WOW. Just, wow.
Jules
House of Jules
Great story telling skills, "Jimmy." Too bad you didn't stay longer; you could have written a Bill Bryson-ish memoir of your year in rural Ireland.
YES! I've been waiting for this.
So much about this post is spectacular, but this part stood out: "The island people were so excited by all of this you'd have thought the reanimated corpse of John F. Kennedy had just walked across the sea to announce the winner of the 1998 Eurovision Song Contest as well as Britain's hasty departure from The North."
Brutal and fabulous.
Holy cow! This is my first visit to your blog and I do believe I am an instant addict.
Both of you -- FABULOUS writers.
Now THAT'S a story.
I'm sure Thomas the Swiss kid was easily persuaded to collect bull semen once told it was to protect the Pope.
wow, it would be something if I could have convinced him to collect the bull semen while wearing one of those goofy uniforms. I would have stuck around to see that.
Just love your description of the Aranians and their excitement, funniest lines Ive read for ages.
I loved the part about the hobbits on the Isle of Aran. Your Ireland posts really should be made into a series of shorts.
I like to think that Thomas The Swiss Boy has his own blog somewhere, in which he shudderingly recounts the awful time Jimmy The American caught him "practicing his karate chops."
Loved your story, and I haven't even read the first two parts yet! You are both such fantastic writers, and I really enjoy your blog.
Best 2nd paragraph ever.
My dad brought me with him once when I was little to watch him birth a calf. I wasn't big enough to stick my hand up there, so I stood on the gate and watched, fascinated by the long rubber gloves. After the calf came out, my dad and the farmer took it by its legs and swung it back and forth a few times. Up until a year ago, I thought all calves had to be swung to get the amniotic fluid off them. Recently, though, I related the story back to my dad, and he said they must have been swinging it to help it start breathing. Turning my memory into an altogether different story.
well thank goodness this post title wasn't eluding to your wife- that would have been mean!
I was so happy to read this, although it means the end of the series. I hope you post more from your travels.
I attended the birth of a cow (a bull, actually), too, when I was younger, but on a cousin's farm in NZ. We had to break the sack as it was being born and then pulled on his legs to help get him out. I never put my arm in, though.I can't say I'm sorry about that. But to me, the first steps were the most amazing.
someday you and i can sit over a nice pint and trade horror stories about padre pio, that PITA.
my great grandmother was from an island north of the aran islands, for a long time it was a desolate place nearly abandoned until the big celtic tiger revolution and now it has a huge ferry bringing tourists over every day. crazy.
thanks for spelling the word borough correctly. i for one am sending good thoughts that your next birthing experience is even speedier and sweeter.
Oh...whatever became of Thomas the Swiss Boy? Wonderful story.
This is a brilliant post.
I've pulled calves. I grew up in ranch/farm country and my best friend is a vet and her husband is a rancher. They thought I would be horrified and refuse to do it, but did it. Hell, even hooked chains to one that was "stuck".
When birthing my second child pushing was getting nowhere and I was tired. I suggested calf chains hooked to a Chevy and they all laughed. Unfortunately at that moment I was serious, I just wanted that damn creature out of me.
I have sympathy for the cow.
I just clicked that link you posted above, Jim. Uh, WTF? Is that getup made out of shredded Chicago Bears uniforms? Why do the pants look like crepe paper over skivvies? SO MANY QUESTIONS.
I think it's great that you included photographs, but GOOD LORD I wish I hadn't read/looked before noon.
Sorry to get hung up on the technicalities, but how do you know that the legs you're tying rope to are the calf's front legs? Or does it not matter?
So was this post some sort of veiled code to all of us that the baby has been born? Not that I doubt that these things happened, but maybe you decided to post the story when Wood went into labor to tip us off?
amy, no, the baby is still inside her. this story is more a product of my fears that yesterday's full moon was going to pull it out of her. I still haven't packed my hospital bag.
and Catherine, I think he had figured out that the cow was head first when he stuck his hand in there the first time.
HA! Is that picture of an actual Pope-protectin' uniform?
Actually, I think it would've been most rewarding to have caught him "practicing his karate chops" in that get-up.
Oh, Thomas. Right now you are somewhere in the world, blissfully unaware of this conversation [I hope].
I so love your blog. You write some fabulous fun stuff and adding the photos, nice!!
My Mom was convinced I would have my 2nd son during the full moon... but he arrived two days later. Which was good, it turns out, because the hospital filled up from all the women who DID actually birth that night but were starting to be discharged by the time I went into labor.
Best wishes to you during these last few weeks (days?) until the new Bebe arrives. I'm temped to ask inappropriate questions about the status of Wood's mucus plug... TMI, I know...
Really beautifully written.
Having grown up on a beef farm, I can second that pulling calves happens ALL THE TIME, although I DID always magically manage to be absent for it. Some of my labour experiences have made me feel more sympathy for those poor old cows....
brilliant. better than an episode of Father Ted.
oops. "anonymous" (above) would be me.
bravo! great story.
The pictures totally make the story for me. Grizzly Aideen in her red coat, Davey with his tell-tale Irish triple-chin grin and tartan shirt, the skunky filth of the whole scene. I can almost smell the salt in the air!
Wishing you guys smooth-sailing with the birth of the Little Dutch Boy!
I know I keep promising to write about my Aunt whacking off greyhounds, but at this point can I just tell you and have you write it up? I know it will be much better.
Holy cow. Heheh. I just started reading this great blog o' yours, and ding dang, if it isn't entertaining. Well done!
Let's hope you don't pull out Baby #2 this way...
go home yank, its my field!
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