Well you're probably right. I've tried saying something directly but the other mother always believes what she wants anyway.
I will also say something directly to the other kid. Something neutral but direct which I hope the other parent will hear. "Please don't ram your cart into Juniper. You knocked her over."
Even that has had some fairly comical results. At a caeserland (or Fecal Land) an older child (6 or 7) threw these cushioned blocks all over the place while a group of 6-8 babies climbed on them. After he'd hit two babies (none were mine!) in the head I said he'd need to stop throwing the blocks.
The defensiveness of that mother....I was flabbergasted. She began screaming at me asking if I wanted to go outside!!!!! MOM FIGHT!
I could hardly keep from laughing and just got the manager who removed her from the restaurant. I was afraid to leave after that. MOM RUMBLE!
Moms are weird. Enh...people are weird.
I can't stand the parents who who just stand idly by watching there little monsters wreak havoc on other children.
I've given my 4 year old strict orders that if she tells an adult and the adult doesn't help, she should fight back. I don't want her letting other kids bully her around.
i miss reading too!! sometimes people will ask me what i am reading and i laugh and think "ten little ladybugs" but they are always childless and wouldn't get the joke. i used to be able to inhale a book in a day. no more. it's like i feel my brain shriveling up inside my head and rolling around in there.
at least you are welcome at the playgroup- yesterday my advisor told me that when he was a SAHD to his twin boys (like 13 yrs ago) he was told he wasn't welcome at a local mom's playgroup- they were afraid his presence would make the moms uncomfortable and unable to share with each other. isn't that nice? i would have filed a sexual discrimination complaint, but i am a jerk like that.
i have avoided most playgroup/playground situations for the same reason of just not wanting to be with the moms who are there- they just annoy me so much with the comparing and the presumptions and the i'm-better-than-you-in-every-way attitude. how obnoxious am i?? clearly it is i who am superior to them! sigh. but i agree we need to get pnut some social interaction with kids- perhaps someday if you are ever nearby we could take our kids to the playground together and quietly ignore each other while they have fun. consider it an open invitation.
Ahhhh, the politics of the Kid's Korner !! Sometimes I have met really nice moms/dads, sometimes it's The Mommies and Their Little Shits. Oddly, the last time we were there someone we know from our parenting group was bemoaning the lack of Panera nearby and talking about that same sandwich. We would have said hi if we saw you (and I think Maggie was the only girl there) so I don't think we were there at the same time. Maggie is big for her age and klutzy so she's run into other little kids before, for which I am always hugely apologetic even though I know she didn't mean it (she's got a temper but isn't mean). I swear I know the kid you're talking about--is his name really Otto?
Playground tip: Our church built a really nice playscape and park next to the parish school, at 6 and Livernois right across from UD Mercy (north side of McNichols just east of Livernois). There are teeter totters, a toddler-size playscape and a bigger kid playscape, swings (including some that are handicapped-friendly) and other neat stuff. There are other kids there pretty often, especially when school gets out for the day and they always seem nice. And UDM's campus is fairly pretty, though small, and there are food options if you start getting into lunchtime. And our house is nearby where there's always Trader Joe's knockoff of pirate's booty on hand! I'll have to remember Belle Isle when the weather gets better --it's still a good 15-minute drive for us which I am NOT doing to run around in the cold. I admire you for getting outside at all in the cold. I'm bad about that in the chilly weather, compounded by the fact the child WILL NOT wear any of the four pairs of mittens she owns.
I like the look, I have a raised eyebrow one that seems to say to kids, I've got your number today, even if your mother is clueless. Generally works.
Otherwise, I say loudly and firmly, but sounding sort of like Mr. Rogers, something along the lines of, "Oh! There's no punching here! Let's not punch anyone again!" I try to act surprised, too, as though I'm sure this child has never done this before and certainly never will again.
Usually effective and I haven't been asked to rumble yet. ;-D
My favorites are the small groups of moms talking feverishly about how poor little Damian is being picked on by his nursery school teacher about his biting/hitting/tripping/screaming ... all the while little Damian is running wild and performing all of the above, without mom catching a second of it.
I will be your grasshopper, Zen Master.
(Seriously, I don't think I would have been able to keep cool.)
It wasn't MY Otto. He goes to day care, where they learn to play without running other kids over. Much.
And here I thought we'd found a unique name for him...
When I was a nanny, I would take the little guy to the playground to do the swings and the teeter totters.
One little boy whacked my wee charge over the head with his plastic gun on the merry go round, so I went over to soothe the crying that inevitably followed.
I said to the hitter, "Honey, please don't hit him again. That really hurts, and he doesn't like it. That's not what your toy is for."
Not yelling, totally reasonable voice, very gentle. Just in case he didn't get it.
Then his mother came over, gave me a dirty look, and said, "Sorry, but you're not OUR nanny."
I looked at her and said, "No, but I'm HIS nanny, and your kid clocked him in the head."
"I'm a parent, thanks. I can handle this without your assistance."
"Not when it leaves bruises on my kid here, thanks."
(Lots of thanking going on.)
She gave me the glare of the ages, and went over to her friends. She called me a "little know it all" for everyone to hear, and said I would "get a rude awakening when I had kids of my own."
Wha?
Like I'll suddenly forget how to say, "Don't hit that little boy, please"?
I guess I'm lucky, but I only have good things to say about folks at my local parks. If anything, I find some people overly apologetic for their children's behavior -- as if two year olds should never be possessive of their toys. Not that I haven't found myself in situtations like you describe. People that act like that are just beyond reason. How nice that they model it for future generations.
I knew there was a perk hidden somewhere in the fact that my youngest child is now thirteen.
One of Simon's favorite things to do glare at little kids who are whining, screaming, or fighting in public. And their parents--who are usually fed up with the whining, screaming, and fighting themselves--are usually grateful that a stranger was somehow able to frighten their children into submission. It's especially fun when we're in Utah because then he can put the fear of Heavenly Father into their little Mormon hearts. Good times.
My husband is a SAHD and a self-designated Playground Judge. He does not hesitate to set straight the local miscreants if they act aggressively towards our wee sprite. He delivered a particularly impassioned speech once to a troll-boy who repeatedly pointed a fake gun at our baby and said "I'm going to kill you. I shoot you dead."
He usually gets away without parental interference from the perpetrator's clan, probably because he is enormous and covered in tattoos and they are afraid he will burgle them or something.
Maybe you should get some fake tattoos and apply them liberally in visible locations? Neck tattoos are always scary...
There were two Ottos at this playgroup! One of them did not punch Juniper in the stomach. And there was a boy named "Lichen" there. I've taken a lot of flack for Juniper. But it takes real balls to name your little boy Lichen.
Not looking forward to this kind of behavior from other moms....why is it always moms and not dads? I don't mean that as a negative thing, it's just my experience that it's the moms that get crazy at the play grounds, for the same reasons that dad go nuts on the 'sporting fields.' Gender rules, I guess.
It's the stuff that makes good fiction....because it's true, and we all say 'not me and not my kid.' Whatever. When did kids get so violent, anyway?
Dutch, you are the male version of Kate Winslet's character in 'Little Children' - nominated for Best Actress this morning, woo! She takes her 3ish-y.o. daughter to a small playground every day, plops down with a book, and tries desperately to tune out her kid, the other kids, and esp. their ridiculous, clucking mothers. It doesn't work. Oh, and she has an affiar with the hot SAHD who shows up...uh, end comparison. 
My wife is a teacher and has the "teacher look". It scares me and scares my friends. Our daughter seems to be immune, but since she's only 3 weeks old I'm going to give her some time.
Or, call her an asshole on the internet. Take THAT!
PS: Playground chit-chat is AWK.WARD. Especially when I always want to open with, "don't look so worried! I'm not a sex offender -- see, I'm here with my kid! Cheer up!"
Not always just moms. I've run across a few defensive/hyper attentive fathers in my playgroup/playground wanderings.
Certainly more mothers but the odds are somewhat stacked.
I love the dynamics of moms at playgrounds. The loafer moms in NY (40+ with first child) were my fav, only they were rarely around cos their nannies stood in as mom most of the time at the playground.
In AZ it's much like UT, 23 year old dye jobs with teenagers and no common sense.
Nor Cal seems to be best- mix of hippy moms, moms with no make-up, or Range Rover moms that actually let you use their sand toys, afterall.
oh how I long for an empty playground. Why is it that the only parents I ever like/respect/don't glare at are inside my computer and never at the goddamned playground?
even if you like me in the computer, you would probably think I was a total dick at the playground. I'm not much for talking small.
We live across the street from a playgound. Either we have it all to ourselves by design or my shy daughter is being terrorized. I usually say nothing and just pack up my kid and go home. At some point I am certain I will pounce. Now will I be passive agressive or just plain agressive? I hope for the latter but I will likely fall into the trap of the former.
My only question: is there something inherantly bad about Panera? Or about turkey and artichoke sandwiches? Other than being not particularly imaginative, and woefully overpriced, I mean. Or are you just protesting the volume at which the conversation was taking place? I'm just wondering because you've crammed a lot of scorn into that particular detail.
I'm not any huge fan of Panera or anything, I think that they're unnecessarily expensive and kind of boring, but I can usually get my kid to eat something there, and I'd rather he ate that than McDonald's.
That being said, awesome job with the mean look. I probably would have reacted inappropriately at that point--demanding at full volume that Otto's mother watch her own kid, or something equally ferocious. I should probably work on my mean look.
I had an eery, parallel experience to the swing incident you describe.
It was in Tokyo.
"You'll be okay, Taro, it's not your fault. That other mother wasn't watching where her little boy was running," said Good Japanese Mother.
"I told you that would happen! You`ve learned your lesson and will never do that again, will you?" said Foreign White Devil Mother, comforting her little devil boy (in Japanese, of course, so that Good Japanse Mother would be sure to understand). Then she looked up, and said to Good Japanese Mother`s son, "Thank you for teaching my little boy a valuable lesson!" And Foreign White Devil Mother BOWED to Taro, and made her little devil boy BOW to him, too. Good Japanese Mother was flustered, and bowed back.
I don`t know if similar passive-aggressive tactics would work as well outside of Japan, though.
i take off my filter for mean little bratty ass kids.
and their parents.
Fortunately I may have stumbled upon of of the few normal playgroups in the world (hyperbole implied). Though I'm the only SAHD, I've been treated openly and warmly (and have even been given a baby to hold while the mother had to help her other son wash his hands).
I feel left out of the drama ... sure, we have one kid in the group whose got a little Otto in him, but any one of us 'rents is welcome to give him a little "course correction" when he gets out of line ...
After reading this post and your subsequent comments, I'm thinking I must have freaked you the hell OUT when I marched up to you, Wood and Juniper at BlogHer! I made you make small talk-I'm sorry! (You were not in any kind of way a dick, either)
And, after reading L.s comment about the Japanese mothers, I'm thinking next time you should just BOW to the mother of the offending Otto and say "oh THANK YOU for teaching my daughter a valuable lesson!" You'll embarass the crap out of her.
Dude, how do I not remember that first episode you relate? Weren't we WITH you at that park?
I am so over passive-agressive parenting. Thank God being a working mom and living in snowy Utah means less aggravating trips to the park for me.
Yeah, not big on the small talk. But the more time we've spent returning to any one place the more we've been able to tune out the bozos and jerks, in part I guess because we've ended up with an informal affinity group of non-bozo familiar regulars to draw on.
But what would you calculate the alienation rate to be in any given playgroup or playground?
Some days I hate every other parent on the playground--they drive stupid cars or are drinking their stupid iced latte drinks with their stupid kids and doing something, you know, stupid. (Some days I love all the parents and their iced lattes.) But is this weird state of barely sublimated enmity going on with greater frequency between playground parents than between random adults in a corporate office somewhere?
I have no idea, spending as I do all my time on the playground.
Just be happy you weren't at KK last Wednesday. I took my guys and met a friend and her daughter. We are all just recovering from the most vile stomach flu I've ever experienced. I don't think those broken, mismatched toys are sanitized very often. Fuckers.
Our daughter has a gimpy eye. That is to say, she has a hemangioma on one of her eyelids that at 2yo is still quite noticable. In addition to kids running over her and grabbing shit from her, the little boys--why is it always the little boys?--who are a few years older inevitably notice her eye, come within about 4 inches of her face, pointing, and say to no one in particular "look at her eye! it looks like it's inside out! that's so scary, gross, whathaveyou..." Hey! I say, and grab the child by the scruff of his. No. We wait a beat or two, me and my daughter. We stand there, waiting. When it's inevitably clear that the parent isn't going to intervene (what? because the little shit needs freedom of speech and to foster his freaking curiousity more than he needs some home training?), I politely tell him to stop pointing stop pointing stop pointing, and then tell him it's a birthmark, duh.
OK, I do give these kids a look. I can't help it. It's hard to remain reasonable on the playground, or in the library, or at the supermarket.
I've never had a parent "passive aggressive" me or even acknowledge that anything has happened. WEIRD.
And when the big ones try to grab her shit, and she looks up at me for direction, I nod firmly and she hangs on for all she's worth. Not always with success, but sometimes.
I would have seriously had a hard time keeping my cool with plastic Salisbury steak flying all over the place and my child being knocked over. I greatly fear I'm going to be one of the mothers who will not do well with other children maliciously hurting my kids. Not going to be lax if my children are the instigators either.
I do not have children yet, but have been faced with having to tell other peoples children to cool it around my nieces and nephews. Too bad Otto's mommy is not in my sister in laws playgroup. They have a strict "If your child is a beast, you will be asked to leave" rule. They have enforced it too.
Kudos for you not losing your cool with Otto. I'd have "otto-matically" told him if he hit another child he'd get more than a mean glare!
I just want to say that
Molly Wade Chase (a)has a great name - 2 verbs, that convey 2 different speeds AND 2 distinct terrains - and (b) is a master of small talk. Bravo!
I skimmed all these comments pretty quickly and Dutch, I thought you wrote the kids name was "Lichen Balls" which would have been awesome.
Thank god we have a passel of kids on our street. They run, play, hang together during the day with the nannies doing Zone D. We all know and are friends with the parents, so there is never any weirdness with kids who hit, won't share, are jerks, etc. We usually just brief each other, laugh, or apologize profusely. I watched Beck take out a 1 yo pulling herself up on our entertainment unit with a "No Baby!" like he was a hired bouncer.
Hopefully the kids will grow out of the asshole stage. Unfortunately, many parents do not.
I avoid play groups because I can't stand how some people parent. Instead, we've made a network of friends (moms and dads) who get together with our kids. We have similiar parenting styles and are all free to correct each other's kids without reprimand. It takes a village, for sure, but I want to like what the villagers are teaching my kids.
And Litchen? Seriously?
i'm pretty sure i'd still like you outside of the computer, dutch, but if not, that's where the 'quietly ignoring each other' part would come in. you could read sartre and i could read- well anything other than ten little ladybugs!
p.s. jonathon may have a great tshirt there:
"NO, I AM NOT A SEX OFFENDER"
I`m trying to remember what I did in "Otto" situations in Tokyo. Obviously, my bow-to-the-offender swing strategy would not have worked, from my side, if I hadn`t already told my son twenty-zillion times never to walk in front of swings.
I do recall incidents in which I removed my kid from the company of a junior bully, and told the offender`s mother (always mother -- never father), "I don`t think they should play near each other, because they`re not playing very nicely together."
Stating the obvious without implying who was to blame seemed to work -- but then again, most mothers from outside my neighborhood who didn`t know me personally were all too happy to get their kids away from the funny foreign people.
It's probably Lykken and the parents have no idea their child is a moss.
I read today that AirTran removed a couple and their screaming brat from a flight because said brat wouldn't sit down and buckle up before takeoff - and they're outraged even after getting their MONEY BACK AND FREE FLIGHTS the next day! I need to teach mine how to score us some free travel.
Is it always the violent ones who have insanely defensive parents? Is that how that works?
Anyway, our daughter gets clocked now and again, and I always say something to the other kid, "we don't hit" or "she's younger than you and you need to be careful." I could give a rats a$$ what the parent says or thinks, the kid clearly needs some guidance and my kid needs to hear that she wasn't in the wrong. Now she'll even say "we don't hit" to another kid. No one loves a pollyanna but I figure that's a step towards taking care of herself, she'll keep learning.
I am one of those "loafer moms in NY" (what does that mean, exactly?) who doesn't spend time at the playground during the week, but we do make it there on the weekends, and I find myself consistently shocked when parents don't rein in their kids' bad behavior. You want to look in their eyes and say, "You are not teaching your child RIGHT from WRONG. That is the most important part of your JOB. Get ON IT. NOW." So depressing.
Something about Juniper's baby doll having her nice quiet meal of Salisbury Steak and pickles interrupted makes me so sad. I mean, poor baby doll! A wayward wheeled toy just comes barreling into her personal space and her dinner goes flying? That little shit should have apologized to her AND Juniper.
You know what sucks more than an obnoxious playground parent? An obnoxious playground parent with a nutso dog that growls and barks at children. At the playground there are lots of children. This is a bad combination of circumstances. I live across the street from aforementioned playground, and without fail, Jackass Q. McTuneout comes every Saturday and Sunday, and often weeknight evenings. And even though I don't go to the playground, I know when she's there because I can hear the sound of her neurotic dog barking his ass off for 45 minutes straight.
I am going to take my dog for a walk Saturday. And when that dog starts lunging at us, I am going to say, "Reuben, it's ok. That little fucker's 'mommy' must not love him enough to take him home where he is happier and less likely to eat a toddler and be punished with euthanasia."
Otto(s) and Lichen... it's got to be Ferndale. ?
Lichen! What a totally cool name! But then, this comes from someone who wanted to name her son Carbon or Zinc. After my friends said that they would disown me, I settled for Garnet.
OK, so I'm a biologist/science teacher. And since I am compulsive about science education, you all might really NEED to know that a lichen is symbiotic association between a fungus and an alga. It's not a moss, although that's a common belief.
Playground politics are weird. We live in Ann Arbor, and even though this city is great, as are the people who live here, there were still some unbelievable incidents. Nevertheless, I was completely unprepared for the intense social aspects of being a kindergarten parent. And I'm a teacher, so now I'm finally seeing it from the OTHER side. If you're still writing this blog during Juniper's kindergarten year, it'll be interesting to read your take on the experience.
I do that if a kid hits my son or is rude to him - say loudly, hoping the mother can hear, that it's too bad some people have bad manners, etc. etc. Sometimes I'll also tell the kid not to hit my son, or that he needs to share or wait his turn. I'm not about to let other people's bad, lazy parenting destroy our playground experience. I've never gotten any response from parents, either - one mother was doing the same passive-agressive thing back at us when her son wouldn't share any of the blocks at the library and mine knocked them down after hers said it was okay. "TELL HIM, Aiden! Tell that boy that he HURT YOUR FEELINGS!"... she went on all excitedly. I'm thinking, yeah, lady, he said it was okay for my boy to knock that down. Shut up. But all I said was stuff about how some people don't know how to share and it's too bad.
I grew up with a Lichen.
Yep. That's definitely the way to do it.
The opposite: when you know you're kid's doing something annoying, and you "nicely" tell them to stop in a voice loud enough to let everyone in the area know it's NOT YOUR FAULT.
Well, if glares are against the rules than I am up th ecreek.
My oldest, 12, had a bully at school constantly hitting him. The final straw was when Cory came home and said that the kid knocked him down and kicked him in the face. He had a large bruise on on his cheek bone.
I usually don't get involved in scuffles at school. They usually work themselves out. But this was different.
The next time I was at school, I saw the little shit, and I said "hey, your 'Dustin' aren't you?" He replied that yes, indeed he was "Dustin". I leaned in and said "Well, Duuustin. I hear you kicked Cory in the face the other day." He shook his head and sneered "No I didn't". I got about 3 inches from his face and said "Yes, you did. And I have something to say to you. Don't you EVER touch my son again. Got it?"
He never touched my son again.
I'm delurking to comment. Teaching your kid how to deal with other (possibly not-so-well behaved) kids is a big part of their development. And it will be a really important skill to have at school when they are forced to interact with other little monsters. I totally had to move outside my comfort zone when my oldest (now 7) was about 2 to show him how to stick up for himself. I've said to kids, "No, you can ask for the shovel but you may not grab it out of his hand." Or "Can you please stop jumping on the bridge so he can walk across?"
While your glare may be very satisfying, it's not teaching your daughter how to speak up and defend herself.
I'm all for avoiding people at the playground. Especially children named "Lichen".
Yeah, it's a weird spot to be in. "Leadership Secrets of Attila the Hun" says "A great leader is both loved and feared". Glares don't often get that job done. On the other hand, I'm usually the type that has to fight hard against the urge to pull a ill-mannered kid by their ear over to their parent, then throttle the parent who let their child grow into the monster he or she clearly is.
@ Jody - it's amazing how effective firm whispers into the ears of a child are. Something about the calm confidence that stops them dead in their tracks.
The funny thing is, after I gave him the glare, little Otto was extremely nice to Juniper and me. He came up to show me the toy he was playing with a few times, and he never touched her again.
I say the glare worked. Otto, I believe, was craving for an adult to look at him like that.
I often use the stranger mom glare to my advantage. It's a must when you're the kind of person who refuses to talk to their parents at the park. Work it.
My mom had a look, too. But she also had a breaking point. After my then-6-year-old brother came over to her bloodied at the park, all diplomatic relations suffered a complete breakdown. She stomped up to the 12-year-old who had been bullying him for months, grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt and said "If you don't stop hitting my kid I'm going to find someone to start hitting you. Get it?" It was beautiful in that "Adult goes off the deep end and traumatizes a child for life" guilty sort of way.
Yeah, Otto's ok. The last time I had to tell a little boy to stop pointing at our daughter's eye and to use his words, he scampered off, only to be followed happily by our daughter...She scampered after him, and then we all kind of read books together, while his mother continued to ignore the whole thing.
My biggest goal isn't just to show my kid how to act right--although that's big--or defend herself. It's also to allow her the space to interpret the event. So I don't, actually, get too awful with the kids or confront them beyond the necessary, which is determined case by case--all in an effort to not overdetermine her own interpretation of being run over or bumped into or even hit or stared at and talked about.
Awesome.
All the parents of badly behaved children I've seen in Columbus aren't passive-agressive, they're just not there at all.
This weekend I was at an indoor play area, near the water table, and a 3 year old came up and laughed as she dumped a cup of water on me! Her mom was nowhere in sight. I managed to dodge most of it at the last second, but she tried to do it again, and I had to give her the stern, "You do not dump water on strangers" talk. Maybe I should have told her to dump it on her mom, who still wasn't paying attention?
When Cordy was younger, and still crawling, I had to break the #1 rule of the playground (Don't touch someone else's kid.) when a 4 or 5 year old boy was harassing Cordy, pulling her down by her pants, kicking her, and then finally raking his nails across her head. In between each of these, I told him to stop, and he said he didn't want to.
Finally, seeing there was no parent around, I had to grab the little shit by his arm, pull him away from Cordy, and threaten him to leave her alone with my best "I can hurt you" voice. It finally worked. I saw him walking off with his mom about 10 minutes later, and realized I had never seen her anywhere at the playarea.
Forget passive agressive. If someone hurts my kid, I'll jump right in and tell them to back off. (trying to be polite at first, of course)
I took a 6 month vacation from all things blog around the time you made your big move. Looking forward to catching up and seeing how you are doing with it.
Sounds like passive-agressive parenting is alove and well in Michigan as well as Oakland. Lovely!
One of the cool things about being a nanny is that most playground parents don't want to interact with me anyway (because I'm not a parent and thus know nothing), so I don't worry about being liked. If a kid is mean to a kid I'm watching, I give my kid a chance to stand up for themselves, but if they're too small or too shy or ineffective, I have no qualms about getting all up in mean kid's face--politely but very firmly--and that usually solves it.
This post has bugged me since yesterday. At first I thought it was sort of sexist. Ironic.
But it is the misanthrope of the post and comments. The playground hating... I know not of where you speak. At our park the neighbours meet to share our childrens experience not to bitch and back bite. GGC shocked me similarly a few weeks back.
I wanna ask.. What happened to the Juniper who smiles at strangers on the bus? When it comes to her fellows the public spaces are all unpleasantness?
Don't you think it would be important to take a stand against such a mom and her kid? Those are the kind of kids that grow up to be bullies and they should not be allowed to do that, certainly not to Juniper. Poor little thing!!
You're a better warrior than I. I'd have sun tzu'd his ass.
This all shits me. There are only a few shining lights who understand the whole notion: it takes a village to raise a child. If ANY kid is indulging in wayward, experimental pushing, shoving, hitting or whatever, talk to the other kid, guide them, show them an example of how to behave. Don't glare at them. You might be their only chance that day at a good example. Pre-empt, distract, re-direct, get involved. No-one should be sitting there reading a book with a 1-3 year old in a playground. And sorry: parents of girls, you are especially guilty of this. You think your girls' perfect behaviour is your parenting, instead of (in good part) biology.
Granted, some kids' parents are slack in supervision, but often boys are much, much more testing. And even if you have a perfect child, the village idea still stands. Help other parents, guide the children. One day you might need it yourself.
And Juniper is absolutely gorgeous, and she has great parents! And playground politics are just a giant pain in the butt.
Not to sound harsh, but dude, how can you read when you're supposed to be watching your kid?
I think the better question is not how I manage to read and watch my kid at the same time (which I do quite well), but rather how the other kid's mother didn't notice her son beating the crap out of everyone else's kids. The answer: because she was deep in conversation.
I totally yell at other people's kids, but only in extreme cases. The last time a kid was throwing rocks and I went off. His mother pretended she didn't know him.
I guess I must have the glare down.
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