Oh this post made my heart swell. I understand completely.
It is awesome that you have the opportunity to connect to him like this--it's an experience that most fathers never have. The primal/mother instinct is hard to recreate, but I think you're getting as close to it as is possible.
Rock on.
Ah, that's beautiful.
I think you're right calling that feeling you have for Gram "biblical." There is something definitely ancient and mythical about that father-son relationship.
This was lovely, and he's so beautiful.
That is beautiful (to reiterate what everyone else has said already.) I always (well, mostly) feel incredibly lucky to be home with my kids, and been able to know them better than anyone else. It's an amazing gift.
Well now that you've outed yourself, I'm thinking a video clip of your Lucky Charms voice is in order! 
What a sweet post. It's just lovely to read a father's perspective, no?
This is great. Thanks.
Beautiful. My husband and I are expecting our first, and I am extremely aware how nervous he is. He is great with toddlers, but loose-necked babies turn him into an awkward mess. It is always reassuring to see a dad who's got it.
Lovely post, Jim.
Great post. Tough to do this eloquently without sounding like a sissy. My hat is off.
That was so sweet!
I feel like the pictures you do post of him are so 50s-esque (esp. the black and white one) . I don't know why. I think it's a combination of the colours and the clothes.
Baby love is so primal, emotional, exhausting and uplifting. Thanks for reminding me of those feelings, especially since my baby is 16. Are Gram's eyes gray? He's beautiful.
This was beautiful Dutch. As is your son. He is striking.
and that, my friend, is true co-parenting in a nutshell... what we should all aspire to, what we'd all love to be able to figure out.
the very best of all good things to your family for being blessed enough to be out in the forefront of this parenting revolution.
Gorgeous photo, gorgeous words. I can see you, reading this.
I love this. It's interesting how different parenting the second child is; I felt more competent right away (in large part because he's so much more easygoing, I'm sure) and I felt like his mother right away, which was not the case for Maggie. I had that moment awhile ago too, where I just realized I adored this little boy, for who he is, not because he's my kid or just like his sister or anything, but because he is Will.
Way to go Dad. So interesting to read about kids and family life from a dad's perspective.
What a picture! Look at the love in his eyes....
so sweet.
Sometimes being silly is just the best stress release available and the laughs are rewards far greater than any financial bonus.
Your cloth-diaper-swell-of-poo-water post made me unsure about getting pregnant; this one makes me want to be on the verge of labor. DAMN YOU and your beautiful writing!
This is how I feel most days. I have a much deeper bond with my son than I had with my daughter at this age- how and why I don't know... Right now I'm getting over a cold and both kids are in the middle of it, and I feel so helpless in a way. How wonderful is it to have nothing else to do but cuddle them up in your arms and just enjoy them? I could never have had this feeling without being home with them all day. Even though sometimes I want to tear my hair out with feeling incompetent as a parent.
I think my fav part (it was hard to decide) is "the only person whose opinion really matters weighs fifteen pounds, and apparently he thinks I'm totally awesome" - isn't that one of the greatest feelings in the whole wide world? Beautiful post.
This post really got to me. It made me think of my father. I never bonded with my mother as a child, but did with my father. Your children are extremely blessed to have two such loving parents.
Big Wet Tears. My husband stays home with our son and has since he was 14 weeks old. I am so incredibly grateful for and proud of you amazing men for being the wonderful fathers you are. Happy early Fathers Day, Jim.
You describe the amazing, (eventually) instinctive and silly parts of parenting so beautifully.
Beautiful. Just Beautiful.
this is so sweet.
Awesome.
Thank you for sharing and for reminding me of how cool that feeling is...and now I can see its still there thanks to reading. Your son looks at you so knowingly and softly assured in that picture.
I love reading a dad's perspective, at once so different and similar. Lovely, truly.
the words you choose paint a picture as evocative as the photo you posted. thank you for sharing this. i think all parents need to read things like this- just a little dose of sanity.
he is a gorgeous kid- congrats on enjoying this wonderful time with him (and "gayer version of Sgt. "Motor Mouth" Jones made me spit soda on my keyboard).
I had to show this post to my husband because I know he sometimes wonders what he has missed, while never doubting the magnitude of what it is that I do on a daily basis. Weekends are for him to soak himself in his kids and he does so wholeheartedly, so I knew he would appreciate reading this entry. While I can't say that he wishes he could do what you do, it is wonderful for him to be able to read about infant care from a male perspective. For me, I have to say I get what you are saying more than I have ever 'gotten' anything written by a man. Caring for two small kids is hard.
There is nothing better then when your very own beautiful baby looks at you and breaks out into a smile like that.
wow, I just implemented my decision not to be a stay at home dad. and you just made me regret it.
Hey Jim - did you see this? http://www.npr.org/templates/sto...912&ft=1&
f=1001
I saw a picture of the house and immediately thought of you. There's been some of this in NYC since the 70s. There was a story in the NYT a few months ago.
oh bless!
This makes me smile - and wish that one day I will have a baby with eyes like Gram's and that my boyfriend will (even if he can't express it as well as you) feel as you do.
Great to hear that you're finding the groove, Jim! The subtle queues of an infant make for the most rewarding of translations. I am envious of your opportunity to sustain the momentum of your connection! Here's to dads that can fly solo for any amount of time..
Dude, tell you what-- we can punch each other, cause I totally understand what you're saying. I got myself on tape, and then a friend later transferred that tape to DVD-- when I watched it later, I could not believe HE didn't punch me in the face for making him vomit as much as he must have while (even just idly) watching it.
As a side note, I knew my daughter (16 mos.) was small for her age, but Gram is already 15 pounds? She's got to get a move on or he's going to lap her.
AWWWW. You guys are just so damn sweet.
I love this post... and on the subject of making oneself vomit, Gram looks like a small angel in the picture (bleahhh) Seriously though. Like one of those little Hummel children, but less creepy and more squeezable.
I think it's awesome that you get to spend so much time with your kids... a lot of dads would kill for that chance, and the rest of them never know what they're missing.
Happy Father's Day, Jim.
I am so jealous. As an infertile who was lucky enough to have twins 10 years ago, I so ache for this again and it can be very despairing to know that it will never be. Enjoy it. Cherish it. Revel in it. But then, I can see that you do and you are.
You need to write a book. Immediately. Happy Daddy Day Jim!
Dude, you are so awesome. I am glad to know I'm not the only person who makes up silly retarded songs and talks in funny voices all day. We also have about 87 nicknames over here. Alexa never gets called Alexa. It's always Hootie, Weasel (or Weaselbits), Skeezeroo, The Hoo, Weaver Deaver, Snoodlebop, Hootiefish, Malteaser (I could go on...) People think we're NUTS. (We probably ARE nuts. Hm.)
I agree with earlier poster(s) that it is fantastic that you have the opportunity to develop such a bond. It's just harder for fathers, generally speaking, even those with the best of intentions and efforts.
Beauty all around: the words, the emotions behind them, and that son of yours! Happy Father's Day!
One of my favorite posts EVER. Thanks Jim and Happy Fathers Day. I am thankful to have a husband that is as involved with the kids as you are.
Perfect. Thank you.
just in time for father's day. this made me teary and gave me a little glimpse into the days that my husband has at home with our boy every week. he's so happy when i come home - and through you, i can see why.
a good egg, you are.
Beautifully written. Most father's will never experience this bliss. Some mothers don't either. You are very lucky indeed, and you write about it so eloquently.
I agree with whoever said you need to write a book immediately. This post was lovely and interesting and poetic - but then most of yours are... well done... again.
"gayer version" cracked me up.
we had the same experience, my husband had the post partum with #1 and #2 bonded with him quicker and I. And we both allowed for it to be their experience. At 9 months we went from preferring dad to clinging to me manically, but we both know each phase is temporary and it all evens out. and that knowledge is so gold to us know, each step and perk isn't overlooked and each hard part isn't the end of the world to us now.
the second, they get less one on one but such a better quality set of parents. it DOES feel good to know how the hell to do this job. the first time i kept waiting for my old life to start or someone to mail me updates on what to do next. now i realize we get to write the book and update it as our kids grow and change.
anonymous was me forogt to sign in. i hate anonymous comments.
thankyou for putting it into words, that strange and scary feeling that you might not do it right, that pit-of-your-stomach fear that only time and love can take away. mummies feel it too, and then it's men just like you who are our anchors. gotta love it when things flow smoothly on a two-way street.
Oh my HOLY, his eyes are beautiful - what a gorgeous baby!!! And this post? I think this is something more fathers (no, scratch that, more parents) should do, stay home and be with their kids and get to know them and feel that utter, complete comfort. My husband is going to be home with our son this summer while I work, and I am jealous as hell and yet so happy for them to have that bonding time. My heart swells just thinking about the two of them in the sun, sandy-footed and tanned, holding hands and jumping in the waves.
That is so sweet. You're a wonderful father.
i just got there with my four week old son, and it feels really nice.
This is a really great post. When I went back to work and we made the decision for my husband to stay home with the boy, I was so glad. So excited that this was his time with his son. I had all of those quiet moments breastfeeding and looking into his eyes and now my husband gets that time in a different way.
I love how eloquent you were in explaining the bond between father and child. My husband works a lot of late hours but through it all, he was always the one with the magic touch to get our now 10 month old to sleep. Lately the baby doesnt want to be held before falling asleep and last night I said, 'why dont you just put him in the crib and let him fall asleep on his own?' and he said, 'No! I enjoy this time with him even if he doesnt want it. I DO.' haha
Keep up the good work!
A beautiful, heartfelt piece.
This post is so inspiring to me, and I hope my husband and I will be able to find our individual balance as you and your wife seem to have.
Co-parenting is beautiful, and reading blogs about it is so encouraging to me as I get ready to (eventually) have kids. Kudos!
this is the first post i've really read from you, and i can't believe how exact you are about the whole thing. i strive to explain myself as well as you do.
p.s. you rock.
xo
b
I fell in love with my son while he was in the womb, I swear, and yet with my daughter I just didn't have the same experience. Could it be because she was concieved during the 3 days on the calendar that it said I was ovulating? Verses some romantic occasion or interlude? Could it be that I was straddling a car door everytime I had to open it because it was hanging on by a thread and the hubby didn't seem to notice and that made me a little crabby? Could it be that I felt divided into so many pieces after she was born. Like there wasn't anything left somehow. Worst of all her independance started the day she was born - leave me alone I want to do it, confident and assured. Exactly who she is today 17 1/2 years later
I fell head over heals in love with her one special day - 6 months later.
Is that OK??
g-r-a-m? as in, unit of mass? wtf is wrong with you?
sweet perspective, thank-you for putting into words what really matters.
Beautiful post. Bryan watches Theo twice a week and says it's the most amazing thing. He feels so much for confident--it's such a special and wonderful thing to be able to do.
Happy belated Father's Day Jim.
Gosh, I can relate to this on so many levels. My son stayed home with his new son one day a week for four months, and now I am watching the little joy one day a week. I love the bonding that is happening. I know that he and I are forging a relationship that might not otherwise be what it is/will be. And I also love seeing his face when his folks get home at the end of the day and their little family is complete again.
and they lived happily ever after.
he's as handsome as you are, dutch.
If voices in your head start suggesting you should slaughter him to please the Lord, it might be better to consider it a natural bond rather than a biblical one. Just sayin'.
I've melted.
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