on one's bowels, one could (for example) deal with a whole week's waste in one sitting (assuming that the plumbing could cope).

Well, they should both look correct, because they are different words: "discreetly" means "not obviously" while "discretely" means "piece by piece" or "separately". As in "discrete units".

Good Heavens man, don't you know the Queen's English? (Even though she's German.)

Yes, yes, I know, but any word starts to look alien if I think about it. Especially "does".

I've long believed that the first communication between us and alien life forms will be a picture of a willy. Think about it. What's the first thing anyone draws when they've got a new pen or graphics package?

Maybe that's the first thing you draw, Mark.

The first thing I draw is a nice, shapely... musical instrument, of course.

I find "doing" hard not see as "doingggg!" (the sound of a twanged rubber band), if that helps.

Oh, God, yeah. If you write "doing" completely out of context — for instance, by playing it in Scrabble — lots of people, in my experience, will just stare at it wondering what the fuck it is. I even had it challenged in a friendly game of Countdown once, until I said it aloud and my opponent slapped her forehead.