I don't know. The paint job on that car is pretty sweet.
Excellent. Makes perfect sense. I love the car, the pirate ship, and your perspective.
You are so right. The partner who doesn't get bored after ten minutes of playing with kids is the partner who should be at home with them.
There is no question.
Great vehicle. Perfect proof.
"Brush my hair" made me laugh out loud.
What I've never understood in the ongoing media-labeled "mommy wars," is that there is no right or wrong. There is just what works for you, your family, your situation. No one wants less than the best for their child(ren), whatever that means to their family. And it's lovely to see one spouse honor another spouse's contributions.
I echo the above... your perspective is great.
brilliant post. i love your outlook and i think you have an amazing family.
rock on!
Dutch, I don't do hair either and my six year old daugther reminds me each time I try to brush her hair.
Love the car and boat.
I love you guys.
You two are my role models. Oh and when my kid gets bigger I'm going to do her hair like Juney's.
Such a great perspective. It's really an amazing thing to witness (via the internet, I know...) how your family seems to have really found a rhythm that works perfectly for you. I'm envious - my oldest is four and I feel like I'm still tripping along!
Exactly. I work full-time, 8-4:30 Monday through Friday, because I'm better at it. My husband works wacky hours, but this summer he's home with the kids. Because he's good at it. If I were home, I'd be quite content to let them play on the computer all day, never emerging from their rooms. He, on the other hand, takes them to the zoo, to museums, to swimming pools. And they have a blast together.
He's ill-suited for office life. And I thrive here.
So yeah, I wear the pants, but sometimes also the skirts, and he wears the shorts, but sometimes also the pants. And it works for us. Glad it works for your family, too.
I'm jealous. I'm so tired of waiting to be a SAHD, I just can't stand myself. I want to make crappy cardboard pirate ships, too! I only hope I pull it off with a tenth of the style and joy that Dutch seems to have. Thank you both so much for all the daydream material while I wait and wait for this baby to hurry up and be born!
And your kid is pretty darn cute, too
On a completely random side note, (and because I can't stay away from sharing frugal news): Target has a big bucket of chalk in their bargin section for a buck.
Worth it.
well i don't have kids yet. but when i do! i want to be like you and dutch. a perfect fit.
Crap. I'm in trouble. Mama can complete all those items--on both lists.
Here's hoping that I look good in a skirt and cute shoes.
Oh my god, the pirate ship even has a SAIL. I'm dying.
I hope Dutch's novel is not actually a novel, but a how-to guide on being you guys. It's safe to say it would be a bestseller.
I love this post. I think overall my husband would be better at being home full time. He loves to play with her whereas I kept checking the time at the playground today because I was bored to death. I love to play with her too, but not in the physical way he does that just thrills her no end. However, I have the job that can be done from home and likely couldn't quite match his income if I did work full time, plus I am little better at getting it ALL done.
I like that our generation seems to look at staying home with a child as something either or neither parent can opt to do, or like you and Dutch have done, switch it off. We've already decided that once we're done with kids and they are in school, my husband will be fully licensed and can go into practice as a therapist while I get to bring home the paycheck and health insurance for awhile. He'll get to be there when Maggie and any future kids get home from school and I get to put on nice clothes and know that I am providing materially for my family. Even my arch-Republican friend is now a stay at home dad and LOVES it!
I read this and instantly tried to remember if I've ever kept any attorney I've worked for talking to me about something personal and boring for a half hour.
Can Dutch come over to my house and make some stuff out of cardboard for my kids? I would be happy to buy him some chalk in return.
The boat and car are amazing. Nothing at all like crap. Certainly better that what I would have made.
You are a very lucky family. You have each other and you have been able to make creative choices for your life together.
She doesn't look happy about the APR financing on that car and boat.
That's a pretty wicked car and boat if you ask me! Can Dutch watch my kid sometime?
Over the moon that Dutch is working on a novel although I do adore your narrative voice, too, Wood. I'll buy both of your books.
My husband and I have a similar work/home arrangement except that he notices the cheerios and cat hair and doesn't do anything about it.
The little wheels on the pirate ship makes me laugh. Very nice perspective on things.
That car is sweet! Dutch, you are your father's son. (The boat? Craptastic. Sorry.) Wood - I like working. I need to work, both emotionally, intellectually and financially. Do what keeps you sane, that's what I say.
Great post Wood.
I've frequently wondered the same thing, but never emailed. Thanks for writing this! I'm glad you like your job.
I think people have an idea in their head about how a fmaily should be, when in reality a family should do what is right for them. I think it's great the way you guys do things. I love reading both of your posts, because they are always so different, while still being somewhat the same. Basically you both seem happy and that's what is important. My uncle was a stay at home dad from the day their first son was born until the day the third graduated and moved away. Now he's a stay at home husband. It works for them.
I'm impressed with you that you can go a whole staff meeting without rolling your eyes. I just can't seem to stop.
Oh and the Pirate ship and car rock. I'd have no clue where to start either.
I think it's great that you guys have it set up so that it works perfectly for both of you. You're both lucky in that sense, that your needs aren't colliding and you both want to work, or both want to stay home - and Juniper is better off for it. Screw the people who think your arrangement is weird or that you're not doing the right thing by working, because it's right for you 3, and that's what counts.
I think my husband does a fantastic job when he's with our daughter, but I don't know if that would be something sustainable over an 8-6 day, 5+ days per week... I personally struggle with how much I should be playing with her or engaging her in two-people activities (where I'm the other person). I know that I'm so much more creative with her, and get out a lot more to do fun, educational, and/or interesting things when I have some kind of break planned in the week. That used to be accomplished with The Nap, but once that disappeared (at about age 2.5) I've really had to find other breaks to recharge my own battery.
All that said, there are certain activities that we do which bore me to tears, but I do at least a little of those too, because she enjoys them so much. And then I try to steer her towards creating the most awesome block castle ever created, or draw pictures, or go to the pool.
Glad to hear that you actually enjoy the nice pants and cute shoes bit!
I love you guys to death.
And I want to be you. Sorry if that's creepy.
I'm with Samantha Jo. Your whole crew is just too awesome.
Okay, it's totally time for Wood to write a post about what a complete asshole I am sometimes. Remember, this blog is an incomplete picture!
the car and pirate ship are awesome!
& by the way, we have the same floors as you
I'd feel a lot more comfortable if he wore shorts once in a while...
@ Ni Yachen
I think Wood was wishing Dutch brushed his own hair once in a while, not his daughter's...
I SO wish I could make "poop drawings"!!
Love the car. and the boat. But the car! So cool! Like Wood, I wouldn't even know where to begin.
Just echoing the other commenters...do what works for you.
Great post! I am amazed at Dutch's ingenuity in creating the car and pirate ship. I would never have thought of that! Such a great imagination. Juniper is blessed to have such wonderful parents!
I think my favorite part of this post is #5 on the second list. Amen, sister. I, too, would suffer from the boredom and overwhelmedness of being a stay-at-homer. Thank goodness I get to put on a skirt and cute shoes and go teach freshmen about rhetorical voice while my husband stays home and plays for hours, hair unbrushed.
Also, I can't wait for Wood's post about what an asshole Dutch is sometimes! Bring it on!
I worked from home yesterday, due to a lack of daycare, and my conclusion from this is that I am not cut out for full-time at-home toddler parenting. My husband, on the other hand, is currently locking up his classroom for the summer and getting ready to spend ten weeks at home with our kid, which he has been looking forward to all year. So I'm sort of in the same cardboard pirate ship as you, Wood, and I feel just as lucky. I've been meaning to write about this too, and you've done such a good job of describing it.
That's a pretty sweet pirate ship! Especially since it is also capable of going on land.
I think your arrangement sounds amazing for all three of you, and I hope that one day I'll be able to feel the exact same way about my situation. Good for you both for recognizing what works for you and embracing it. And especially good for Juniper. What a lucky little girl she is.
i appreciated your perspective on this, wood, and i had a feeling it was where you were coming from. for all the stuff i don't miss about "corporate" life, i can be honest and admit there is plenty that i do miss. i had to laugh at the "curl up in a ball over the shit under the highchair" line. my level of tolerance for mess is high, but no where near as high as my husbands! when i think about where i'd like to be in 5 years, i hope we can *both* be home with our kids and work flexible part time schedules- cause we both need both sides of it.
dutch, one of the things i appreciate most about this blog is how it reminds me that as parents we need to be more than just pnuts supervisors. in the sense that we are both from families where that was how we were raised- the kids did their thing, the adults something separate. it is a hard cycle to break sometimes! also hard to find my imagination and creativity, but entries like this certainly inspire it. and i thought i was doing great with the "laundry basket as racecar." urgh.
Cool, Juniper has her own "hoopdie"! (Detroit-ese for car of questionable condition). It looks better than most of the ones I passed this morning heading to Livonia. Now you just need to teach her the Detroit lean and she'll be all set. That, and have her turn up the bass to 11 and blast the rap music.
I wondered the same thing too but never had the nerve to ask. Mainly because I would love my husband to stay at home, but he is not interested. Unfortunately, neither of us has a high threshold for boredom. Ergo, child in daycare and we both work. But I work from home. It's turning out great for us, although I'd love to have them around more. Sometimes I get a little lonely.
Your posts always open my eyes a little. You are so accepting of each other. Reading your blog makes me want to be a better person, better mom, better wife. So, thanks.
Dutch - I think that assholishness is just the "yang" to your creative, brilliant, sentimental, passionate, eccentric, vintage "yin". But I'm still dying to hear it through Wood's eyes!
Wood,
Thanks for the post. My questions about your perspective don't include a natural presumption that you should have some kind of problem with your working and Dutch being at home. I just know there are two complex sides of the same issue between my spouse and I, and I was curious about your thoughts. A sincere thanks for sharing them.
Thank you sister, as another working mom that kind of digs the gig I am in I so needed to hear that. Each family has a way to work with parenting, and I am glad you have found the best for yours. It is nice to hear your side, especially when that side is so well spoken.
Beautifully put Wood. I've also avoided being the female spokesperson for sahd's everywhere for various reasons and yours are spot-on.
Also having met you both, I concur on the hair brushing.
it's not just hair brushing that's the problem, it's hair washing.
Is not washing/brushing hair a theme with SAHDs? That's why my husband shaved his head last week.
Wood, I remember you seeing the 'career girls' walking down the street in SF and you feeling all shlumpy - and I remember saying that when you went back to work you were going to like wearing the suit and the pressed shirt and the killer shoes. And here we are.
p.s. Juniper's looking so grown up.
Two thing -- er totaly unrelated to this post..
1. I just saw a McDonalds ad on the banner. I don't normally abbreviate but WTF!
2. Thank you for bringing my attention to Kate's blog. I am not really comfortable saying that but I am a bit overcome with the news today and wanted to rap it back to you guys if nothing else. There is a measure of gratitude for me in the outcome today but yet so little to say.
OK 3 -- yes we miss the asshole reports.. a few Dora potshots don't make up the difference
Are those stairs in the background on the left, in the pirate ship photo? I don`t see any child barriers -- how do you keep Juniper away from them? My kids would be hanging down from them like monkeys....
MORE WOOD! MORE WOOD!!!
i thought dutch was too cool for strollers.
So you're saying that I shouldn't insist that my husband throw away all those giant cardboard boxes in the basement, the ones that the TV and Home Theater system came in? Because some day I might get inspired and use one of them to make my daughter a car? Crap.
about the ninja post- I had a friend tell his daughter the truck outside she inquired about was just a truck that liked to drive around playing pretty music.
I wonder how old she will be before she finds out that guy sells ice cream AND plays pretty music from that truck.
Wood, you are the greatest! (And Dutch is great too. ). I can not believe how GORGEOUS Juniper is becoming. She's so beautiful. Nice post.
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