All I can say is I sincerely hope the afterlife these hypocritical bastards believe in truly does exist for them, and they find that there is a major "karmic debt" to be repaid, due on admission.
What a sad and infuriating story. I know many folks may fear that they could face the same situation. And in fact, they could!
Perhaps had Patrick completed a "Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care," giving Brett sole decision-making ability in the event he became incapacitated, that form would have given Brett some legal standing in the matter.
It is an easy form to fill out. Each state has their own forms and laws regarding DPOHCs, but I encourage everyone to have one filled out-- no matter your age or health status.
A "Living Will" or "Advanced Directive" is a form in which one can make their own healthcare wishes known for guidance in the event they become incapactitated,or simply unable to communicate. A "DurabelPower of Attorney for Health Care" Names the person or people one entrusts to make health care decisions.
For those at risk of having to deal with this type of ugliness, perhaps some strong language which strips the control freaks from any right to make health care decisions may be helpful.
I'm not an attorney, but as a nurse, I strongly support these documents. In situations like this, the first thing healthcare providers ask is, "Is there a DPAHC?"
Here's a useful link that gives info on each state's laws:
http://estate.findlaw.com/estate...ving-
wills.html
Kate: Thanks for the information. You are right. There are some steps one can take to help in these situations but when it comes to situations like this they aren't always going to work and courts will still allow the parents to interfer without the partner being legally recognized. So the laws are a major problem for couples like this.
And often the agreements that have to be signed are numerous in number. There are dozens of ways parents could attack the partner and the process of doing all of them can be cumbersome and expensive. And some of these need to be renewed. I certainly agree with you that couples who aren't legally recognized by the State have to take as many of these as they can. But nothing will be safe with marriage equality.
I read one couple writing about how they have tried to take all these precautions and only a couple years into the relationship did they discover aspects not covered and not even their attorney realized it. So couples need to take precautions and the laws have to change.
You know both these guys are still relatively young and were healthy. And when you are young and healthy you often think you are doing just fine and don't need these things. I also doubt that Patrick every thought his mother would be so vicious.
Like with intelligence, I don't believe that all people are equal in worth as human beings. Some, like these parents, have the worth of a rabid animal.
I agree They ought to be struck down with lightening.
sieg heil
That's an unbearably sad state of affairs. I can't believe in this day and age that people can't just let others live and love in the way they obviously wish to.
Many years ago, I was unfortunate enough to find myself in hospital over Christmas, suffering from burns and lung damage from being in a house fire. Across the ward was an oldish man - maybe late 60s or early 70s - who didn't say much. (neither did I , my voicebox was burned). Each evening, after regular visitor hours were through, the man's partner and a younger lad would come in. I don't know what the relationship with the younger lad was - ward of court maybe, or one of their sons. But they would talk in the quiet hours about life together, all three of them living happily together as a family. It broke my heart to listen to it, since it was obvious that the old boy wasn't getting out of hospital. They laughed and cried for all the time I was there, every night, with the curtain drawn around them by the nurses.
I left hospital before the old boy, so I don't know what became of him. I hope he lived longer to share life with his wonderful partner and young friend.
Since then, I just can't bring myself to condemn other forms of marriage.
This kind of hate is destructive and pointless. That woman is _not_ a follower of the humble Nazarean she claims to love.
Boooo hooo. Sucks to be gay.
Pete: It is people like this woman that make it so difficult for me, as an atheist, to maintain an un-biased perspective regarding Christianity -- especially here in the 'States, where such bigotry and feverish hatred is the norm, not the exception.
Consider this: More people, in the US at least, are willing to allow their children to marry a Muslim than they are an Atheist, according to a recent telephone survey by University of Minnesota researchers.
That being said; even with those whom follow the correct path of compassion as delineated by the New Testament, I still believe that christianity -- and islam, and judaism, and the hindji beliefs, and buddhism (to an admittedly lesser extent) are all in fact harmful to humanity, for the same reason the New Age movement is harmful. I am not saying this to flame or inflame; it is simply the conclusion I have reached from observation.
Still -- I'd rather have christians who were sickened by this woman than who agree with her, so -- your reaction reminds me to remember to be courteous to christians. 
A very sad and distressing story. It does sound like the judiciary are sympathetic to this situation; the very institution that officiates on everyday matters and is arguably more in touch with the world today than any law-makers can be. The parents are entitled to their opinions and beliefs, after all I presume their whole moral fabric has been defined/indoctinated by their upbringing in the Catholic principles. However, I do not think it is right that the law discriminates in the way it does; Patrick has been let down by a state that should know better.
IConrad: Thanks for your comment and consideration. I don't consider myself to be a very strong Christian, my values have been stretched, pushed and warped in a lot of different directions for a long time, but I still believe in the core of the faith as my Dad handed down to me:
1) Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you.
2) It is better to give than to receive
Faith of all sorts requires dedication, and hopefully that dedication is constructive to some extent. My faith isn't strong enough to support a lot of my arguments, but I believe in the goodness of most humans, until I read a story like this.
It's obvious that the parents in question have yet to realise that loving your God means loving the sinner (in their eyes), and for that I pity them. They're on a path to nowhere, yet don't realise it. They should honour his partner, love is hard to find in this world...
My idea of God is my own, as it should be. No superchurch, no clergy, no shoving down people's throats my ideas of a saviour. Live well, eat well, treat people well. Don't be a dick. Live life to the full, it's a gift from your God, whoever he may be.
Best wishes, Pete
I found this over on Wendy McElroy's site. Dugg, blogged, and distributed via email and on MySpace.
Although living wills are helpful, in cases like this they're basically irrelevant. The parents have a special relationship with their children, as recognized in law, that members of a same-sex couple are legally barred from having. When there's no parental interference a living will lets couples operate relatively in-line with legally recognized.
When the parents get involved, however, it's almost always game over for the living will.
(What shocks me is that there's apparently no provision in local law that allows custody to be removed from parents who expressly state they're interested in their own ideology rather than the health and life of their son--even against the clear wishes of the son!)
Another example of why it's important that you register to vote and vote intelligently. Because you know the other folks are being told to go out and vote.
I'm from Indiana and I'm not at all surprised at behavior like this from these Nazis in Carmel/Hamilton Co.
What sickened me the most from the Atkins Food web site was that "In Gold We Trust" emblazoned on the bottom. It reminds you of the people who bought and sold in the temple, right next to the moneychangers-- if you're into that sort of text.
In order to make a boycott more viable, perhaps people can politely call the company and ask what stores stock their products in their area? Just say that they want to try their product and would like to know where to get it from.
That way, they can then contact the stores that stock the products and tell THEM that their stores are being boycotted because they're stocking the Atkins range of desserts. Not just that, but if someone made an online list of the stores that carry the Atkins range, then more people can boycott those stores as well.
It won't be just Bloomingdales that is stocking the products, and the smaller companies will possibly listen more intently at the thought of losing business.
Anonymous Hoosier: I would like to think some people in Indiana are better than these people -- especially since most my family lives there. I should point out that you have the motto wrong.
The motto on their site says “In God We Trust” not in Gold. Had it been gold the chance of justice being done would be higher. Profit seekers who are smart don’t turn away customers no matter their sexual orientation. Only people who have higher values than that will give up profit to be bigots. If anything changes her mind it will be profits. But I thinks she addicted to religion and won’t give up the habit for anything.
Sam: I think you are right. My feeling is that if people concentrated first on Bloomingdales, a big company, and succeeded there it might get the attention of these people. But I’m all in favor of people letting everyone know they don’t want these products -- which is a shame -- I really, really love cheescake. But you can be sure it won’t be Atkins
Can we rescue this guy like they rescue people from cults and take him to another state where he'd have some right?
While the story is atrocious, and she is an appalling human being, I'm not sure I think a boycott of a company that distributes all over North America is the best idea. You're causing the wrong people to suffer - thousands of unrelated workers. You're confusing the idea of a "company" as as big, homogeneous, powerful, and essentially evil thing, with people who lose jobs and have never heard of this woman and her son.
Bombarding them with letters and e-mails, forcing the story into the wider media, yes. Just adding to the suffering of this situation by involving innocent and unrelated people, no. Particularly not with devious, falsely polite phone calls.
Malice is not best fought with malice.
And for those of you in Indiana, or anywhere else, for that matter, actively protest the right of same-sex couples to be recognized. Don't just shake your head at the stupidity of your countrymen; believe in them.
- A Canadian
Kim: first don’t make the company bigger than it is. There are not thousands of workers, not even 100. And the company is family owned and family run. So the people most directly effected are the people doing this. This is not a publicly traded company with thousands of shareholders. In fact Patrick was a major shareholder but his mother has those assets in her pocket now as well. She took everything he had.
The people who are getting the emails are directly related in all senses of the word. They are family members who are were involved in this travesty.
Individuals have the write to withdraw their cooperation with evil -- I would say they have the obligation to do so when possible. Had Jeanne Atkins been merely an employee I would say no boycott. She isn’t much more than that. Since she took custodail rights over her son she also took his job, his assets, his home, his bank account, threw his partner out of his life, etc. This is not an innocent woman and the family members that cooperated with her are not innocent either -- maybe they were cowards to stand up to her but none the less they cooperated. The innocent persons here are Patrick and Brett.
Who cares! What's so noble about being gay? There's bad parents everywhere you look, no religion has a corner on that market. Quit trying to reduce everything to emotional appeals.
How about all the terrific loving parents who have lost their sons to aids and other STDs?
Why don't you sue them for false advertising? They claim they are Kosher, but that expired in 1996.
See h.ttp://atkins-intl-foods.com/certificates/
Kosher.html
Can a hate-filled-company be certified Kosher? I bet that if they hate gays then they probably hate all non-white non-Christian people and that's not a company I want to support.
oops typo - their posted Kosher status expired June 2006, not 1996.
"Who cares! ... How about all the terrific loving parents who have lost their sons to aids and other STDs?"
The parents dicussed in the article, based on their religious beliefs, violated his son's wishes, his and his partner financial possesions, and disrespected the medical advices that he'd be better off having some sort of contact with his partner - all for the sake of their religious stances, which were not their son's.
The AIDS situation was quite distinct, in which it was a tragedy, a calamity spread primarily by *consensual*, however irresponsible and promiscuous, sexual activities. It wasn't anyone's plot to violate the rights or the wishes of other people, ot to enforce someone's values on anybody else. And neither were the "terrific loving" parents you cite the most affected by the disease you decry.
What a pity some people would rather say "Who cares!" and blur the lines to compare two completely distinct situations just in order to not recognize the visible tendency some of the most traditionalist folks have to try to enforce their values on other persons despite their will.
I'm a bit confused about why you've chosen to focus all your fury and disgust at the mother in the this case. While I am in full agreement that this is an awful situation, and an incredibly cruel family, I don't see that it is all the mother's fault. Surely Mr. Atkins shares some of the blame.
What does it say about the kneejerk reactions of society that the moment a "family" issue raises its head, all blame falls on the mother?
That being said, I will not ever be purchasing any Atkins products, and I have written the company to tell them so.
FYI:
"Brett went to court but Indiana doesn’t recognize gay relationships in any form. Thanks to the Republicans they have a constitutional amendment specifically forbidding legal recognition of gay couples."
First, we do NOT have a constitutional amendment on gay anything. You might want to get your facts in order before posting something. We do have a state law that bans gay marriage, that is all. In cases like this, even if a male and female were living like they were married, but were not, they would be facing the same issues.
Second, while I agree this woman hated her son's path in life, I recall that this job of his was actually with the family company. So while the family really did not like their son and his lifestyle, I find it odd that they gave him a job with the family company and _he_ choose to accept a job with the company.
Third, why do you not bash Patrick himself? For starters, why is he even staying with his family if they are so evil. If it is true he worked for the family company, why would he do that? As mean as they are being now, we know nothing about the past. We get one-sided stories, that is it. Also, why didn't these two men prepare for this? A medical POA would have solved this problem.
Hmmm...let's see. The Atkins' "hate" their sons lifestyle (and very harshly) because they don't understand it.
You hate the Atkins' (and very harshly) lifestyle because you don't understand it.
Sorry, but I'm confused. What makes you better than them?
Would it be because you think you have the moral highground? Well, so do they. Hate is hate whether it comes from the right or left or center.
You are both wrong.
patrick had told his father that all the information he would need to take care of Brett in any emergency was in his file in his private office and his father in turn promised patrick that he would see that things were done the way he wished.
I'm with you. What despicable pieces of sh1t. This woman is not spreading God's love, she's spreading hate. Have some of these fanatics ever considered they are the ones who are really doing the "devil's work?"
Anyway, this is why I'm for gay marriage.
Third, why do you not bash Patrick himself?
Did Patrick know he would somehow be in the situation he is in today? Did he know he would suffer a sort of breakdown that would affect his intelligence and make him entirely dependent upon other people's goodwill? If so, did he know his parents would take guard of him (which would not had happened had his doccumented will been taken in consideration), and deprive him of his partner's mere presence, take for themselves their possessions, etc.?
Patrick might have thought - and he probably did - his parents were intolerant and dogmatic, but, since he had no way to know what was about to happen with him, and that his parents would take advantage of his situation to impose their lifestyle on him, and violate his will and his partner's rights. What I mean to say is that Patrick didn't have
to say is that Patrick had no indication of what was going to happen, as he had no indication his parents would do what they did - he had no indication they were that "evil".
It's possible many gay people prefer to have some sort of relationship with their parents - even when they disapprove of their lifestyle and are hostile to their romantic partner. Parents, for good or bad, are an important part of the life of almost everyone who had parents. That Patrick is guilty of the situation he and his partner are in simply because he preferred not to cut his parents of his life is something I don't get, and it only proves what was said above about people trying to connect different situations just in order to alleviate those parents' wrong-doing.
I would like to point out to Ryan that, even if Patrick did what Ryan believes was the most reasonable thing to do - cut his parents from his life -, it might not have been enough to preclude his parents from doing what was done. Just see the story of Russell Groff (http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2007/07/15/553)
.
Maverik: All indications in the court documents and the media are that the mother, in this specific, case is the driving force behind this tragedy. She gets the blame because she earned it. She seems to dominant member of the family and the one who is most fanatical about her beliefs and anxious to impose them. Her husband and other family members seem to be bulldozed by her and comply with her wishes.
Ryan: Indiana did pass a Constitutional amendment banning the recognition of gay marriages. Second, straight couples often do not face the same problem because they don’t have anti-straight parents infused with prejudice and often because the law recognizes common law marriages between opposite sex couples. I suspect that is the case in Indiana but said nothing about that in particular.
Third, the “family company” was one a brother started. Patrick then invested in it and ran it. He built it and his mother took it over as his “guardian”. The family didn’t give him the job -- he created it. They were living off his expertise at running the company not the other way around.
He is staying with the family because he has no choice. He is incapacitated and the court gave his mother custody over him so she can make decisions for him and he is not allowed to make them himself. Ryan, did you actually read this article or just skim through it?
Opus: I don’t hate these bigots because I don’t understand them. I hate what they do because I do understand them. To equate hating hate with being hateful is like saying that a woman who fights a rapist is just as violent as he is, or that a Jews who hates the Nazis pushing him into a gas chamber is the moral equivalent of the Nazi. That sort of morality is very warped I think.
i feel sick...i'd like to think that people like this are dying out and that they have little to no pull in the world but apparently they do...LOVE ISN'T A RIGHT, IT'S A PRIVELEGE!!!!!
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