Maybe you're so popular that it is really your fans cheering you on! Keep it up SuperDad!
Your Special Olympics analogy was spot-on. Fathers get a TON of leeway.
It'll get better soon. Those first few weeks alone with two can be gruesome.
Heck, I'd call you Superdad, too! The ONE time I attempted to jog with ONE child and our dog? I stopped at a coffee shop at the half way point (What? Mochas don't have many calories, do they?). We were sitting at an outside table. My dog, whose leash was wrapped around the leg of one of the chairs decided, for the first time in her life, to take off after a bus. Dragging the damned chair behind her. Never again. You go, Superdad!
I have had this EXACT discussion with my boyfriend, a divorced father with shared custody of his two young children. People act like he is a 'brave soul' to bring them to the park or *gasp* a restaurant, without their mother present. And he said that nearly everywhere he brings them in public, people comment that he must be "giving Mom some time off, eh?" as if that is the only reason a father could possibly attempt to wrangle two children anywhere without female assistance. Because their mother had a nervous breakdown and needed some "time off."
Special Olympics, *snort.* I am totally forwarding this entry to him.
And Jim, you ARE Superdad. All good dads are.
i would agree that there is a double standard in parenthood between mothers and fathers - but i think anyone, be it mother, father, grandmother, uncle, whoever - who is in charge of two kids under the age of 4 and a dog AND is able to wrangle them together and take them out in public....is a superhero.
(and that was the longest run-on sentence ever. if i was superhero, i'd be super grammatically incorrect girl)
Yeah,if it had been Wood, when people noticed Juniper holding the bottle she would've gotten the disapproving looks because she was not nursing while running, and because she was running at all. Her child's comfort comes first, and she would have been a bad parent while even attempting to have a life.
A man fit parenting into his life- isn't that great? We're idiots as a society in terms of gender expectations.
But- I would've doubled over the cuteness of those babies. I'd like to think I would've doubled for Wood too.
I really love reading about your life.
Eh, leave the cape at home-too much drag, but you totally should wear some tights.
Yes, but I also think dads tend to get more of the evil eye and unwanted advice in public. On two instances when my husband took our daughter outside, he got chided for not bringing her a hat, despite the fact that he was literally just going across the street from the library to the parking lot. People assume dads are stupid and need direction.
"Fatherhood is not unlike the Special Olympics. Sometimes you get a medal just for showing up."
I honestly laughed out loud when I read this.
The double standard does suck and I've noticed a big difference when I go grocery shopping with two instead of just one. With one, my child is cute. With two, I'm a burden on society. Fun.
But I'm just completely impressed that you're jogging with two and a dog. I'd double-over, too.
Man, I would so fly back to Detroit for the off chance that I would see a "white guy pushing a giant stroller with two children while holding the leash of an energetic German Shorthaired Pointer" while wearing a cape!
I'm impressed with throwing the dog into the mix-- why not flaming swords?
I also think your Special Olympics analogy is perfect, in fact I wish I'd thought of it myself. I feel bad for my wife because I can do almost anything short of outright neglect of my children and people still give me nice looks and laugh lovingly, yes lovingly.
I'm not that bad at what I do, but I'll take any leg up I can get, and I do appreciate the public-opinion safety net I enjoy vs. moms.
So right on about the double standard on moms v. dads. My hubby picks up our daughter at school and frequently they go on errands (ie hardware store) where folks are constantly commenting on how cute they are, what a good dad he is etc etc. I never get these comments.
Hmm, on second thought, maybe my hubby is just much cuter than me... 
My husband has pointed out that he only gets 'superdad' comments from women. We've decided that such women have got to be overly praiseful parents (Great job, Sally! You're so good at chewing! I'm so proud of you!!).
Every parent should get those kind of comments. We all need to support each other and egg each other on. I usually get "awww" and "she's beautiful and so sweet" comments when I'm out with my 2-year-old, although I was shocked when a woman at the grocery store the other day threatened to run her over because she was in the middle of the aisle. Even though my husband had his hand on her head and we were both trying to steer her out of the way. Most people are curmudgeons. Enjoy the nice ones!
You know, the other double-standard that always makes me develop a facial tic? It's when people are in awe of "How GOOD he is with the baby!" when the new dad changes a diaper in public, or walks around outside the restaurant with the fussy baby, while the new mom under the same conditions is generally just given the stinkeye because she has a loud baby that smells like crap!
Just one of those charming inequities of life, I guess... However, that multiple chin thing? Totally gender inclusive.
pretty please start wearing a cape when you take your crew jogging then set up the tripod, take a picture and sell it on etsy. i'm crackin up at the vision already.
i agree that fatherhood is not unlike the special olympics. people fawn over my husband when he has ONE of the triplets even when i'm directly behind him with TWO of them squirming out of my grasp. next time, i'm kickin someone in the shins.
the cape is a fantastic idea.
In my next life I'm going to be a dad. I'd be super good at it.
So...does this mean you will be doing the Detroit Marathon in October? Only five more months to train!
(for the record I registered already. no turning back now!)
Thank you for this. It is so refreshing to read this written by a man. Sometimes I wish I could dress up as my husband when I am out. Sometimes it would be so good to be a dad.
It's not something you see everyday ANYWHERE.
But it sounds awesome. Pictures?
Amen on this: "Fatherhood is not unlike the Special Olympics. Sometimes you get a medal just for showing up."
My SAHD husband and I have had this conversation before. Charlotte pitching a fit while Jeff tries to soothe her? What a hero! Charlotte pitching a fit in my presence? What a slacker of a mother. Tsk tsk, indeed.
my husband marvels at how popular he is with the kids in tow... "if only I'd had a baby back in high school!"
I'll give you a dollar if you'll wear the cape.
We were at a "couples" baby shower recently, and all the women there flipped when my husband changed our baby's diaper while the other husbands were in the other room watching NASCAR. And then they all looked at me like I was a terrible wife.
i knew she'd be an awesome big sister...
please stop setting the bar so high for those of us who have no intention of "jogging" anywhere with either or both of their progeny. i had a friend in high school who had a saying "i only run if i'm being chased"- it's wisdom i live by.
best to wood back at work- and to you as you get back into it too!
"Fatherhood is not unlike the Special Olympics. Sometimes you get a medal just for showing up."
Okay, so when does THIS show up in your etsy store as a bumpersticker/ mug? You know you need trademark this.... its a goldmine!
don't forget the "superdad" being hit on by many women, mothers or not. I've never had a male give me a second look when I'm dealing w/ my boys.
yeah, I've never really experienced that whole phenomenon. Probably because of the chins.
Too true, too true.
I get this a lot when I'm out sans children: "Is Daddy babysitting tonight?"
So, what's it called when *I'm* home with them and Dad's not?
When you buckle and start wearing a cape around the neighborhood, I demand that you post photos.
*snort* Special Olympics for Dads! True or not, it sometimes feels that way. I get looks from horrible judgemental moms whenever my baby cries. Oh well!
Uh-oh! Gram is too small to be in the jogging stroller at a run yet.
http://www.mamashealth.com/acces...ss/
stroller.asp
(Lame link, I didn't see any real research on the topic...)
[ed: if anyone else feels a need to express concern like buzzkill here, please first be aware that our son is eleven weeks old, and for two weeks he has been holding his head up like a champ. The manufacturer recommends our stroller for babies six weeks and up---thanks, jdg]
It's so funny sometimes that so many folks are still shocked that a dad could be the main caretaker.
My husband is the SAHD and he constantly gets the kind looks along with "It must be Daddy's Day."
His answer is "Everyday is Daddy's Day."
Okay, let's get serious here. You're totally dogging yourself for your superdadness because you were out with two kids, a dog, and a pair of running shoes. HELLO? My ass hasn't seen running shorts in nearly a year. We got RID of strollers about 2 years ago because our daughter did nothing but bitch in it, wanted out, wanted to walk(read:dawdle, making running IMPOSSIBLE). The dog never saw much more than an ambling, leisurely walk with child in the Bjorn after she was born (dog is now deceased... helped along in no small part, I am sure, by his total lack of owner love post child). See, you Do The Right Thing on so many fronts. Exercise. With kids. With dog. Even though it can be problematic.
I go to yoga for some "exercise" and "time off" while Dad "babysits."
Perhaps your dog could also wear a cape? And you could both wear masks?
Or ... not.
I suppose all this praise from grannies and sahm should make up for the scornful looks you must also get from the male gender generally. I guess it must not be a walk in the park to be a sahd and that is probably why you have to run!
Your children must be light still, because, personally, just thinking about running with a double buggy makes my back ache (and possibly my wrists too)...
Listen, as a SAHM of ONE- You are a superdad. My bulldog gets all tangled up in my stroller, between that the bag of crap im carrying, him zigzagging in front of me, my teather on the handle getting away from me and the kid grabbing his leash, Its a show. I have to leave the dog at home. and everyday running? Fugetta about it!
i want to see the photo of you in the cape...
Superdad is an improvement over years past. My father (a single parent) was always called "Mr. Mom." He hated that.
"Fatherhood is not unlike the Special Olympics. Sometimes you get a medal just for showing up."
HAHA. so funny... and so true.
tomorrow you should wear a cape AND a medal.
Good for you for recognizing the unfairness of it.....but you go superdad!!
Dutch,
Alas, the bar has been set too low by all of those dead beats who don't even "show up". However, it's also a good thing that you're not the one setting the bar.
So, are you sporting a bumper sticker which reads:
"You're just jealous, bitches"?
Is the expensive stroller debate open again?
James.
I was nodding in agreement till the part about having the dog along too. Because if I saw that, mom or dad, I'd roll down my window and shout "awesome" too.
I can't stop laughing at that Special Olympics/medal reference...
Wonderful post, and so true about the double standard. Photos with the cape, if it ever does apppear, would be a must.
I must tell you, though, in Portland, Oregon, people would be delighted by your verve and coordination (because of the actual running and the energetic dog thrown into the mix), but you would not be in any way particularly unusual as a dad during a weekday with 2-in-stroller plus dog. It's a great place we have here. Another common sight is dad on bike, with kindergartener hooked on to him on a tagalong bike, with baby in a bike trailer hooked onto that. It's apparently referred to as a train. Never seen a train with a dog, though.
This is so true.
I loaded up our 5,3 and 18 month old one Saturday to the coffee shop while my wife was working on writing a book and I had a 70 year old woman come up and ask if I needed "help". She also asked where my wife was???? OK....so she gets total free pass because she was really trying to be helpful and I know she didn't mean that I was incapable of taking care of my kids....but it just made me realize the expectation differences between moms and dads. It is getting better (at least within our group of friends) that dads are totally involved but generations before us grew up in a totally different world! - Andrew, Bozeman Montana
Oooh, can you wear the tights too?
Yep! As my husband once commented: there are a hundred ways for a mother to f*** up: too overbearing, too icy, too lenient, too strict, didn't breastfeed, breastfed too long, etc. There is only one way to eff up as a dad, though: by not being there. Any dad who is involved is "A Great Dad!" Mothers, meanwhile, have to walk the knife's edge.
Same goes for housekeeping.
I know of an etsy store where you can get an awesome yet affordably priced personalized satin cape. And mask to match too. I got one for my kid's friend for her birthday, but she makes adult-sized capes on request. Plus, she's in MI so you would be supporting your local economy! And let's face it - your economy could use supporting right now! (That's why I'm still homesick for MI - no jobs!)
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