To Kerry: Thanks for the meal.
To her friend: Check for razor blades!
your sister | 10.13.06 - 10:13 am | #

Elderly woman: This is not my order, why can’t you get this straight!? I had decided to order the meatloaf before I decided I wasn’t going to order the meatloaf. Got it?

Kerry: Why does this sound so familiar?
Renee | 10.13.06 - 11:32 am | #

If his service here is anything like his service in Vietnam, the rest of us are going hungry.
Cowboy Blob | Homepage | 10.13.06 - 12:51 pm | #

Kerry: nobody tell Theresa, cause she will kill me, but try the DelMonte ketchup it's great!
Sssteve | Homepage | 10.13.06 - 6:15 pm | #

Please enjoy some of my leftover humble pie: courtesy of the Swift Boat Veterans.
Wyatt Earp | Homepage | 10.13.06 - 8:57 pm | #

"Here you go, ladies. I garnished it with some 'special' ketchup from my French fry."
Damian G. | Homepage | 10.13.06 - 11:14 pm | #

Kerry pimp trolling for sugar mommy #3.
Troll | 10.14.06 - 12:01 am | #

Kerry earned Purple Heart #4 after burning his thumb on some hot mac-and-cheese.

The Swift Boaters were quick to point out that he placed his thumb into the mac-and-cheese in order to leave Shady Acres early.

Kerry blamed Bush.
the man | Homepage | 10.14.06 - 9:38 am | #

John Kerry in his very own "target rich environment".
jimmyb | Homepage | 10.14.06 - 11:14 am | #

Here's my entry...

(with apologies to The Man..but Hillary is such a natural~!)

(But that's not what Bill said..)

(Shaddup already!)

-Serr
serr8d | Homepage | 10.14.06 - 11:18 am | #

John Kerry finally finds a job he is darn near qualified for.
jimmyb | Homepage | 10.14.06 - 3:05 pm | #

Halfway through serving, Senator Kerry makes a mistake that will surely go down in history as "The Creamed Corn Incident of 2006".
SeanS | Homepage | 10.15.06 - 8:50 am | #

John Kerry begins a new career after holder-of-the-checkbook Teresa Heinz dumps him for (Jennifer Aniston leftovers) Vince Vaughn.

***

Kerry: By the way ma'am, did you know I served in Vietnam?
Woman: I sure do...I was the nurse who put the Band Aid on your scratch. The only person less deserving of a Purple Heart is draft dodger Bill Clinton!

***

Woman on right: I thought we were being served ham!
Woman on left: No, we're being served by a ham. Turn up your hearing aid next time!
Pam | Homepage | 10.15.06 - 8:48 pm | #

These were all funny, but I especially liked 7, 8, and 9!
linda | 10.17.06 - 12:05 pm | #

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xyjfiso | Homepage | 08.20.07 - 7:00 am | #