yes, BUT, when you bring those Schleich and Papo figurines home? the kids will eventually play with them. in fact, they will chew them, put them in the dollhouse and you'll end up cursing them when they pierce the sole of your foot in the middle of the night. then? they are just like every other toy but cooler. street (internet?)cred saved!
Excellent. I bought my husband a bunch of Playmobil Roman guys for his birthday last year. They are poised for action next to the liquor bottles in the dining room. Visitors never ask about them, but walk by, stop and look, and then quietly "hm". Last night he told me he wants some legionnaires for his birthday this year. When he turns 35.
This madness leads to Warhammer, home of insanely expensive models that your child will want to buy, put partially together, paint half of one of a troop of thirty, then leave to collect dust in a box somewhere. Did I mention that you will move said box overseas and back again without it ever being touched. And because by this point you've given up hope of ever having the upper hand, you will continue to buy more models which you deep down know your child will never touch, and you will pay to have them mailed overseas because it will bring joy for approximately 30 seconds and it's not your child's fault that they have to live in another country where for God's sake there's not even an Applebee's? Never mind the culture, beauty, history, unbelievable cuisine, etc. Oh wait, story of my life, sorry!
"Might as well just get out the Singer and sew myself a doublet and a pair of breeches."
Yes, please. The Junipers at a Ren Fair, I mean Faire, would be the blogging event of 2008.
Wood would look fetching in one of those wenchy costumes, too. It could lead to hot medieval sex, who knows??
I have witnessed her admiring corsets.
Now you need a castle to put all those great little creatures in. I'm sure you can build one, right?
It's funny how we have such a vision of what sort of parents we'll be and how our children will be raised BEFORE they are born and how hard reality is when it slaps us in the face afterwards.
I had a friend who absolutely believed that her child would NEVER cry because she would provide for the baby's every need before crying could commence.
Yes. She believed that.
Until about an hour after the baby's birth.
Well, you won't have long to wait. The annual Holly Ren Fest is coming soon! Head north on I-75 and leave the 21st century and all your dignity behind.
We lived in Ann Arbor for five years (1998 ish to 2004) and I loved it. Now when we visit it seems like a horrible place. I can never figure out if it's me or it that's changed, but it doesn't seem....right to me anymore. Too many people and too much money all packed into one place.
Maybe you just can't go home again, and that's all it is.
I do miss Treasure Mart on a daily basis, however.
Enjoy your business expenses.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
Heh. I have this EXACT same dilemma, except that I live in upstate NY, in a town that is REPLETE with malls, chain stores, and propagators of the media cluster-fuck that is most children's toys. My own anti-materialism-crusader-dickhead is just hanging on by a thread, so I feel your pain. If it weren't for the self-aggrandizing fix she gets from checking out other people's carts at the grocery store ("My groceries are better than yours!") she might be long gone. (And also? WALKING WON'T KILL YOU PEOPLE - JUST EFFING PARK!)
My own, complicated web of denial when it comes to buying the Bunker Monkey toys is governed by the following rules:
1. No electronics. No video games, or any of their ilk. I did not spend 20K on 20 acres of woods so he could sit in front of a TV for endless zombified hours at a shot.
2. No media-inspired toys (so no Transformers, no Spiderman figures, no Yu-Gi-Oh). I do buy him Thomas train stuff, but he got into them long before he watched any of the TV shows. Nitpicky, maybe, but they're my rules so tough.
3. No toys that cost more than the grocery bill. So no motorized mini Hummer vehicles (like his cousin got), no cutesy-wootsy child-sized playhouses, no huge kitchen sets that are nicer than the one I cook dinner on.
So if it is not expensive, and he asks nicely, and has been behaving himself, and he hasn't gotten a toy in a while, and it's not near Christmas or his birthday, I will usually buy a toy for him. Yesterday I got "him" some wind-up toys from a company called California Creations - too cute! Yes, they were for me.
And don't feel too bad - I myself have purchased several Playmobil sets "for the boy" that I will never given him because, you know, the pieces are so small! He'll lose them! I'll save them for...later. No, I don't know what that Playmobil set is doing out on the table.
And yes - those Schleich and Papo figurines are AWESOME. It's too bad Bunker Monkey will never get to touch them. Cause you know, they're too small and all. That's it.
Oh - meant to add, the solution to the TV show-inspired crap that's paraded in front of kids on a regular basis? Live in a place where you only get one TV channel, and don't get cable or satellite. It's worked so far.
No idea what to do when they get old enough to go to friends' houses and see the junk there, beyond putting my hands over my ears and saying, "LALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" when they ask for stuff. I hope it works.
We have a large number of the Schleich farm animals and wildlife in our home, purchased at the local farm store (Tractor Supply/TSC). The kids LOVE them and play with them more than just about any other toy, with perhaps the exception of their tractors and Legos.
But, I had no clue that they made elves and knights and stuff. Hmmmm. Thanks for cluing me in!
I like anti-materialism-crusader-dickhead Jim, because he sounds so much harder-core than anti-materialism-douchebag Dan. Stay as true as you can, brother!
Buy the dang toys-- don't deny yourself such a simple pleasure. You have the power to command those kids to play with you-- it's every grade-schooler's dream!
And, for the record, I'd like to find the store selling clothes somewhere between the chain-smoking pubic lice and the tears of work-weary Honduran widows. Does such a place exist?
While you were in our fair city, did you see the brand-new Ford Excursion driving around decked out with the Al Gore 2008 bumper sticker and the quasi-pizza-delivery-PETA-sign on the top that decries the eating of chicken? 'Cause that's my favorite. Yep, gotta love the "Deuce" [snort].
The fact that you still see Ye Olde Faire as a threat means you are safe for the time being.
The weirdest Faire related site I've ever seen, and talk about sewing your own breeches:
thetigercage.com
ha!
Schleich and Papo are our patron saints around here.
You just might think these toys are for you, (an art history prof and fantasyphile) like I did, and then something magical will happen.
Your child will turn 8 or 9.
The same child you've been telling stories after seeing Renaissance paintings (George and the Dragon, let's say) or sharing the works of Herodotus and the battles from the Peloponnesian War and aha!! What's that? Suddenly the toys are for the child, see! They love them even more than you. And at nearly 14, he still loves those toys.
Ow. It's so painful when our pre-child ideals smash up against our post-child realities.
What on earth are you going to do when she becomes a teenager?
Just yesterday my 5-year-old son built himself a Cerberus out of Zoobs (nerdy plastic geometric construction toys). I was so proud.
Later he called me over to take a look at the epic battle he had staged: Cerberus, Papo Roman soldiers, Tintin, Castafiore and Snowy and a couple of PlayMobil farmers versus...a host of Transformers (TM).
You know, I really respect how the two of you approach product placement on this blog (I say this as someone who wants to leave her job to go WORK in marketing). I'm seriously tempted to write to Schleich and Papo on your behalf.
Um, I don't even have kids and now I am DYING to know about the Schleich daughters of the Elf King.
Thanks a frickin' lot.
I just wanted to tell you that I love reading your blogs so much. You're a great writer.
I recently read my four-year-old a new book that I had found for him. We both had a great time with it, but when it was done and I asked him how he liked it, he responded by asking when we could see the movie version.
It was startling to realize that to him, everything is centered around the movie/TV and associated toys. Books are only peripheral merchandise.
As for those toys, you shouldn't feel bad about it. I've found that I tend to share imaginitive play with my children more often and for longer when I am playing with those toys of theirs that I personally like. If you have found something that you can share with your kids, savor it instead of falling into guilt.
I love those figurines as well!
I am glad you posted about this though, it reminded me that it is time to take out our Asterix and Obelix books again. I count on my husband for the French translation and historical facts.
hey, we all have our achilles heel. I'm lucky I had boys and couldn't interest them in Barbie (I tried, believe me). I'd spend a fortune over-compensating for my Barbie-deprived, Free-to-Be-You-and-Me childhood.
I did make our library acquire the complete series of asterix and tintin, staples of my childhood rainy days. I'd be a sucker for an Obelix action figure.
And anyway, like you said, they need to make up their own stories with these figures, right? They're not sitting in front of the TV with their mouths hanging opening, pressing some random buttons.
We went to the Holly Ren Faire a few years ago. And oh, it was resplendent.
I sometimes daydream about the library I'm going to buy for my future children. Please Lord, send me readers.
You know you want that Stormtrooper costume. Just think what reenactments you could stage! Although they might not be exactly historically accurate. But they might be. It is, after all, a galaxy far, far away.
As the ex girlfriend of a thirtysomething year-old guy who had an entire room in our two bedroom San Francisco flat dedicated to displaying his toys, I can tell you that quirky can become creepy really fast. Just thought you should know!
For some reason, stuff has very little pull on either me or my three children between 6 and 15) but your description of AA was painfully accurate. Burning hatred rises in my throat to hear all the aging boomers talk about how "progressive" that place is. Methinks they mean "provincial."
How bad does a place have to be for a woman from Detroit (proper) and who lives in Farmington to decree a place provincial?
Oh my God, can we come over and play?
Just so you know: if you are hunting for more, they have (or very recently had) a bunch of these figures on clearance at the Troy Target. They were on the endcaps facing the wall of games. I actually thought of Juniper when I saw them.
This is such classic dutch... love it. And yeah. we're coming over to play too. And consider yourself warned: some us of DO NOT LIKE PANTS.
Plenty of adults out there in the "real world" believe that all of us who stay home with children are slightly immature, lacking depth, short on brains, or just lazy. Maybe they are right... but who cares. I've got playmobil, a library full of Newberry award winning literature, enough art supplies to stock a workshop, and the kids just baked a batch of chocolate chip cookies. I don't need workplace drama to keep me entertained.
Hey! I didn't know Schleich made elves and stuff either. All I know is they make a very authentic looking Norwegian Fjord horse model (I raise Norwegian Fjords) so make sure your Viking men (if you got one of those) rides a Fjord to be authentic!
Yeah...we are moving to the papo and schleich figurines soon...for me. I have the tintin figurines, and now need to take care of the asterix/obelix side of the room!
oh our Ann Arbor. I've seen pictures on your flickr stream of the House of Blimpy so I know you know where the really good stuff is (though I went to Zingermans three times during my last trip there. I love breakfast there and the olive oil test station). It is a strange place that never really changes but doesn't stay the same either. I'm a sucker for children's books and have bought a few too old for my 3.5 year old saying "we'll read it one day".
Smug Stephanie of 1994 found herself understanding all too well... 1994 being the year I gave birth to our first child.
I am still trying to rationalize the purchase of a pony(that I never got!)for my 4 yr old who would rather have a new pair of Lelli Kelly shoes. My husband says the shoes are a better bargain.
I know he is right because of the 3 horses I already have. MEN!!!
This is why we have more than one child.
Offspring #1 and #2 couldn't give two hoots about the amazing world of Schleich, castles, King Arthur and his dad Uther.
However, the newly arrived #3 will be adorned in a world of dragons (already on nursery wall), wenchs and his Uncle's sword.
Its the important things in life we think about 
you could always go with this darth vader costume and go for extra geek points for combining japanese toys and star wars in one costume. and it is so masculine! http://www.boingboing.net/2006/0...y-darth-
va.html
My kid would love those legionaires. They look like vikings. She got into vikings when I told her I couldn't read her a book I had inherited from somewhere because it would scare her. (It did. I accidentally let her look at it when she had been younger and she was very alarmed at the picture of the viking stabbing the monk. Like an idiot, I hadn't realized the book would have pictures like that. Now she is thrilled by this picture.
Basically, I said "It's violent. It will upset you." And she was instantly begging me to read it to her. Now she is entranced by vikings and their whole murderous, slaveholding society.
Making things forbidden is the way to go. Now watch, I'll try this in some other context and it will not work.
Also, I don't think I can really pat myself on the back as an anti-materialism crusader that she wants to talk about vikings raiding Irish villages and murdering their inhabitants rather than Dora.
I wasn't going to allow my daughter to eat things with refined sugars in them, and she was never, ever going to wear pink. Hahahahahaha! Cough. Ah how young and naive I was three years ago.
We buy the Schleich animals from the zoo when we visit and I find myself trying to coerce her "Do you really want that tiny rabbit? What about this really great tiger, you need a mummy tiger to go with your baby tiger don't you? Oh, you still want that bunny do you, well ok..." (go home disappointed with a small and boring rabbit that spends most of its time under the couch) I think we may move into the dinosaurs soon, my husband is making noises about their 'educational properties'.
Should you decide to don that doublet and breeches and attend Ye Olde Renaissance Faire in Holly, make sure you park your chariot in a space that says clearly "Yes, you may park here. Here. And only here." Because if there is any doubt whatsoever, you may find yourself walking miles down whatever road that is, in the blistering sun, trying to buy your car back from the greasy tow truck drivers who tend to tow first and check to see if it was actually a legitimate place to park afterward.
Living in Lansing and working at MSU gives me leave to laugh long and hard at your trip to the Dark Side. Of course, Sparty's Coffee Shops here on campus now offer Zingerman's pastries, which are amazing. I love their ginger scones.
Oh BTW, we have no kids and my husband loves Bionicles.
I emailed your post to my dad, who at 55 delights in buying model animals for himself. He wrote back, "oh, the post was beautiful and so true. Thanks. I'm printing and saving it upstairs on the shelf next to the Big Cats section of my ever-expanding Schliech collection."
I checked out that Schleich stuff (never heard of it before and it's clearly not at the local Toys R Us) and...they have a SMURF section. Creepy. I think we'll stick to the overpriced Brio train collection (borrowed, yay) splayed out over our eames coffee table (free, yay).
God that sounds pretentious...a trip to Ann Arbor can't be far off. I hear they have a Diesel store there and new jeans don't buy themselves.
I was always much the same way, no way would I park my child in front of the TV just so I could selfishly get some time for myself. No way. My son is now only seven weeks old and I am already counting the days until he's old enough to be mesmerized by some Baby Einstein crap so I can actually finish an Email.
I just want to say that "Anti-materialism-crusader-dickhead Jim of 2004" sounds like a comic book hero BEGGING to be drawn.
The thrifting/resale is excellent in Ann Arbor. All previously worn (not very often) by nice progressive children.
Also, my ten-year-old bought some of the Schleich fairies with her own money as a gift for a friend. They are truly magical.
The hubby manages a Michaels. I can get the Schleich figures at a discount. Which is good, because I play with them more than my 4 year old does.
Ann Arbor- Have you gone to the Prickly Pear for lunch/dinner? Much better than Zingermans. AND cheaper.
excellent post. i have been trying in earnest to get my now almost 2 year old into these figures since his birth.
i present him with the entire display of the animals and let him decide. one day he walked around the aisle and returned with the three headed fighting mythological dog. fantastic.
On behalf of my hubs, thought I should say thanks! You just made his year with the Papo and Schleich toy stuff.
Check out Amazon. They have these figurines for dirt cheap. I have been tempted to purchase them for my Princess obsessed girls.
If you make a trip to Berkley, there is a family owned toy store called
the Doll Hospital and Toy Soldier Shop that has tons of these figures plus many other wonderful and expensive things! (Castles! Forts! Trebuchets!) It's on 12 mile just east of Greenfield. And Hey the Faire is awesome--where else can you be mocked by wenches and men in breeches --not to mention wander around with a giant turkey leg?
they carry the schleich etc. at Target. I always try to guide my kids toward that aisle with all its' non-commercial glory but alas, they're drawn to the pink confectionary of Barbies & Princesses the next aisle over. Oh, well. At least Barbie goes on safari expeditions sometimes, traveling far and wide to see rare BuildABear cheetah and elephant.
It isn't just yuppie stores that have these. The feed store (yes - farm supplies!) has them right at the check out counter so that instead of just buying $4 of chick feed I can also be forced to buy a $12 elephant figurine for my two year old. They are extremely durable however!
I kind of like you as a pro-materialism dickhead anyway. Besides, I've seen photos of your furniture - don't try to fool us.
You have to wear that onesie your mum bought you when you play with them (under the doublet and breeches).
My friend has a book titled "I was a Wonderful Mother until I had Kids". So true.....so true....
My 4 year old son is a Star Wars fan and we bought him the new Millenium Falcon that is about 3 feet wide for this coming Christmas. We are absolutely shameless when it comes to buying him toys but he's just such a great kid and we love the toys too.
You're doing a great job!!
You probably already know this, but another AA thing that seems like it might be of interest to you. The Frank Lloyd Wright designed Palmer House is for sale. It's listed for only 1.5 million. http://palmerhouseannarbor.com/
Love the blog!
Let me tell you about the toy food I barraged my first-born with. He's given the grill set (complete with eggplant & asparagus!) the desultory go-over, and the hand-made felt cake set was a hit for about a week or so, but I realized pretty quickly that *I* thought the toys were cool. As a result I have never purchased the wooden sushi set I so covet. Maybe urchin #2 will be more into play food.
Of course, I pride myself on never giving in to a certain large purple dinosaur, but lets just say that "Bob the Builder" and his plans to take over Sunflower Valley feature largely in our collection (sigh) of DVDs.
Your post had me snorting at work.
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