I can't follow that Superman one, but here's one, except it doesn't work in writing.
A termite walks into a bar and asks "is the bar tender here?"
Ugh.
I give you this one, courtesy of Robin Williams:
An orthodox rabbi walks into a bar in New York with a tiny little frog sitting on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey, that's cute. Where'd you get it?" And the frog says "Brooklyn. They got tons of 'em walking around over there."
A guy walks into a bar and immediately orders 3 shots of Jameson. The bartender pours them out, and the guy slams them down, one after the other. He then orders another three shots of Jameson. The bartender again pours them out and again the man slams them down, one after the other. The bartender looks at the guy and asks, "You ok fella?" The guy replies, "I'm not sure. Say, are there any penguins around these parts?" The bartender says, "Buddy, this is Baltimore, the only penguins we got are at the zoo," to which the guy replies, "Well then. You better pour me three more shots because I just ran down 6 nuns."
Almost all my "good" "man walks into a bar..." jokes rely on wordplay and don't work well written. They're also very juvenile. But here's one:
A man walks into a bar.
A moment later, a second man walks into the bar, which is weird, seeing how the first guy was still sitting on the ground clutching his head. I mean, who just leaves a bar sticking out of a building like that?!?
A grasshopper walks into a bar; the barkeep looks up and says, "Hey, we got a drink named after you."
"What, Harold?"
*****
Guy walks into a bar, orders three shots of "the strongest liquor you got", slams 'em down. "What's the occasion?" asks the barkeep; "First blowjob" says the guy. "Oh hey, well then. Here, have another shot on the house!" "Thanks man, but if three shots didn't kill the taste I don't think four will do it."
a man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender "i will get everyone in here to buy a round if you give me one for free". The bartender looks at the alligator, and takes the wager. The man places the alligator on the table and gathers a crowd. After most of the bar is watching he pulls out his [you know what] and places it in the alligators open mouth. He begins to count "1...2...3" all the way to 10. when he says "10" he yanks his willy out of the way and that alligator slams its mouth shut at the same moment.
The crowd is stunned, applauds, and buys a round to show their appreciation. The man follows this same path three or four times with an ever growing crowd and finally turns to them with the following question "would anyone out there like to try this?"
a man in the back slowly raises his hand, quite cautious as you would assume.
The owner of the alligator shouts out "Why are you so nervous? step right up".
The cautious man replies "i'm not sure if i can keep my mouth open for that long".
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes out his wallet and asks the barman "How much?". The barman answers "For you, no charge."
An atom walks into a bar looking depressed and asks for some strong stuff. The bartender asks "What's wrong, buddy". The atom replies "I lost an electron." "Are you sure?", says the bartender. The atom replies: "I'm positive."
A horse walks into a bar. Bartender goes, "why the long face?"
A guy walks into a bar after a long day at work and orders a drink. After his first sip, he hears a high-pitched voice.
"Hey mister! Nice pants!" it says.
He looks around, doesn’t see anything, and quickly shrugs it off. After a little bit, he takes another sip and hears the voice again.
“Hey mister! Sweet shoes!”
Again, he looks around, sees nothing but a bartender who is busy attending to other customers. Shaking his head, he sips once more.
“Hey mister! Cool shirt!”
He puts down his drink, frustrated at this phantom voice, and signals to the bartender, who comes over.
“Hey barkeep,” he begins, “what is that high-pitched voice I keep hearing?”
“Oh, those are the peanuts,” he replies. “They’re complimentary.”
A woman walked into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. "Get that pig out of here!" yelled the bartender. "That's not a pig, stupid!" she replied, "That's a duck!" "I know!" said the bartender, "I was talking to the duck!"
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A man walked into a bar with an alligator under his arm. He asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?" The bartender said, "Yes, we do!" "Good," replied the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my alligator."
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A kangaroo walks into a bar. He orders a beer. The bartender says, "That'll be $10. You know, we don't get many kangaroos coming in here, you know." The kangaroo says, "At $10 a beer, it's not hard to understand."
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A priest, a rabbi, a nun, George Bush, and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what is this, some kind of a joke?"
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Although my favorites are always the ham sandwich and the one up above - the second guy should have noticed the first guy writhing in pain from walking into the bar first.
A woman walks into a bar and asks the barkeep for a double entendre. So he gives her one.
One of my all time favorites, just because it was rather unexpected the first time I heard it (works better vocally):
So this guy walked into a bar.
Ouch!
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